Love Is a Four Letter Word Page #3

Home? Who's going home?

Home is the four-letter

word for no other option.

I am not going home.

Where's Mace?

Come on, honey, lets go.

Audrey.

Hi.

What are you doing later?

There's a party in my pants

and everybody's coming.

I'm Luke.

I know.

We've hooked up like three times.

You never remember me.

Sorry. Just trying to be polite.

Luke. Yeah, you made it.

I always do.

You've got to see Mace

performing in the dark room.

I just... I just saw like,

seven hands and a trunk.

It's something out

of Indian mythology.

Have you been

pollinating again, baby?

Give us the blow by blow.

I was nursing a giant banana slug.

I held a left hook in one hand and

a sloping cascade in the other.

That is the most highly

evolved species.

It's naturally angled to just slide...

My turn.

Follow me.

Beware of the trolls, Mamita.

Audrey, can I go home now?

Aww, just nuzzle in, hon. It's OK.

Everything's gonna be just fine.

Where did you learn that?

Hobby.

You've got some talent.

Umm, practice makes perfect.

You wanna...

You wanna finish this at my place?

I kind of want your

undivided attention.

Are you always this needy?

Not always.

Well, it's not everyday that

I find a sloping cascade.

A what?

A sloping cascade.

My friend Mace -...

You?

- Stephen?

With a PH.

Well that's funny.

Are you stalking me?

Hell no.

Still wanna come home with me?

No.

Why not?

You called me a gay clich.

Aw. You didn't strike me

as the sensitive type.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Yes you did.

Well, I take it back.

Woof.

Meow.

Iets blow this joint.

I already have.

I'm beat.

I bet. Long day, huh?

Anything I can get you?

Always the gentleman.

Anything for my baby.

Been in this daze for days?

From the love you gave?

Still so sweet on my mind?

Feeling kind of crazy?

But I can't hardly wait?

To see you again?

Just do what you do?

Don't ever stop?

Giving me that love you got?

Don't ever stop?

Always rely on things you feel?

Things you feel inside?

When you need to put

your sense beside?

Let your heart decide?

I can't get enough.

Though it can be rough?

Even make you cry?

Never say goodbye?

Maybe feel the same?

This is not a game we're playing?

It's the truth we make?

I can't get enough...?

Get enough.... Get enough....?

Roses are very

conventional, of course.

But that's not

necessarily a bad thing.

At my cousin Suzy's

wedding, they had tulips.

Tulips. Everywhere.

It was so bizarre.

Just a few more minutes,

honey. I'm so ready.

Umm, right there, honey.

Umm, right there. That's it.

No tulips.

No tulips for me.

Wait, let me get this straight.

You met your perfect man -

In the backroom at Boys Room?

Isn't that ideal?

Most people would be

ashamed to admit that.

I am not most people.

No Kidding.

I've been with a lot of guys.

I mean, A LOT of guys...

But this was something

out of the ordinary.

What, you didn't pass out?.

Stephen and I had

a real connection.

I think we even looked

each other in the eyes.

And the way he f***ed me,

I went right into the stratosphere.

And then he didn't care

about cumming himself.

He didn't cum?

No. He said he didn't need to.

It was all about my pleasure.

Well, you must have liked that.

Oh, I did.

I bet he's on anti-depressants.

Or Tina

What?.

Or E. He probably couldn't cum.

That is not true. I

can make anyone cum.

He just chose not to.

For him it was all about Moi.

Jesus.

So what about you?

Did you bang anyone from

naked yoga class last night?.

Naked yoga class is

not about sex, Luke.

Me and Jasper were busy...

making flyers for the

equal rights march.

Huh.

Who's Jasper?.

My dog.

Aren't you non-stop fun.

Hey you.

Now that's customer service.

Luke is trained to satisfy.

Zeke, this is Stephen.

With a PH.

So you're the guy who's been

keeping Luke awake all night?.

Hey don't I know you?

I don't' think so.

So, to what do we

owe the pleasure...

of your presence here

at the Gaybourhood?

Interested in a butt-plug?

May I introduce you to

the anal intruder?.

No smart ass, you know

I'm not into that.

I came to ask you on a date.

How proper.

Luke doesn't date.

Too much commitment.

Is that true?

Not necessarily. It's just

the idea of dating...

Hi. How are you?

Hi.

Sitting across from a

complete stranger...

and having them ask me

forced questions...

Like how many brothers

and sisters I have,

where I grew up, and

what my star sign is.

It's so unnatural.

Credit or debit?

Debit.

Go ahead and swipe your

card and press your pin.

Date is a four letter

word for interview.

And if I wanted one of those -

I'd look for a real job.

Thank you.

So, may I schedule one?

What?.

I like the skills on your resume.

Can I set up an interview?

Only if it's a very modern-day,

very no-strings-attached

type interview.

I'm a no-strings-attached

employer.

I won't even bother to

check your references.

Yeah, that would take years.

So, how about tomorrow?

Yes.

You don't know me,

and I don't know you.

Perfect.

There's a spinning class at

David Barton Gym at 7.30 PM.

Be there.

Will do.

Oh, f*** you, Zeke.

Come on.

Five... four... three... two... one.

Hit it. Up and off

that seat, come on.

Yeah go for it.

That's right, up that hill.

Go. Nice.

Pound with that foot. Pound it.

Yeah. Come on, you can do it.

Keep going. That's right.

All right guys...

...you ready?

I said are you ready?

One - go.

Yeah. Go. Come on.

Yeah. Come on, you

can do it. Push.

Push. Yeah.

Save it for the steam room.

So I was wondering:

How many brothers and

sisters do you have,

where did you grow up,

and what's your star sign?

One of each.

Beaverton, Oregon.

Cancer.

And you?

I'm an only child. Beverly

Hills, California. Leo.

So, what do we do now

that we know each other?

I think we take it slow.

All the way to my place.

Impressive.

You don't remember my

place from the other night?

Not at all.

I just hope you don't substitute

taste with a price tag.

Well, I brought you home didn't I?

You calling me cheap?

So how do you afford

all your baubles?

Are you asking what

I do for a living?

Let me rephrase the question.

Who had to die for you

to afford this place?

Well if you must know,

I have a trust fund.

Well it's not something I'm

proud of, or not proud of.

It just is. And it allows

me to focus on my passion.

Which is?

Painting.

I'm getting my MFA

at the New School.

Everything you see

on the wall is mine.

Nice.

I'm trying to evoke visual

emotions from my art.

I want you to feel something

when you look at it.

Like those ink blots?

Would you like to lay down?

Don't mind if I do.

How does that one make you feel?

Horny.

And this one?

Horny.

What's your passion in life?

I would have to say sex.

Nothing more? Nothing

a little deeper?

Oh, deeper...

And you wonder why I

called you a gay clich.

And what would you

like to hear doctor?

That all I want is to

love and be loved?

And until I find that,

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