Love Potion No. 9 Page #2

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[Meow]

Bad rice.

Bad rice.

Be quiet.

I am very serious.

So am I.

I love you so much.

I want to tell you | that I love you.

[Telephone Rings]

[Meow]

[Ring]

Hello.

[Meow]

It's all right.

You don't have | to apologize.

I made 100 bucks | off of it, didn't I?

A gift?

Right now?

Well, yeah.

Well, what kind of gift?

Hi.

[Coughs]

Ahem.

I'm Marisa.

[Ring]

Hey.

Gary?

Yeah.

Are you alone?

Yes, of course | I'm alone.

Do you want to be?

?You're no good ? ?Heartbreaker ? ?You're a liar... ? [Knock On Door]

[Knock Knock]

?I don't know why ? ?I let you do | these things to me ? Hi.

?My friends | keep tellin' me ? Oh, come on in.

?That you ain't no good ? How are you?

?Whoa ? ?But they don't know ? O. K.

?That I've been...

That's nice.

Is that a new couch?

No. I've had it | about a year.

It looks new.

Well, I keep it | in good shape.

Are you still working | with your father?

Yeah.

What?

I...

Oh, man.

Got to go.

Did you...

put on | a little weight?

[Zips Pants Up]

Uh, can I | get you something?

What do you got?

I have some | terrifc wines.

Do you have any, uh...

gin?

Gin?

Sure.

Gin on the rocks.

Um...

gin.

Tangueray, | if you got it.

O. K.

Can I use | your bathroom?

[Gargling]

[Door Opens]

[Squeak]

[Car Engine]

[Door Closes]

[Engine Starts]

How'd it go?

Great.

He just | wanted to talk.

Oh, you should've | seen his stereo.

I bet | it's worth thousands.

[Tires Screech]

[Tires Screech]

[Meow Meow]

[Meow]

[Rarrr]

[Meow]

[Meowing]

[Meowing]

[Meowing]

[Rarrr]

Oh!

Pay attention.

Number six.

I've got to | talk to you.

I've got to | tell you something.

About four hours later, | they started to leave.

Whatever had happened

had stopped happening.

And then, | when I was cleaning up,

I found this | in some milk.

Milk.

You get it?

I mean, | cats like milk.

Yeah?

Well, the Gypsy said | when you speak, right?

So, maybe it has something | to do with sound.

I mean, after all, | you scratch a blackboard,

and it drives you | up the wall.

Maybe there's | a sound that...

you know, drives you up | another wall.

You don't | believe me?

No. I'd... I'd like | to believe you.

What do you | want from me?

Now, | are... are you sure?

Are you | absolutely positive?

I'm positive.

Nothing to worry about.

It's a... | It's a salt.

It's a condensed | liquid salt.

You want me | to take it?

No.

O. K.

[Aah-Aah-Aah-Aah]

[Aah-Aah-Aah]

Didn't sound | unusual to me.

How'd it sound | to you?

Well, I... I mean, | I... I wouldn't know.

Is that an unusual sound | for a chimp?

No.

[Crash]

That... That's Romeo.

He's trying to break | through the wall!

What's he | trying to do?

[Banging]

He's breaking | through the wall!

No, no, no. Don't.

He'll rip | your arm off.

Don't. Don't.

Well, I...

[Banging]

Is he dead?

No.

He's asleep.

After weeks of testing,

we discovered | how it works.

When swallowed, it affects | the vocal cords directly,

so when you speak,

microtremors encoded | within your voice

stimulate | tiny little hairs

in the inner ear | of the opposite sex.

The vibration sends | a signal to the brain,

which, in turn, | produces a combination

of mood-altering | endogenous chemicals

responsible for | the biochemical process

of feeling in love.

We also discovered | that, one...

It made members | of the same sex hostile.

Two...

It had to be diluted.

Full strength | was far too strong.

And three...

It would only work | for four hours at a time.

The next logical step | was to test it on humans,

but who?

We felt a deep | moral obligation to mankind

to make sure this | potentially dangerous drug

didn't fall into | the wrong hands,

but where could we find | test subjects we could trust?

Th-this is | scientifcally unorthodox,

but...

perhaps we could | both take samples

and test it ourselves in | a real-world environment.

I mean, Diane, | we're both...

prudent and... and | responsible people.

So, for the sake | of all mankind,

we divided up the remainder | of the potion

and agreed not to speak | for three weeks.

[Engine Rattling]

[Engine Backfres]

Can I see your driver's license, | your registration,

your proof of | insurance, please?

[Clears Throat]

Let's just...

let this go | with a warning.

Thank you.

Heh heh.

I... I get off | in... in about an hour...

and, uh...

I was... I was | wondering...

could we | maybe...

have a drink?

I don't think so.

Insurance | has been canceled.

" R. T. Moreno. "

Hi.

Can I help you?

?I need a man ? ?I need a man ? ?I need a man ? ?I need a man

?YMCA ? ?It's fun to stay at the ? ?YMCA, yeah ? ?They have everything... ? Excuse me.

Who would be | Ms. Moreno's supervisor?

[Village People] | ?YMCA ? ?It's fun to stay at the ? ?YMCA... ? Uh...

?YMCA...

That would be, um...

the district manager...

Dick Webster.

Dick.

Three tickets. Oh, my.

You didn't kill anybody, | did you?

No.

Good.

Bill... Dick Webster.

I have a cancellation | I want reversed.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, it is | very beautiful, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Dino!

[Speaking Italian]

Si, | signore.

Has anybody | ever told you

how beautiful | you are?

No.

Nobody in their right mind.

Excuse me, please.

I have met beautiful | women before...

many | beautiful women...

but you...

you are the most | beautiful woman

I have ever seen | in my life.

I know this | sounds ridiculous,

but do you believe in | love at first sight?

Bravo!

La via!

I want you | to have this.

I can't.

Please, indulge me. | Take it.

I don't feel | this way very often,

and I would like | you to have this.

Oh!

This is your car?

This is an | Alta Pazzoli.

I know.

I am Enrico Pazzoli.

I own the company | that manufactures this car.

[Car Doesn't Start]

Thank you.

The governor is giving | a little party this evening.

I have nobody | to accompany me.

Would you please | come with me?

I... I really | don't think so.

Why? Are you married?

No, no.

You are engaged? | You have a fiance?

No, no.

A lover? | A boyfriend?

Um... no.

A girlfriend?

No!

Then, uh, your | grandmother is sick,

and you must | stay with her?

She's dead.

I'm sorry.

It's O. K. | She died 20 years ago.

Then why don't you | come with me?

[Knock On Door]

Buona sera.

Is something wrong?

You're wearing a tuxedo.

Oh, of course.

The party's | a formal affair.

Didn't I | tell you?

No.

Ohh... | I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

But we have | plenty of time.

Please, | put on a gown.

I will be happy | to wait.

I don't own a gown.

Royalty usually arrives | after the guests.

However, Prince Geoffrey didn't | want to miss meeting any of the girls.

It is all right.

Don't be afraid.

You look, uh...

maravigliosa.

And in the alpha males, | seratonin receptor levels

were found to be | up-regulated,

and cetohybridization | has shown

that they will co-localize | with dopamine.

- Well! | - Hmm! | - Oh!

What's the difference between | ignorance and indifference?

I don't know, | and I don't care.

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