Love Punch Page #8

- Nice girl, passionate.

- Oh, I do hope she'll be all right.

Oh, a headstrong girl

like her, she'll be fine.

We're gonna have to swim

out of here. You know that?

- We'll be sitting ducks.

- Yeah, well, do you have a better idea?

I know a man with a boat.

- You do?

- Yeah.

- Online?

- Yes, Richard, online.

You chat, you get to know each other, and you

agree to meet up, if you like each other.

- But you've never met him?

- No, not yet.

So you don't even know

if you'll like him.

Well, he's 57. He lives in Paris

and has house and a boat in the

south of France. What's not to like?

Good heavens, Kate!

How shallow you've become.

That must be the captain.

Bonjour, Kate.

It's me, Jean-Baptiste.

Bloody hell!

You know, I'm twice your age.

What can I say? I like older women.

Why lie on your profile?

I want women to see me as a mature man.

Otherwise, I feel like a total clich, you know?

Young, rich, handsome, with a

speedboat... So terribly predictable.

He's your lover?

Ex-lover.

But you still have

some feelings for him?

I don't know.

It's not good to look back.

No, you're right.

- It can make you feel a bit sick.

- Oh.

Shall we head back?

- Well, actually...

- We are going out.

- Oh, really? Out?

- Yes, on a date.

- Well, not a date. Not...

- Yes, a date.

But what about the, er...

...diamond?

You can handle that, can't you?

Are you telling me you don't

want to see this through now?

No, I... Well, I think so. I mean,

can't you deal with it on your own?

I'll meet you at the

rendezvous in Paris.

Right.

Right, I see. Well...

I suppose I did start all this for a

reason and the reason was for the...

for the people, for...

for Doreen, for...

Right, I'll be off, then.

- You take good care of her.

- I will.

So, first of all, we have

some champagne at my villa.

OK. It's a bit early,

isn't it, for champagne?

It's never too early for champagne.

It's always too late.

Ah!

Oh, thank goodness. You made it.

Where's Kate?

Ah, she's not here.

Where is she?

- She's with a Frenchman.

- Oh!

- What Frenchman?

- Jean-Baptiste.

You knew about him?

Oh! Oh, right. Jean-Baptiste, yeah.

Did everybody know about the

Frenchman apart from me?

But why is she meeting him?

You're back together now.

No, Pen, we're not back together.

You seemed so happy so we

just went along with it.

I suppose it was a bit

of a long shot anyway.

Probably wouldn't have

worked second time around.

Exactly.

Anyway, the diamond. Where is it?

- Ah, yeah.

- There's been a slight delay.

Yeah, but... Pen's got me

on the old prune juice.

Should get the bomb doors open.

Maybe? No, false alarm.

- Where are you going?

- Ah, good morning.

There is a robe on the chair.

- I'm so sorry about last night.

- Oh, Jean-Baptiste, it was lovely.

- Yeah, but I drunk too much and...

- It happens. You're young.

You've got much more experience

than me. That thing that you did...

Oh, thank you.

So, what would you

like to do today?

We can have some

breakfast outside or...

We can take my boat somewhere.

You can practise your French.

Ooh.

- You like this song?

- I love this song.

- Who is it?

- Free. You know...

All right now

No, I don't know this band.

No... of course you don't.

It was the linseeds that ultimately

did it, such a smooth transition.

- Well done, Jerry.

- Darling.

Amazing. Look at it.

It's beautiful. Touch it.

No, I think I'll pass, Jerry.

Thank you.

Where is this man, Diamond Dave?

Patience, my dear, patience.

- I'm sure she's coming, Richard.

- Mmm.

I don't think so, Pen.

Thanks, anyway.

I don't understand. What

is the Eye of the Rainbow?

It's a diamond that we stole.

But first we had to kidnap the Texans, scuba

to the chateau and break into a wedding.

- You stole a diamond?

- Yes.

- I'm not gonna make it.

- Yes, you will.

It's Diamond Dave.

He hasn't changed a bit.

- Don't take less than ten.

- Right you are.

- I just don't get it.

- What, my love?

How you know all these people?

- Who?

- Well, Diamond bloody Dave.

- Oh, you know, way back.

- No, I don't know, Jerry.

I don't know about Saigon or

Guam or the Foreign Legion.

- Or even Diamond bloody Dave. I really don't.

- It's all right. Calm down.

No, I won't calm down.

Who are these people, Jerry?

These contacts? All that metal

in your body? This past life?

I thought I knew you.

I thought we were the same.

Oh, Pen.

I'm more than the sum of my parts.

- What does that mean?

- I've got no idea.

But what I do know

is that I love you.

Always have, always will. OK?

- OK.

- Yeah!

- Got 15.

- Bloody hell.

You can literally go anywhere

from here, can't you?

Well, we've got a

briefcase full of cash.

Penelope!

There's one back to

London in 50 minutes.

No, I don't think we

should get that one.

- Kate!

- Hey-hey!

Listen, what do you think about...

I don't know, maybe doing a bit of

travelling before we head home?

Travelling?

- Well...

- Stupid idea, right?

Yes.

A crazy... daft... stupid...

but brilliant idea.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Why the hell not?

- What have we got to lose?

- Apart from our dignity?

Either way, it's

worth investigating.

Definitely. Let's investigate.

Would you see that the

relevant people get this?

It would be an honour, my friend.

I've, er... taken a bit out. You can

stash the rest under the mattress.

Don't worry, old pal. We've got a

safe house built under the stairs.

- We do?

- Yeah.

Bon voyage, my old friends.

- I'll feed the cat.

- Oh, thank you.

- Look after yourselves.

- We will.

Thank you.

- Come along, Jerry.

- Be very, very naughty.

- It's is very heavy, Jerry.

- Hey-hey!

- Come on, my love.

- I say...

Oh... yes.

Merci.

Come on.

Come on!

Oh, yay!

Right. Yay!

Hey-hey-hey!

Not an easy place to be

Not a simple space to feel free

In my arms

Oh, in my arms...

So, what next? Hmm?

A wander around the Marais?

Hmm, that would be nice.

But... I was thinking of something

a little more adventurous.

Adventurous? Marvellous.

When are we leaving?

What about right now?

OK?

You see, I...

I know a man.

I know a man with a boat.

- Oh, you do, do you?

- Yes.

Yes? What?

Where? No! This?

Oh, my God! She's beautiful.

- Kate, you did it. You did it!

- I did it!

- You bought us a boat!

- I did it!

Don't fall in. Don't

fall in the Seine.

Oh, my God, she's gorgeous!

She is gorgeous. You are gorgeous!

I love you!

Keep it on the recent

Keep it on the now

Gimme an easy way out

Not an easy place to be

In my arms

Oh, in my arms

Not much to feel from me

In my arms

Oh, in my arms

In my arms

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