Lower Learning Page #7

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Well, that's not how I see it.

I see you as this huge success.

You know I always wanted

to be a principal,

vice or otherwise?

No, I didn't know that.

It's true.

So you should be proud of yourself.

You're a good man

when you're not acting like a total p*ssy.

You know, I had the biggest

crush on you in high school.

Why didn't you ever say anything?

Why didn't you?

Did you just inhale

spray-paint fumes?

Yeah.

Rebecca, why?

I guess I'm running away

from my own failures,

from myself.

Well, maybe you should start

running towards something

for a change.

What, is this The Hague?

Is this some sort of

international tribunal court?

Is this The Hague?

The school's totally

gonna get shut down.

Billings will give you $3

if you join his side.

They're passing out

pitchforks and napalm.

There's some sort of dirty bomb

in the teachers' lounge.

The principal's gonna put us

on lockdown.

My father's gonna go crazy

if I get killed or maimed.

This is so stupid.

Where's the goddamn locksmith?

"Save Tom.

I need you to be the man."

Why don't you be the man?

F*** this noise!

Come on, Jesse,

you don't fool me.

I know those things

are just blanks.

Remember we used to

scare the sh*t

out of the kid with a leaky bladder

with that thing?

Oh, you are gonna shoot me?

You're gonna shoot me?

What, are you gonna blow me away?

You're gonna waste me?

Okay, come on.

Put it right here, a**hole.

A real man could shoot this sh*t.

You can't.

(gunshot)

- Oh, sh*t. Jesse.

- (teacher screaming)

Oh, God.

What the f***, man?

You shot me!

Dude, it's just rock salt.

How bad is it? How bad is it?

Bro, come on. Minor surgery...

you're good as new.

It's a total outpatient thing.

(whimpering)

(teacher whimpering)

Give me one.

Give me one.

Maurice:
Hello. Hey.

Nothing to see here, guys.

Just a non-event, seriously,

a non-event.

You guys can just

be on your way

and we'll be good to go,

unless you want to grab

some pizza or something,

go bowling.

Yeah, get out of here.

You've got stuff to do.

Bingo.

Hey, Jesse.

A man has been shot.

Sir, we're losing men out there.

- Sound it.

- Sound the alarm.

- (gasps)

- Sound the alarm. Sound the alarm.

(alarm blaring)

No. No no no no,

the news vans haven't gotten here yet.

Come on, come on, come on.

That's lockdown, people.

Three more hours

to wait these a**holes out.

(kids screaming)

We'll never get out alive!

You guys are over there

and we're over here.

- Quiet!

- (all quiet down)

So this is what it's come to, huh?

Look at you all.

You traitors.

You freaks.

I built this school

with my own hands.

I pounded nails like Jesus.

I built stairways for our youth

to vibrant and rewarding lives.

And this is how you repay me?

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

Now let's stop this donnybrook

before it can start.

Lay down your weapons,

join me

and we can all break bread

as men,

or suffer wrath at my hands.

- (crowd exclaims)

- My flute!

My flute!

(spits) Stupid.

You broke that kid's flute.

That kid could play the hell

out of the flute.

What the f*** is wrong with you?

A**hole.

Everybody, Billings is right.

Let's stop this

before it starts, okay?

But I want to tell

all of you teachers a story first.

This morning a little girl came to me

with gravy all over her head.

Hey there, Adelle.

She came to me for help.

And you know what?

I saw her as a burden.

Yeah.

And that sort of thing

is happening too much around here,

from me, from the rest of you,

and yes, from our principal.

Have we forgotten about

our school namesake,

Miss Geraldine Ferraro,

one-time female

vice-presidential candidate

for America?

There's a lesson there, I think.

Too many of us have forgotten

why we got into teaching in the first place.

Too many of us are focused

on our pensions and our tenures

instead of the most important thing...

the kids.

Don't we want to fight

for anything anymore?

Are we just gonna

sit back and watch

while other people use fear

and money as a weapon?

I say we stand up for the most

important weapon there is...

knowledge.

Knowledge?

How is knowledge

better than fear and money?

Knowledge is power!

Oh, really, little boy?

Well, what if I took a gun

and I shot your dad in the face?

Hmm? Where's the power then?

Is the quadratic equation

gonna save him?

No no, I doubt it,

because you know what?

His brains are splattered

all over your mom,

who... guess what... I could

also shoot if I wanted to.

You can all do your peacenik

beret-wearing,

hippie bullshit dance if you want,

but soon you're gonna realize

how the real world works.

Hey! Get back here!

Get back here!

Don't slide away from me.

Hey, let's rally.

Let's rally, huh?

Buddy up, come on.

Buddy up.

Melody.

You never supported us, Harper.

And you squashed my dreams.

I wanted to be a novelist.

Oh.

Oh, well, that's a novel idea.

Why don't you sell some novelties

while you're at it?

That's not mine.

Look, I don't agree with anything

that a**hole was saying,

but it seems kind of gay

if it's just the two of us.

I gotta go.

(bicycle bell dings)

Woman:
You suck, Billings.

(all cheering)

So now what?

The school's still gonna get shut down.

What in God's name

is going on here?

Chairman Parpadelle.

Chairwoman, thank you.

Why is everyone standing around?

Thank God you're here.

Principal Billings has been

stealing money from this school.

Stealing? Really?

And where is Principal Billings?

He went to his office.

Like a whiny little b*tch!

- Okay.

- Oh...

Look, Mrs. Parpadelle,

ma'am, we know you want

to close our school,

but we have shown more spirit

in the last few hours

than we have in the last

few years.

Spirit and a dollar

will get you

a diet Sprite and a smile, son.

I've heard what you've said.

I'll speak to Principal Billings.

Something isn't right.

I can feel it.

Vice Principal,

I know someone who can help.

The past is the past, Bartlett.

We don't need to put it behind us.

It's already there.

(whispers)

Go go go.

Okay,

out of my way.

Would you please just step to the...?

- Out of my way!

- (buzzes)

Who the hell are you guys?

(buzzes)

I don't understand that move.

Aren't you guys on the same team?

All right, if you're gonna shock me

with the cattle prod, do it now.

If not, get out the goddamn way,

all right?

As of 3:
00 this afternoon

Geraldine Ferraro Elementary will cease

to be part of the school district.

- What?

- That's final. Good day.

Wait wait wait,

you can't do that.

I just did.

This school will no longer be a cancer

on our fine county.

I'd watch what you say

when you leave here.

Slander's a serious crime, Tom.

You've already screwed up

one career.

Don't make a habit of it.

Forget about this dump.

Give it up. Go home.

(tape rewinds)

- Billings's voice: $30,000.

- Parpadelle's voice: $50,000,

Harper, dear.

In light of this here disaster

it's a bargain to get me

to be quiet.

Shut that off this instant.

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