Loves Her Gun Page #6

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right now.

What was up with Zoe?

I don't know.

It's not my responsibility

though.

- Right?

- No.

No. I don't know what her

problem was.

Maybe she'll just

forget about it.

She was probably drunk or

something.

You're a great dancer.

Well, Ricardo...

was a good teacher.

Oh my gosh. At least the breeze

is waking me up.

I was getting so drunk.

- Oh, hey.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Good. How are you?

Good. How's stretching?

It's coming along.

- Gonna get some sleep.

- What's that?

Gonna get some sleep.

Yeah.

Cool. Oh, it's cool.

- Do you want your bag?

- I don't need a bag.

- Need your receipt?

- Sure.

I mean, okay. Thanks.

- All right.

- See ya. - See ya.

Okay.

- Where should I put these?

- Just put them on the deck.

Cool.

Oh my god. I'm so sorry.

It's just I can't sleep there.

And it's like...

He... I don't know.

It's just... it's so...

- Let's just get to work.

- No, no. It's okay. It's okay.

You can take a minute

if you need a minute.

I just really need another

place to stay.

I don't know what I'm doing

here.

Like I just need another

place to stay,

and he's like...

I'm on his f***in' couch,

and it's like... he's just...

I don't know.

Well...

if you don't want to stay at

Clark's house anymore,

I'm house sitting my friend's

house,

and you could stay there,

actually.

There's nobody there.

They're gone for six months.

They're in Europe.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Oh my god.

- That would be like, amazing of you, seriously.

- Would that be better?

Here's your key.

No. You can keep it.

Right here.

Right here.

Okay.

Thanks.

Don't worry about it.

No problem.

I got a car now.

Yeah.

I don't have to drive yours.

Sorry if I've been

stressful all these days.

No.

Not at all.

Are you sure you don't want

to stay here?

No, you know what? I'm gonna

help Sarah watch the cat

and stuff, so...

She's, you know, house sitting,

and so I told her

- I'd help her out.

- Okay.

Well...

I think I'm gonna go.

Okay.

Here. Give me a hug.

- And take care, please.

- All right. Bye.

- Thanks again.

- No problem.

One. You treat every gun

like it's loaded.

Okay.

Two.

You never point the gun at

anything

you don't intend to destroy.

Okay.

Never put your finger on the trigger

until you are ready to fire.

And right after you fire,

you bring your finger back up.

- Okay.

- Okay? - Okay.

Always.

The fourth thing you want to

remember,

is to always be aware of your

target,

and what is beyond it.

Okay.

You're not shooting randomly.

You know your target.

You're aiming at it.

And you're gonna fire.

- Okay?

- Okay.

So... how does that feel?

Good. Good, it feels good.

Okay.

It feels secure.

- So, put your right foot a little bit behind.

- Okay.

You feel really strong?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- My hands are in the ready position.

- Right.

I'm gonna look at my target.

I'm gonna bring my hands up.

- Strongly, okay?

- Okay.

On this gun, there are two

sights.

You're gonna line them up.

- Aim at your target.

- Okay.

And bring your finger to the

trigger position.

And you fire.

Geez! Holy sh*t.

That's amazing.

- Are you ready for your turn?

- That was scary.

- Come on.

- Yes?

All right.

All right. I can do it.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

All right. So this is how the

handoff's gonna happen.

I'm gonna slip my hand down.

And you're gonna put your hand

right where mine was.

- Okay.

- All right?

- Trigger finger straight.

- Right.

You're gonna wrap your left

fingers OVER your right.

Oh, right, right, right.

You said that before.

- Right foot behind the left.

- Yes.

Okay. You're gonna lean forward

into an aggressive stance.

Okay.

You're gonna bring your arms up.

Pick your target.

And I'm gonna tell you when to

fire. Okay?

Okay.

- You feel good?

- Yeah.

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

So fire.

One one thousand,

two one thousand.

- Okay.

- Fire.

One one thousand.

Two one thousand.

Line up your sights and fire.

Okay.

Jesus.

- That was great!

- Whoa.

- That's terrifying.

- Good.

Good, good.

That was wonderful.

So what'd you think of the

Glock?

I was...

pretty intimidated at first.

I was like... you saw how

nervous I was.

But I guess after we were out

there for a while...

I don't know.

It was kind of exciting.

But then as soon as you pull

the trigger...

It's just there's so much power

in it.

- I like the shotgun.

- Yeah?

I'm a big fan of the shotgun.

- It's a little different than a handgun, that's for sure.

- Yeah.

You know...

I was gonna ask, and it's

totally cool if you say no,

but if we're just going back

to the place,

do you think it would be weird

to have a few people over?

- Like for...

- Oh no, no.

- Just to like grill some stuff, maybe?

- Yeah, that's fine.

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah.

I hope he's not really pissed.

I haven't talked to him in a while.

So, you're gonna wow me with

your meats here?

Well, absolutely. I mean...

I'm a master.

- Oh, a master, huh?

- Yeah.

Like a master barbequer.

My younger brother is like,

this crazy insane hippie.

I slept with three girls in

one day.

- You're caddyshacking me.

- Don't f***ing...

Don't caddyshack me.

What? You want to do this now?

- Does it feel good?

- I'll pin you into submission.

MMA style, motherf***er.

MMA style!

I'm going to go...

I'll go full on Chuck Liddell

on you. Come on.

F***. Yeah.

Does it feel good?

Stop, stop.

Stop, Michael. Stop.

- Come on, man!

- Stop.

Stop.

Can I have everyone's attention

please?

So what we're going to do

is each one of you

is going to take one of these

pieces of paper here.

And on one half,

you're going to write

all the sh*t.

The awful...

sh*t...

that's happened over the last

year,

and you're just gonna write it

all right here.

All the stuff

you want to go away.

And on the other side,

you're going to write all the good

stuff that you want to happen

in the next year.

All your hopes and your dreams

and all that good stuff.

And you're gonna put it there.

And you're gonna take that

sh*t side,

and you're gonna wad it up,

and you're gonna throw it

right here in this toilet.

And then, the other side...

The good stuff, you're gonna

wad it up...

And you're gonna stick it in

Yoda here,

his back.

So much weird stuff in here.

Yeah, I know.

You look great.

Oh, thanks.

So do you.

Thank you.

I like that thing.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I like it too.

That's from my grandfather.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.

What is it?

Like a...

Horse...

Or, I don't know...

A dead guy.

What?

Yeah, it does look like that.

Let's go get some beers, huh?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- New beginnings.

- Yeah!

- New places.

- Yeah!

Salud!

Sarah.

Hey.

Oh my god.

I'm still drunk.

I can't do it.

Are you serious?

Oh, thank you so much.

You're just lucky I didn't

want to...

- How y'all doing today?

- Good.

How are you?

All right.

What can we do for you?

- She's looking for a handgun.

- Okay.

What do you want to use it for?

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