Love At First Hiccup Page #3

Hi, Anya.

Hey... What are you doing here?

Well, call me a mama's boy, but

I promised I would pick up Zack.

He's not here. Brian's with

my parents playing Bridge.

Really? You sure you don't have him

hiding in here somewhere?

What the hell is hiccups doing here?

Ah, I just swung by

to pick up my kid brother.

But apparently he's not here.

Why in the world would

your brother be here?

He's friends with Brian.

Exactly.

Well, I hope I'm not

disturbing anything?

Not anything we can't get back to.

- Well, I guess you better be going.

- Peter, don't be rude!

No, I'll, I'll leave you two

to do it...

To it!

See you later, Victor.

Time for bed.

Kindergarten starts early.

What? Huh...

Okay. Where were we? Oh, yeah....

Yeah.... Right there. Right there...

Yeah! You feel that? It's pectorals.

Feel those pectorals, baby?

It's muscle.

- What the hell is this?

- I guess tonight isn't our night.

No sh*t, Sherlock!

Victor?!

I'm really sorry to bother you,

but I can't find my wallet.

So I was trying to back track

my night, and I thought, -

- well, I couldn't possibly

have left it here, could I?

Unless you threw the thing through

the door when we weren't looking!

You, you didn't come in really.

That's true...

Is there something going on

that I don't know about?

Do you drop by

several times every night?

- No.

- Of course not.

Are you trying to cock block me

or something?

Look, I,

I hope you find your wallet.

Thanks.

Let's see, your little brother,

your wallet, -

- is there anything else

you want us to check for?

Nope. I think that's about it.

Great!

You alright?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm fine, I'm fine... Unless it

wouldn't be too much trouble...

...could I get a glass of milk?

Whole milk. My personal favorite.

Lots of energy. Tasty, yet...

...whole.

More?

Ah, what the hell.

The night's still young. Fill me up.

Well... thanks forthe drink.

You sure you don't want more?

They say to drink a full gallon

when you're still growing.

Naa, I shouldn't. Biking.

I'll put this bad boy in the

dishwasher, make myself useful.

- No, that's not necessary, Victor.

- I got it.

- Where do the dishes go?

- I'll take care of it! Useless!

Guess I better be going!

Thanks for stopping by, and if you

need a bedtime story or get hungry...

- Do it at home. Okay?!

- Okay.

- See you later.

- Much, much later!

Jesus, God!

I don't believe that kid!

I bet you in five minutes he'll want

to borrow 3 eggs for a cup cake.

Oh, he's not that bad.

"What's up, ladies?

My name is Victor. I'm a mama's boy

picking up my little brother!"

I think he's sweet,

in his own dorky way.

Sweet? Oh. I'll show you sweet.

I only play to win, Roger.

All I'm saying is

if I open with two diamonds -

- it isn't particularly intelligent

of you to call "no trumps".

I mean for God's sake,

there weren't any more spades!

It's called bluffing, my darling.

You saw it for yourself,

they had no idea what I was doing.

Well, neither did I!

They're probably porking like pigs

right now.

Watch your language, young man!

You know, maybe we should ring

the bell, just in case.

We are the ones who live here,

are we not?

Yeah, remember when your mother

and father walked in on us?

We were on the kitchen counter...

I'm gonna ring. I'm gonna ring.

That's it, you cock blocking

son of a b*tch!

No more Anya to stand between

you and my fist!

Why don't you f*** off

so I can finally f*** her!!!

Mr. And Mrs. Benton. Hi.

We were just doing some homework.

Drama.

You wanna put your shirt on?

How was Bridge?

You're right. Peter's facial

expression is priceless!

I know, the sunglass cam was

definitely a good investment.

Especially with the stuff of my dad

cheating in Bridge too.

Yeah, that will make us

a nice blackmail payoff.

So, what do you think

we'll make on this film?

A couple hundred million at least.

That's what those French folks got

from the animal video on YouPorn.

Oh, the one with the porcupine and

the giraffe screwing?

Dude! And those are mammals.

We're getting people!

- People are mammals, stupid.

- Whatever.

Benton residence, talk to me, b*tch.

Hi. It's Victor. Is Anya there?

It's Victor. He's actually buying it.

Well, she's out taking a dump.

Are you coming

to her birthday party?

I know she really wants to

see you.

Really? Yeah, I'd love to come.

Do you know what kind of present

she would like?

The idiot wants to know what

she wants for her birthday!

Well Vic, if you really

wanna make my sister happy, -

- you'll buy her a tarantula.

She's wanted one of those things

since she was little.

Atarantula? Really?

Hell, yeah.

She's always dreamt of having a

wrestling match between her lizard -

- and one of them black, hairy beasts.

I didn't even know she had a lizard.

Alright. Thanks forthe tip.

Are you sure you guys are related?

I know! How can anyone be that thick?

It balances the color.

That's what you gotta do, honey.

Hey!

Do you guys happen to know -

- if tarantulas are like,

really deadly poisonous?

- Why, did you see one?!

- No. No, I was just curious.

They are one of the most dangerous

of all spiders, Victor.

- If you see one, do not touch it!

- No.

- What's in the bag, son?

- Just some homework.

Wow!

- He's so cool. Let's keep him!

- We can't keep him.

Mom will go ballistic if she found

out we had a tarantula in the house.

Besides, it's a present for Anya.

- Let's name him Hugo.

- Don't piss him off.

- Let's find a dog and feed it.

- They don't eat dogs, you idiot!

The big ones do. The Turners down

the street, they own a Chihuahua.

- Zack, where are you?

- Mom! Mom! Get the door!

Zack!

Zachary James!

What the hell?

I guess he's stronger than we

thought. And hungrier...

Oh, no! No, no, no, no.

We have to find him now!

Where are you?

Zach!

Arrrhhhh.

You're such a wimp.

Whatever you're doing, young man,

don't!

Zach!

Get up! Get up! Get up!

- Oh, you're in here.

- Hi, Mom.

- How are you today?

- Zachary, what did you do this time?

Nothing at all, mom. I'm just...

helping Victor with his homework.

You know, World War Two and stuff.

Great war.

Is something wrong, Victor?

You look a little worried.

Ah, no, no, no, I just, have a

stomach ache.

Does it hurt bad?

Do you want some yoghurt?

- Oh, I'm alright. It'll pass.

- We ate three packs of cream puffs.

Well, no wonder!

You have to eat something

more substantial.

That's what I kept telling Vic here,

but he kept insisting.

I love cream puffs. What time is it?

Oh, my God, it's already 5.30.

I'm gonna start dinner shortly. You

boys better be able to eat something.

We will.

And it was freezing cold in

Stalingrad.

The soldiers had bare feet...

...as they walked... where?

That's question number 8.

It'll make an awesome scene

when he gives it to her.

Word. Hopefully she'll punch him

or something.

Hey! That's mine!

No one get's away

with cheating in my class!

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