Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun Page #2

- You confess that.

- And perhaps Cristbal, once.

Twice.

Confess it.

How often did you lead him into temptation?

- ln spring...

- Where did you touch him? Tell me.

- l've confessed that.

- lt doesn't matter.

Cristbal wanted me to touch him

somewhere and l ran away in anger.

l need to know exactly.

l'd like to know every little detail.

Did you not have any bloomers on?

- Yes, l did, but he...

- lsn't that so?

Crist never wanted me to do that again,

even though we were often alone.

But he said if we were married,

then l would have to do it.

What would you have to do, child?

Talk to me.

Touch the thing l didn't want to touch.

l did have to take it upon myself once,

but that was in a dream.

You need to express yourself more clearly.

lf you don't confess your sins,

l won't be able to give you absolution.

No!

The poor thing. The Reverend Father

is probably beside himself.

- Continue.

- ln my dream, my cousin came over.

Suddenly, he was standing there naked.

l screamed.

He put his hand over my mouth and said

that if l didn't do as he said, he'd kill me.

He pressed my head towards him

and demanded...

That you put something in your mouth?

l complied.

l was so scared, l nearly died.

- You didn't defend yourself?

- Not enough.

Were you...turned on by this?

l don't know what that means.

l mean, did it turn you on, physically?

Reverend Father, what's wrong? Are you ill?

l shall pray not to have any more shameless

desires or ideas that lead me to commit sins

and not to satisfy other people's lust

in my dreams.

- So you regret your grave sins?

-Yes.

- Have you often dreamt of your cousin?

- No, only once.

Aquilino left the village to join the military.

l never saw him again.

lf you had seen him,

and l don't mean in a dream,

- would you have done forbidden deeds?

- No.

Well, l have formed an opinion

about your sinful body, my child.

You shall reform your flaw

with thorns and flagellation.

Doesn't one atone for one's sins

through prayer, Father?

l am not your father,

l am your master and disciplinarian.

May the Lord acquit you of the sins

that you committed through carnal lust.

Josefina, what is that castle over there?

lt's the residence

of the Cardinal Grand lnquisitor.

The castle opposite contains

the dungeons of the court of lnquisition.

You mustn't touch these habits. They've

been sanctified, as the rule demands.

- The High Priestess herself will clothe you.

- Why is she called High Priestess?

You'll see. This is no ordinary place.

You'll get used to everything.

We'll help you.

You needn't fear us. Believe me.

l do.

You have a child's hands.

How soft they are.

Just go in.

That's Sister Antonia. l'm Sister Joana.

She and l are the youngest here.

- We novices must stick together.

- My name is Marie.

May l welcome you with a sisterly kiss?

Stick with me and Joana

as long as everything's new to you.

Give me the apple, Antonia. Thanks.

We play funny games as often as we can.

You should watch.

- l'll join in.

- Great. Come here.

Watch.

- Now it's your turn.

- lt might be a sin.

lt's only a game. There's no harm

in doing it. Come on, don't be a spoilsport.

But if you're one of those

who are always worried about sin,

then you're no playmate for us

because you're too fond of women.

Come on, Marie.

What's going on here?

You've made friends straight away?

You seem to be very quick to make friends.

- lt wasn't her fault.

- l doubt that.

l will talk to you later.

Leave the room now. Go.

Take off your dress now.

You will spend three days without a dress.

Father Vincente has imposed

thorns upon you as a penance.

lf you chastise yourself,

your sinful lust and desire will pass.

l have just seen with my own eyes

that his opinion of you is perfectly accurate.

lf you wish to please God,

you must change.

Yes, High Priestess.

Lord of Darkness, l have daubed myself

with the juice of a toad,

and you have ordained me as your bride.

l have danced naked in front of you

and bitten your symbol into my loin.

On the goat meadow,

we have come together, joined in the flesh.

And now you're denying me our child?

l will not bear the one

l have received from you.

- ls it you?

- Yes, High Priestess.

Thy shall be done, Lord of Hell.

You are my arbiter. You command.

Come to me.

These two have caused me

to deliver the child before it is due

by offering me an apple.

Stand by us so that we may finish our task.

ln the name of hell, leave my body, Lucifer.

- Joana.

- l'll be right there.

- Hurry up.

- Yes, High Priestess.

There.

Here's the powder from a child's liver.

Help me!

Satan!

Satan! The devil's child

is flowing from my loins. l'm giving birth,

but it can't take shape because

that's what the Lord of Hell has decided.

His child.

Why can't l be a devil's mother?

l sacrificed my virginity to him

on Walpurgis Night.

Lustfully, greedily, we merged,

when he visited me

in the shape of Father Vincente.

How many times did it happen?

l'm dying.

Help me, paramours of Satan. Help me!

Have mercy, Lord of Darkness.

Release me from this satanic sacrifice.

No. No.

Yes, Father Aquilino.

l'm coming.

But the Father will punish me with thorns.

No. No. No!

- She screamed loudly. l wonder why?

- We should ask her.

Father Vincente said, as soon as...

Watch out, there she is.

You need more self-discipline, Joana.

Well, Marie, have you done penance?

- l'm in great pain.

- All the better.

You must learn to regard pain as a triumph.

You must be ready to make sacrifices.

lf only l could. l'm very weak.

l'm very simple-minded.

There are many things l don't understand.

And l'm very afraid of pain.

- One gets used to it.

- l'm not sure about that.

- Only with the right attitude, of course.

- High Priestess, help me achieve it.

- Please.

- l will, under one condition.

You will submit to me completely,

with obedience and discipline.

Your carnal desire and lustful wishes must

be mortified by inflicting pain upon yourself.

Before the evening comes, you shall drive

the thorns deep into the soles of your feet,

until they bleed and you are no longer able

to skip around so light-footedly.

- Marie? Marie, it's me.

- No! Cristbal.

- You mustn't be here. Please go away.

- But you'll come with me.

lf they see you, l'm doomed.

l won't escape with you.

l have found peace here.

l don't believe you. You will only find peace

if you become my wife.

l'm the Lord's bride.

l can never be your wife.

l have given myself to heaven.

These are only words, Marie.

lf you love me,

then...please go away.

- l swear to you, Antonia...

- To Satan.

l swear to Satan

that this is the loveliest of all our games.

Antonia!

Paramour of the devil.

l can see him in the shape of a goat.

Receive our obscene kisses of homage.

Lucifer.

Oh, Joana.

Antonia.

You have served me well.

l will serve you more, and even better.

You have given to me, mistress of Satan,

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