Low Cost Page #2

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Children, you're ridiculous.

What'll happen now?

In all likelihood,

within 2 hours they'll slit our throats.

We know too much.

Then they'll throw us to the rats.

The rats?

Yes,

the rats.

Like when Giscard died.

Giscard's not dead.

Sure.

That's what they say.

Captain.

Check APU, check.

Speed, check.

Check... Check...

You sickos are outta your minds!

I'm saving my neck.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Where you going? You stay here.

The captain may need you.

I'm the captain.

You used to be.

After a retired pilot,

care for an ex-stewardess?

That depends. What for?

I don't get it.

That's not what I meant.

Do as you like. I'm going.

Word has it that...

That was low.

This is madness.

Clearance for takeoff, Inch'Allah.

All clear for takeoff.

Copy Ronan, Via, Alpha, Bravo...

Calling 02.

Have a good flight.

Good job.

Now follow our new steward to your seat.

We'll soon take off.

Captain Jean-Claude Bordier speaking.

Please fasten your seat belts.

We're about to fly to Paris-Beauvais.

Thank you for choosing me.

I hope you enjoy the flight.

Cabin crew, prepare for takeoff.

You little slut...

Positive VSI, suck it in, honey.

Suck it in.

This is madness.

It feels so good.

You little slut!

This feels good.

You little slut.

Missed you.

Sh*t, the mike!

Avocado-curry burrito?

Gladly.

A refreshment?

Champagne.

Sparkling wine.

No thanks.

Nothing. I'm a little...

This is the life!

Learning your book by heart?

I'm learning Arabic.

It's a fabulous language.

It's full of useful phrases.

Like, if I told you...

Isn't that nice?

It means, "How much is a liter of oil?"

It can come in handy.

What'll you do now?

Like you, go home to Paris,

look for a job.

Are there many jobless spies?

Who told you I was a spy?

You did.

Oh, right.

It's industrial espionage.

I see.

Not very glamorous.

I steal household appliance patents.

Far from James Bond.

Aren't spies supposed to be low key?

Did you invent a waffle iron

that doesn't drip?

No need to be low key with you.

You okay?

I teach high school geography

in SablA-sur-Sarthe.

I feel sort of out of place.

Relax. Just hold the chart

and jot down a few things. It'll be fine.

SablA-sur-Sarthe.

Can I ask you a favor?

If you don't mind?

Your attention,, please.

In an emergency,

there is a life vest under your seat.

Emergency exits are located forward,

in the center and aft.

Floor-level lighting will guide you

towards these exits.

Seatbelts are buckled,

adjusted and unbuckled like this.

In the event of cabin decompression,

an oxygen mask will automatically

appear in front of you.

Pull the mask towards you,

, place it over your face

and breathe normally.

Necessary remove the life vest

from under your seat and slip it on.

Buckle the strap and adjust it

Inflate the vest once outside the aircraft

by pulling on the red cord

The whistle attached to the vest

can be used as a distress signal.

In the event of an emergency landing,

move to toward the exits.

The crew is now pointing to.

Move toward the exit

without rushing

and slide down the emergency slide.

Thank you for your attention.

Maybe the guy's a phony.

Maybe he's never flown.

Too late now! Gotta deal with it.

You're the boss now, chief.

Say that again?

What?

"The boss now, chief." I like that.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Mind if we switch seats?

Why?

Mine's broken,

so I'd rather you have it.

But you told the young man

But when it's broken, I prefer 11E.

But it's my seat.

I'm going to take a micro nap.

If I sleep more than 4 minutes, wake me.

My travel poncho.

No more than 4 minutes.

To prevent jet-lag,

you have to microsleep.

Essential for me.

There's only a one-hour difference

with France.

I can't hear you. I'm wearing earplugs.

What's your name?

Nuance.

That's not a name.

You're right.

Any other ideas?

I don't know.

I like Marie-Pierre.

Marie-Pierre's not bad.

Yes, Marie-Pierre's nice, like you.

- What's yours?

- Dagobert.

I should have known.

Hear that?

What?

That sound, from headphones.

Hear it?

It doesn't bother me.

It bothers me. Drives me nuts.

Up there. Be right back.

Could you...

What?

Could you turn that off?

We hear it back there.

Sorry. I'll turn it off, then.

Thanks.

There. Thanks a lot.

What about him?

He's a midget. You understand?

I can't say anything.

What an idiot I am!

Lucky he had his headphones on.

Aren't you overdoing it a little?

- Occupied!

- Sorry.

I've been having weird dreams.

Hi.

Where are you going?

- To the toilet.

- Sit down.

What d'you expect me to do with that?

- Thanks.

- Don't mention it.

Excuse me.

- What?

- Wake up.

Are you nuts? I was sleeping.

Yeah, but you...

You jerk! For chrissakes.

You outta your mind?

She has lice!

You okay?

An air pocket.

An air current that makes planes

suddenly lose altitude.

- Are you all right?

- Not at all.

So, it's northwest, 347.

Northwest...

- Can I help you?

- Wait a sec.

The weather's bad.

They're routing us to fox-kilo-fox,

i.e. Figari-South Corsica.

I know, thanks.

But there's no shame in it.

If you need anything...

Sure, no problem. I'll let you know.

Follow your steward.

Come on, you rascal.

Check.

SablA-sur-Sarthe...

CompiAgne.

Can I help?

No, I'm fine. Why?

- Because. Actually...

- Because why?

Because why?

Because I'm little?

No, not at all.

Funny, I hadn't even noticed.

That's not it at all.

I just like to help out.

That's how I am. It's my nature.

Altruistic.

My parents were altruistic very young

and I turned out that way.

I'll go sit down.

The little man!

Man, oh man...

Man... so much turbulence!

Without warning!

You okay, sir?

Gotta sleep.

Sorry,

you went "SablA-sur-Sarthe, humpf."

Like that.

I didn't go "SablA-sur-Sarthe, humpf."

I went "SablA-sur-Sarthe."

You just did it again.

- I did not.

- Yes, you did!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Captain Bordier speaking.

Please fasten your seatbelts.

The Weather is forcing us

to land in Figari-South Corsica.

Your hand, it'll comfort me.

This is great.

Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Bordier

speaking. Welcome to France.

Boss!

We've arrived.

- Not taking off your mask?

- Sure.

- He's crying.

- I am not.

You are.

You sure are.

It happens

when I think I'm going to die.

That's not bosslike, boss.

Did I sleep long?

Yes. I tried to wake you.

Why didn't you wake me?

This is ridiculous.

I told you to wake me in 4 minutes.

It's been 45 minutes. Explain that.

This is ridiculous.

We've arrived.

It was no use getting paranoid.

We've landed,

but we haven't arrived.

The sun makes me sneeze.

Thanks. That cooled me off.

They have camels in Corsica?

Holy sh*t.

Those Corsicans are such jokers.

I'm warning you:

I'm out of burritos.

I plugged in the Figari-South Corsica

coordinates.

Way, way south.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I don't get it.

That's a shame.

Where are we?

I don't know.

I don't get it.

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