Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun Page #3

and now l shall give to you.

Yes.

Get me the devil. l want to ride him.

Oh, no.

Holy Michael, Holy Gabriel, Holy Raphael,

all ye holy angels and archangels,

pray for us.

Holy Peter, Holy Paul, Holy Jacob,

Holy Demetrius, Holy Bartholomew,

all ye holy apostles, pray for us.

Deliver us, o Lord, from all sin.

Deliver us from the snares of the devil,

from hatred and all ill will.

Deliver us from the spirit of fornication.

Lord, help me.

Kneel down

and rid yourselves of all secular thoughts.

For a few days,

there has been a girl among the novices

who has been abusing God's kindness

through grave transgressions.

Let us pray for her.

Lord, take the sinner back into your arms

who has saddened You by being unchaste.

Confess that you are a grave sinner.

l confess my grave transgressions

to the Holy Virgin Mary.

l do not know if it was the insinuations

of the devil or my own arrogance

that caused me to violate

the commandments of the church.

l pledge to Holy Mary and all the saints

that my efforts shall be without end

to return to the bosom of the church,

to the Holy Mother Church, which is

the only joy on earth for sinners like us.

- Sister Josefina, l have a favour to ask you.

- You're white as a sheet.

Sister Martina told me l should ask you

if l needed to send a letter to someone.

- Who are you sending it to?

- My mother, but nobody must know.

- lt's in safe hands with me.

- Thank you.

Woe betide him who keeps secret

what he does and will not account for it.

He will be banished from the community,

whose joys he does not share,

whose trust he does not deserve.

For his secrecy conceals sin.

lt says here, ''lf Cristbal returned,

this time, l would flee with him.''

This abhorrent letter

proves your mendacity.

lt also says, ''Take me back.

l am afraid of losing my soul.

''Dear mother, the sisters and the abbess

often behave in a rather strange manner.

''And Father Vincente is not

the devout man you took him for either.

''l can hardly describe it in decent words.

He is depraved.''

This letter is full

of such libellous statements.

You have only yourself to blame

for the consequences.

This disgraceful piece of paper

shall be destroyed for good.

What would have happened

if your mother had received it?

She might have died of sorrow and shame.

What if it had fallen into the wrong hands,

the hands of the General lnquisitor?

He would have shown you

what it means to lose your soul, and more.

You shall suffer the consequences.

Perhaps sooner than you think.

Josefina, this novice wishes

to be imprisoned, to flagellate herself

and to ponder her sins in solitude.

- No, l do not wish that.

- We determine your wishes.

Those who rebel against this

have not understood

that there are ways

of enforcing the statutes of this order.

Get out of my sight!

Come here.

Get in there.

O Lord, l don't know what to do.

Why don't you help me, Lord?

Well, child?

What do you request of me,

Reverend Father?

This is a moment of mercy.

The hour has come for you

to sacrifice your virginity to the order.

Today, you shall be

the centre of a great ceremony.

But first, you have to complete a task

for which l have chosen you.

This is the reason why l have come.

Ever since you confessed to me how

your cousin came to you in your dream,

l haven't found peace in prayer.

l think that you should grant me

the same as you granted him

because l am now

one of your closest confidants.

- Don't.

- You...

- Go away.

- What? Kneel down.

With him, you didn't resist so much.

You said so yourself.

l'm calling you, Lord of Hell.

Come, Lucifer.

Make me a priestess of the devil.

Make me another Lilith, your servant.

Hold her in readiness. Lord of Hell,

we are sacrificing this child to you.

Her blood is fresh and pure.

We know that you desire fresh blood.

Prepare yourself to sacrifice your virginity

to the King of Kings, Sister.

Heavenly Father!

Your father in hell will introduce you

to the pleasure of being his paramour.

He will marry you,

and you will belong to him for all eternity,

with your blood, your womb,

your whole body and all your entrails.

The bat's tail

and the birds that you will eat alive

will keep your sex drive up

and you will give birth to devils...

..in the shape of newts, lizards,

snakes and disgusting worms.

Mount her in the shape of a man, Satan.

Kneel down and show your reverence

to the most illustrious of all debauchees

so that he may fill you

with sensuality and lewd desires.

May he hasten to you and take from this

child what he has always been entitled to.

Fall down, on your knees.

She shall be yours.

Come on, Joana.

You're the paramour of the devil now.

Heaven is closed to you forever.

You're his bride. From now on you will enjoy

forbidden fruits together with the rest of us.

Rejoice with us that you are of the devil.

Well, have you finally calmed down?

No, how could l,

after all that's happened to me?

l've been dishonoured in a disgraceful way.

What nonsense are you talking? You're ill.

- No!

- So why are you talking feverishly?

The sisters called me because you scream

and lash out day and night like a demoniac.

You always mistake dreams

and fantasies for real experiences.

ln your mind, everything must seem so real

that you mistake phantasms for the truth

and dreams for reality.

ln order to counteract this danger

more efficiently,

you will remain in solitary confinement until

you realise that dreams can lead to lies.

- Are you implying that l dreamt all this?

- That was certainly the case.

No, that man and you

did disgraceful things to me.

She's possessed by the devil.

- God be with you, Sister.

- Do you know where Don Antonio lives?

- The alcalde? Up there, up those steps.

- God be with you. Thank you.

Who's making all that noise,

as if the devil was after him?

Who's making all that noise,

as if the devil was after him?

Take it easy!

l'm on my way.

- What's the panic?

- Forgive me, Alcalde.

- You're not exactly gentle, Sister.

- Are you the alcalde?

At your service. Antonio Fernando

Quijeros Mel. l'm the mayor.

l'm from the convent Serra d'Aires.

l need to talk to you.

l see. Well, come on in.

What's the matter, little Sister?

- Please sit down.

- Thank you.

You're welcome. How about a little drink?

A glass of red wine?

l'd prefer a glass of Bagasso.

- Very well.

- l could use it.

Well, it's up to you.

- There you are, Sister.

- Thank you.

You can really put it away.

My uncle would be happy.

He's very proud of his brew.

And now tell me what happened.

l had to flee the convent.

But why, for God's sake? The abbess

and the father are such good people.

lf only you knew what goes on there.

l must get away.

They lead a scandalous life.

The abbess makes pacts with the devil.

And the father celebrates black masses.

They lead a depraved life. They live in sin.

l'm absolutely convinced that you're wrong.

The Reverend Father and l often drink

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