Loves Her Gun Page #5

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kill me or something.

I know it sounds like bullshit,

but it's not.

And I... I... I... I...

I just need you to be here when

you say you're gonna be here.

No, I know. I know.

I just thought sh*t was gonna be a

little different here, you know?

What do you want me to get?

Like, it's not gonna happen

again.

I promise.

- It better not.

- It's not. It's not.

It's gonna be fine.

Like, I'm gonna get that f***ing

prescription for Ambien or something,

and it's gonna be fine.

Sleeping pills are not gonna

help you.

It's like then you're gonna...

What? Be addicted to sleeping

pills.

You were scared in Brooklyn.

You're scared in Austin.

You should just get a gun.

All right. I'll get a gun.

Do you want me to get more

of those...

I'm not joking. It's Texas.

Everybody has a gun.

Hey, you guys don't sell...

You guys don't sell liquor here

in grocery stores, do you?

No, actually...

Actually, we don't.

It's a grocery, but actually...

I mean,

you can take it up there,

but they won't sell it to you

because it's...

- I'm sorry?

- Yeah. It's after midnight.

You can't...

you can't buy alcohol.

Texas, have you been there?

Where are you from?

You can't buy beer?

- No.

- Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah. Sorry. Positive.

You can't buy beer past

midnight?

No. That's...

Where are you from?

That's Texas.

Ah, f***ing a...

- What's going on?

- What?

Sorry.

What happened?

- You all right?

- No. It's fine.

Don't worry about it.

I'm taking classes,

so I noticed...

Up here, you're a little...

Right here.

Yeah, right here.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

What's the classes about?

Well, this is where people, you

know, carry all their tension,

is right up in here.

And you noticed it?

Yeah.

What did you notice?

Just one side's bigger

than the other.

Yeah. Like this side is

totally...

Well, I just took this class

today.

I mean, we totally were dealing

with trapezoids.

Right here.

Yeah. Trapezius?

Is it trapezius?

It's not bigger.

Yeah. One of them is bigger.

Sorry.

It's a little awkward.

Well.

Feel mine.

That's okay.

Two. Three. Four.

- That does feel good.

- Five.

- Feel it? Feel it back there?

- Yeah.

That does feel really good.

You feel that stretch in there?

Feel it?

Yeah, actually.

That feels really good.

Arch your back a little more.

The small of your back.

- You feel better already.

- Yeah.

It makes my neck feel better.

I've had a hard time moving

my neck lately.

- Do you feel any pops in there?

- No.

Crap. I probably have to

get to...

Can you take me today,

you think?

Yeah, sure. Where.

Just to work.

Yeah, no problem.

At what time you need to

be there?

Soon. Probably now!

It's really stressful not

having a phone.

But it's kind of great, too.

You don't have to deal with

anybody, you know?

Yeah.

Thanks for letting me stay at

your place, Clark.

Yeah. Of course.

I won't be there too much longer

hopefully.

I'll find something else, or...

- go back to New York, depending on my apartment arrangements.

- No, it's okay.

You know?

I'm really enjoying like,

spending time with you...

and knowing you and...

It's nice.

Yeah.

Me too.

Allie.

Oh. Hey.

Got any plans tonight?

- Not really.

- Pay day!

Yay!

So I was married.

NO!

Yeah, for a long time.

For like eight years.

Holy sh*t.

- Mm hmm.

- And not anymore? - No.

- Really?

- Yeah. Not my deal.

He was like, my best friend

from high school.

It's kind of what my parents

expected.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

- That's crazy.

- Mm hmm.

Okay, wait. I have a million

questions to ask you,

but I'm going to go get a beer.

What do you want?

- Same thing.

- Stellar Bock? Okay.

All right. Be right back.

ZOE!

What are you doing here?

OH MY GOD.

Hi! What are you doing?

- Where have you been?

- I've been like...

landscaping.

That job is crazy. I'm like

exhausted, my back hurts...

- I never knew that you were landscaping. What are you doing?

- I know.

- I don't know.

- Is it fun? Do you like it?

- I do!

- You do? - Yeah.

- I'm so glad!

- I know.

I love you.

Geez, I'm sorry I haven't been

like, calling you more.

No, no, no. I'm sorry I haven't

been calling you.

- Clark just gave me a phone, so...

- Hey.

- Is Clark here? Is he...?

- No.

He's not here.

It's a long story.

Hey. Can I get

two Stellar Bocks, please?

Thanks.

I can't find my...

Well, how have you been?

Have you been having fun?

Have things been good?

I mean, tell me.

- RICARDO! Hey, how are you?

- Hey, what's going on?

- This is Ricardo. Ricardo, this is Zoe.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

He's been teaching me how to

two step.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- That's... great.

- I'll get that.

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah.

Well, well...

I mean, why isn't Clark here...

tonight?

I mean...

It's like a long story.

How do we...

Can you do it? I can't do it.

What do you mean,

"It's like a long story"?

It's just, you know,

- Yeah.

- but it kind of was like turning into that.

Yeah. No, totally.

Totally.

Sorry.

- We don't have a thing. We don't have anything.

- I'm not weird about it.

I just...

I'm not weird about it.

I'm actually... I'm gonna run

outside for a second.

Sorry.

I just need to...

- Wait, Zoe.

- No.

It's really okay.

No wait, Zoe. Zoe. Zoe.

Wait, wait, wait!

No, it's going to be okay.

But what about Clark, Allie?

He's a great guy!

And he really likes you. He's

better than that guy!

Who is that guy?

- Zoe, it's not... it's not like that.

- Teaching you to two step...

He's just... we're just dancing

and having fun.

It's fine. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, but I just...

Look, Zoe, I know, but...

Clark likes you a lot. Do you

know how amazing he is?

Do you know how much

he's done for you?

- I'm not trying...

- I know, Zoe,

It's just like... I didn't...

He's not my boyfriend.

No, I completely understand.

But I also understand that I was

just talking to Clark,

and he made it seem like...

things were going really well

with you two,

and I don't know,

I was excited about it.

- I don't know why you're so upset about it.

- I'm not so upset about it!

You're being like

one of those girls right now.

I don't...

You are! YOU ARE.

You sound like one of those

girls. He's amazing.

Then why aren't you dating him

then? I just don't understand.

If you think he's so amazing,

like why don't you guys just date?

I can't f***ing have him.

I've wanted him for

KIND OF A WHILE.

Actually, if he wanted me,

he would have me.

He doesn't. He wants you.

I... I don't know. I'm sorry.

I don't know! I don't know what

to say right now.

- I don't know what to say right now.

- Listen, it's okay. It's okay.

- And that's fine. No, go to that other thing.

- We were like on our way out.

Yeah, no.

Y'all have a good time.

Just, y'all have a good time.

- Bye. Have fun.

- Bye.

Have a really good time.

Goodnight. Goodnight, everybody.

She's all of a sudden like

freaking out

about Clark.

I just don't need this sh*t

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