Love Is a Four Letter Word Page #2

I see...

So, what do you do?

Oh.

Now did you go ask him

what he does for a living?

Yeah...

Cause Luke is allergic

to that question.

Vodka.

I cannot be defined

by how I pay my rent.

Then how? By that ridiculous scarf

and all the body glitter?

Honey, if you're not sparkling -

what the f*** are you doing?

Touch.

I'm Luke.

What name do they call

out when they pin...

your ankles behind your ears?

I'm Stephen.

Stephen with a V or

Stephen with a PH?

Uh... PH.

Just verifying that you are gay.

Just for the record - my ankles

are never behind my ears.

Try yoga. You'll get there.

Not necessary, I'm a total top.

How... Limiting. Why?

Not that it's any of your business

but I just don't like to get f***ed.

Wait, your name is

Stephen with a PH...

and you're a total top?

Papi, how could you neglect

your prostate like that?

You know, nice talking

with you girls -

And a great reminder of why I

don't come to places like this.

And just what do

you mean by that?.

People here are so... typical.

Are you calling me typical?

Typical might not be

flamboyant enough.

I'd say, you're more

of a gay clich.

Eres mas pasiva que

la puta que te pario.

(You're more of a bottom than

the b*tch that gave you birth. )

He called me a gay clich.

Oh f*** him.

What does he want me to do?

Wear flannel and go hiking?

I'll show him gay clich.

Oh, no.

Would the crazy f*ggot

get off the furniture?.

Would the drag queen please

get a wardrobe budget?.

Security.

I'm Tess Tickles

and this is my show.

Get your paws off me.

Whoa.

Oh.

Hey there, shy boy.

Where do you live?

No, where do you live, stud?

I'm sick of changing my sheets.

Eightieth and Broadway.

Where do you live?

I live around the corner actually.

Bye.

I was starting to judge myself...

And I have the potential

to judge myself...

right back into a bar.

So I dumped that little pee-wee,

cause ain't nobody taking

my f***ing sobriety.

No way. No how.

Ain't gonna happen.

Hi, I'm Marilyn and

I'm an alcoholic.

Hi Marilyn.

Thanks for the share, Sheila.

I'm still having

trouble... Letting go.

I'm having trouble

getting to step three...

But thanks to my sponsor

Trisha, I think I'll get there.

I'm learning to appreciate

the little things in life.

You know, like cranberry juice.

I used to resent

cranberry juice because...

it made my vodka taste so...

I don't know...

Sweet.

Now I realize cranberry

juice can be really tasty.

Straight up.

Luke?

Try to look busy.

The owner said he

might come by today.

What do you want me to do?

I don't know... Dust porn.

You know, I never in

a million years...

imagined I'd grow up to be this -

A duster of porn.

Who said you're grown up?

God knows you're no

spring chicken...

...but as far as fitting into the...

sociological

framework of an adult?

Eh-eh.

I suppose you learned all this...

sociology mumbo-jumbo

at the New School?

Before they kicked you out?

They didn't kick me out. I left.

Well, I didn't have to

waste time at college...

to learn about sociology.

Did you know that some

study on the correlation...

between penis size

and various things -

Found that there is no

connection whatsoever...

with the size of the feet?.

And you bring this up because...?

The study did claim however,

there is a connection between

penis size and height.

But I often find glaring

exceptions to that rule.

Well maybe their sampling

wasn't as big as yours.

True.

So why did you leave?

What?.

School?

My parents stopped

helping me with tuition...

after I came out to them.

Ouch.

They decided New York wasn't

the best place for me -

And instead enrolled me at

some religious school in Ohio.

Eww.

That's why I didn't go back.

Black anal lickers.

I think I know that guy.

That's a picture of an ass.

Yeah...

I think I slept with it.

God, you're so typical.

Where are the normal gay people?

Typical?

You just hold it right there, Mister.

The other night, some guy

called me a gay clich -

Very perceptive of him.

Excuse me?

For your information, there

is nothing typical about me.

At all.

Just because we work together

you think you know me.

I went home with

you once. Remember?.

Bits and pieces...

So?

So, I know you're not very good.

I passed out.

Exactly.

I was drunk.

No kidding.

Yoo-hoo.

You two are such a cute couple.

And you sweetie...

Oh, you remind me so much

of myself as a young man.

Peter, tell me...

Am I just a pathetic gay clich?

Don't answer that.

I know what you think.

But seriously -

Why does this

bother me so much?

I guess everybody

has a need to feel...

significant in some way.

You have Derek and that

whole lovey-dovey sh*t.

But that's not for me.

I guess being single and

easy makes me feel good.

If I wanna f*** I f***.

Are you following me?

Hey Marilyn. How is restaurant

managing treating you?

Luke. What a pleasant surprise.

Maybe I should

come work for you?

We had such fun waiting tables

together last summer, didn't we?

Yes, didn't we?

Oh, and Peter tells me you

got engaged to the owner.

Way to go.

Thank you, Luke.

But... I thought you couldn't

have a relationship...

if you're in Alcoholics Anonymous.

It's not a cult.

Anonymous means

anonymous, Peter.

Sorry.

Right. Hush, hush. If only

your liver could talk.

As a matter of fact,

I'm late for a meeting.

Trusting you can close things up?

Don't forget to throw out the trash.

Goodnight, Marilyn. Iets

go for drinks soon.

Hey baby.

Hey.

How you doing?

Good.

I'll have another.

Actually, we're closed.

Oh, come on. A friend in need.

Derek, you remember Luke,

one of our regulars.

Hello there Luke.

And hello to you.

He's just depressed because

he found out today...

that he's a gay clich.

I am not.

Okay, baby... Just

give me a few minutes.

I just have to close out.

OK.

So Luke, right?

Why don't you tell me

what's bothering you?

How can it be?

I've worked so hard to stand out.

To sparkle.

Not to be some stereotype.

I don't think you have

to worry about that.

You seem to stand out to me.

Besides, nobody fits neatly

into a stereotype Luke.

Do you have a big dick?

Uhh, I don't know.

Really?

Let me investigate.

OK, sure, sure. I have a big dick.

So you're a black

man with a big dick.

We're all just a

bunch of stereotypes.

All of us.

There are black men

with small d*cks.

Poor, poor souls.

There are exceptions

to all stereotypes.

But I don't want to be an

exception, or a stereotype.

I wanna be exceptional.

Sometimes it all

seems so pointless.

Are you lonely?

I'm drunk.

You know before I met Peter -

I felt that way a lot.

You know, I wasn't

unhappy, but something...

definitely was missing in my life.

Baby, I'm ready to go.

Luke, out.

Don't let him

p*ssy-whip you, okay?

Excuse me?

I'm just saying. I know Peter.

I think I can take care of myself.

Hey, I said time to go.

No kidding. Where's the party?

Now we'll get you a cab

and get you home, OK?

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