Love At First Hiccup Page #2

Oh, don't be silly. Your brother

doesn't drink.

Yeah, and I don't dig girls over

Victor, breakfast is ready!

Oh, good morning.

So son, any nice-looking girls there

last night?

- Yeah, did you get any p*ssy?

- Zachary!

You need to use a different

language, young man!

Yes, mom.

Hizole consigue coo?

Did you get to

bump into any big jugs?

Stop it!

Back in my day,

we called them melons.

Christian!

Well, some people did, but, no, no,

not me.

You know, I better get back to work.

- Oh, don't forget this one.

- Thank you, son.

See you.

So, what kind of trouble are you

boys planning on getting into today?

Nothing out of the ordinary, -

- maybe knock over

a liquor store, hit the titty bar.

Oh, that's great!

Hey, mom, did anyone call?

No. Who would have called?

Oh, I don't know.

What if she's crazy about me,

but just doesn't know it yet?

In theory she already kissed me.

It's all subconscious.

She even smiled at me this morning.

Anya's the type who'd smile

at a child molester.

If she likes you so much, why

don't you go over and talk to her?

Well, she's sitting

with all the Seniors.

What about that smart-ass Peter?

Is she dating him or what?

No, I'm sure they're just

really good friends.

Is Victor Knudsen really

gonna go down in history...

...as the Kentucky fried chicken who

didn't dare fight for his own woman?

You're right.

No, time out, time out. Are you sure

there are no hiccups on their way up?

I got it covered.

I didn't drink a single sip

of water today, or yesterday.

Good luck, Titanic!

Can't you faint from dehydration?

What's up ladies?

Is this Candid Camera or did you

just say "what's up ladies"?

I just wanted to say how great it

was to see you at the party.

Me and my dress?

Don't you know little Freshmen

aren't allowed at the seniortable?

Last I checked there was no

reservation sign.

Listen, you punk, I don't know

what you're trying to pull here.

But don't ever talk

to any of us ever again -

- or I'll split your skull in two!

Go buy yourself a Hershey's kiss,

kid.

No one in their right mind would

ever give such a loser one for free.

- Nice one!

- Huh? You like that? Like that?

Well done.

"Go buy yourself a Hershey's kiss,

kid".

- Hurry up.

- Relax already.

Check the stalls, will ya?

Clear. Make this quick.

I seem to remember you never liked

it when I was too quick about it.

Look, I'm sick and tired of Anya and

her unspoiled, virgin bullshit.

What is she trying to prove?

Don't worry, she knows she can't

graduate a virgin.

She said that?

She said she wants to do it soon,

and...

I told her the best way is to do it

with someone with experience.

Someone

who know's what he's doing.

Thanks for the compliment.

Can't you -

- prepare her a bit?

- Prepare her, are you crazy?!

- Just give her a few tips.

I'm going to her house on Wednesday

while her parents are playing Bridge.

Seriously Peter,

that's between you two.

I wanna see my girl happy and

I am not pushing her to do it.

It was a lot easier with you

back in the day.

All it took was a ride in

the Precious Junior -

- and a twenty buck dinner.

Besides, when I've had Anya too,

you girls can finally discuss sex.

So, I guess I'll basically be doing

you a favor.

Chupa mi verga.

Keep talking dirty, baby.

Okay, Casanova. So you're gonna

tell this girl you barely know -

- that she shouldn't sleep with her

boyfriend even though she wants to?

Well, he's not really her boyfriend.

But... yeah.

- Great plan, Vic.

- ! 9lt's not so bad.

- Ah, God, you're so young.

- But Peter doesn't love her!

So? When did that become

mandatory for love making?

Come on guys, her house

isn't that far away.

- Hancock Park.

- Oh, that's a rich neighborhood.

Yeah, I bought the address off Zack,

he's friends with her little brother.

Doesn't that make you two

practically related?

Yo, the girl that your in love

with...

...happens just to be your cousin,

Oh, doesn't that hurt

a little buzzing...

going around in

your little wedgie stomach.

I can't believe your feelings

just took a plummet.

I can't rap, man, but I'm doing it

for you!

It's right there.

- Wow!

- Oooohhh!

Damn! Yourfuture wife is loaded!

You guys stay here. I'll handle this.

Heads up, Vic!

- Hi, Victor!

- Hey there, Anya.

So, how about that?

- It's almost Wednesday, huh?

- Yeah, I guess so.

You live around here?

Uh, yeah, yeah. Um... no.

- Here, ah, let me get those.

- Thanks.

So, ah, what's up with all the cans?

Huh?

Hi Anya!

Well, we're turning great profits

from the party by selling them.

I didn't know you were

such a businessman.

Oh, yeah, sure.

You know, me and old Billy... Gates,

ha.

Let the profits go to charity.

China, Af-Africa, Ca-California...

- So, it's almost Wednesday, huh?

- You said that already.

I did, I did, yeah.

That must make it a fact then.

Look, I came to tell you, um....

I wanted to ask you....

You know my little brother Zack,

right?

He's friends with your little

brother. Small world, huh? Ha, ha.

So Zack's your little brother.

Is that a good thing, or?

Yeah, yeah, he is. Good old Zackie,

he's a real... bro.

Victor, is everything alright?

Hell, no. Yeah! Yeah, yeah,

everything's just... dandy.

- Well, I gotta get going.

- Are you going to Peter's or?

No, I actually have

an interview at USC.

I'm really nervous.

Do, do I look alright?

You look... beautiful.

Cool. I, I mean, thank you.

I'll see you later, Victor.

Oh, and I really don't want you to

sleep with Peter on Wednesday.

Come...

I don't...

Come on, what?

It's a great opening. We need to

make it juicierthough.

Not to worry. That's under control.

Victor's going to a party on

Saturday.

Anya would be delighted

to see Victor, -

Saturday, September 10th at 3 PM, -

for her 18th birthday celebration.

That's an hour after all the

grown-ups arrive.

I like where your head's at.

One question gentlemen...

The Invasion of Normandie is what?

Took place when? Lead by whom?

Sorry Mein Frulein,

that's three questions, not one.

D-day, 6th of June 1944.

General Eisenhower.

Damn, you ought to teach that sh*t!

Yes. And you ought to get down

to the principal's office. Now!

- Herut!

- Darn!

It's only an overnight trip, right?

Yeah. So, I'm not gonna pass.

- So it's Wednesday...

- ! 9 Yeah...

I can't believe that...

Yeah in Study Hall...

I'm sorry we can't

help you out tonight.

Yeah....

Ernie...

Sorry, we gotta bounce.

The Lakers await us.

You gonna be okay.

Good luck, Vic.

This Napa Pinot

is elegantly smooth, -

- full bodied with

a hint of blueberry.

And it has an exquisite nose.

Cheers, darling.

Cheers.

I think it tastes a little stale.

Stale?

- I'll give you stale! Huh?

- What? Nooo! Nooo!

Huh? Huh?

What? Huh?

Seriously! Stop!

Yourturn.

- I'm actually a little cold.

- I'll keep you warm.

What the hell?

We'll pretend like no one's home.

Oh, no, no, no, let me just

go check it out really quick.

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