Love, Wedding, Marriage Page #3

What's with all the candles?

- Dad's being Jewish.

- So this is what it's like

to be Jewish.

- Mom agreed to go see

a marriage counselor.

- She did?

- I could set you up

with a fantastic therapist.

- You think that would help?

- I think I want to be Jewish.

- What?

- What?

- You're getting a pony.

I want a bat mitzvah.

[Playful instrumental music]

[door clicks open]

- Oh, don't make

any sudden movements.

- Don't hate me...

- Okay, knock if off,

you two.

[Laughs]

Hi.

I'm just kidding.

- Dad, why don't you go get

settled up in the guest room?

- Oh, yeah, thanks, honey.

It'll be fun to have

some company.

Huh?

[Chuckles]

- Ava?

- I went over to go see my dad,

and he was all alone

in the dark.

He's so depressed.

- Is he moving in?

- Only for a couple days.

- Your father

cannot live here, Ava.

- [Sighs]

It's only temporary.

- Yeah?

Then why did he bring

his goldfish?

- Couldn't get him to leave

without Malcolm.

- Malcolm?

Really?

We're supposed to make

decisions like this together.

- Please.

Please.

- Okay.

But just for a few days.

[Knock at door]

Gerber.

- Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, buddy.

Where's Ava?

Hey.

- Hi.

- There's someone

I'd like you to meet.

Guys, this is Kasha.

- Nice to meet you.

- My wife.

- What?

- Huh?

- My wife.

I finally pulled the trigger.

- When?

- Today.

Charlie, you were right.

You know the moment

you meet your wife.

- Congratulations.

Ah!

Oh, my gosh.

- I didn't even know

you were dating.

- Buddy.

- You move fast.

- Well, I had to.

Her visa's up in a week.

If I'd let her go back

behind the iron curtain,

I might never have seen

my little Polish princess

ever again.

- There's no iron curtain

anymore, Gerber.

- Yeah, tell that

to immigration.

- So... where did you meet?

- Oh, thank you.

- You are ridiculously cute.

She's still working

on her English.

- How did you meet her?

- Well, last night,

I went to a bar,

and I ordered a shot of vodka...

- Vodka?

- Vodka.

In Charlie's honor.

- My honor?

- For a fallen comrade.

- But you don't even

drink vodka.

- I know.

That's the most amazing part.

It was handed to me

by this Slavic goddess,

and at that moment, I knew.

It was fate.

- Gerber, that is so romantic.

Welcome to our country.

[Laughter]

- Oh, thank you!

- Her English is great.

- Oh...

We got you a wedding present!

Uh-oh.

Look what happened.

- Thanks, Gerber.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- It was nothing.

Besides, us married folk

should stick together.

- I hate Gerber.

- Doesn't he know

we have to wake up early?

- He promised

this was their last song.

- # We've been together

since way back when #

# Sometimes I never want to see

you again, girl #

Come on.

- # But I want you to go...

know #

- What do you want me to know?

- # After all these years #

- Yeah, sing it, girl.

- # You're still the one #

# I want whisper in my ear #

all:

# You're still the one #

- # I want to talk to in bed #

all:

# You're still the one #

- # That turns my head #

all:

# We're still having fun #

# And you're still the one #

- # I look at your face

every day #

- I can't take this anymore.

- Thank God.

Let's take the party upstairs,

please.

- Ava!

Ava, you got to try this.

I mean, you push a button,

and the music comes out,

and words, like, pop up

on the screen and...

- # Deep in the desert #

# I longed for the snow #

both:

# Still the one #

- # That makes me laugh #

both:

# You're still the one #

- # My better half #

[gentle instrumental music]

- Hey, babe.

Come see me at the winery.

We'll have lunch

at the vineyard cafe.

- Charlie, Ava's here

in the vineyard garden.

- He loves you.

- I wasn't doing that.

It's just a nervous habit.

- Right.

- I'm meeting the caterer here

in an hour to discuss the party.

- You aren't canceling

the party?

- No.

It's in three weeks.

They're gonna be

back together by then.

- I have total faith in you,

babe,

but you may want to consider

the possibility

that they don't

get back together.

- What kind of marriage

counselor would I be

if I took that approach?

Besides, my horoscope today

said that I can achieve

whatever I set my mind to.

- Here it is.

- Thanks, Adrianna.

- Charlie, your interview

with Wine magazine

is confirmed for 3:00.

Hi, Ava.

- Hi.

- I had a great time

at the wedding.

You looked very pretty.

- Thank you.

- So I had this made

for us.

- What?

- It's a belated

wedding present.

- Wow.

Okay.

- Our own vintage.

We'll open it

on our tenth anniversary,

and, like our marriage,

it will only improve with age.

- This was so sweet of you.

- It was, wasn't it?

- Come here.

Thank you.

- [Smooches]

- Charlie.

My dad's staying

in the next room.

[Breathing heavily]

[Tapping]

- Ah, come on.

Come on.

[Tapping]

[Pounding]

Bradley.

- Oh, morning, Charlie.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't wake you, did I?

- Oh, no.

I was up.

- Dad, what are you doing?

- Putting up a mezuzah.

You didn't have one.

- We're not Jewish.

- It's crooked.

- Yeah, well, it doesn't hurt

to have a little blessing

on your home.

I thought Charlie could use

some help with those pictures.

- Uh, that really

wasn't necessary,

and I prefer to do that type

of thing on my own,

and I'm actually quite obsessed

with my paintings and...

- But it was very thoughtful

of you to want to help.

- [Laughs]

- Oh, and, Dad, don't forget,

you and Mom have a meeting

with the therapist tonight.

I've heard great things

about him.

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna make some coffee.

Bradley, do you want some?

- Is it kosher?

- I have no idea.

- Then I'll pass.

- I can't imagine

why she left.

[Mischievous instrumental music]

- Betty.

Bradley.

Entrez.

There's an exercise

I like to do

with all my patients

before they sit down,

Sort of a ritual.

So start out by taking

short, quick breaths

through the nose,

like this.

[Snorting]

[All snorting]

Now I want you to shake out

your body, like this.

Then hop up and down like this.

This is wonderful

for igniting your chakra energy.

Hop, hop, hop.

- More like

ignite your sphincter.

- [Snorting]

- Shake out.

Shake out.

- Who's that?

- Adrianna.

I swear, if Gerber's not here

in the next five minutes,

we're ordering without him.

What's that?

- It's a Polish phrase book.

I though it might help us get

to know Kasha a little better.

- Yeah?

What's Polish for "green card"?

- Don't be so cynical.

They're in love.

- They don't even speak

the same language.

- Did you know there are

five love languages?

Not all of them are verbal.

- Seriously?

You're the one saying

that marriage takes work,

commitment...

- But the falling-in-love stage

is the best part.

- Wow.

I guess the honeymoon is over.

- Baby, I fall in love with you

all over again every day.

- Hi.

Sorry we're late.

- Okay.

- Mwah, mwah.

- Oh.

- Three.

- Three times.

- Thank you.

- Ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

Wonderful, you two.

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