Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N. Page #3

Boy, you know something?

You're as strong as a man.

Doggone it! Watch it!

What's the matter with you?

Ow! Ow! Quit!

So here, my dear, was the dilemma.

I couldn't turn her loose.

Poor, wild thing only seemed to

have this one fixed idea in her mind.

She simply wanted to kill me.

So I had to keep her.

I'm sure you understand.

I had to keep an eye on

her for my own protection.

I sure tied myself a knot there.

There it is.

Okay, now,

no more funny stuff, huh?

There.

See? Your friend Rob no hurt.

You hungry?

Want food?

Kau-kau?

You thirsty? Want water? Drink?

Like all wild things,

I knew sooner or later

she'd respond to a

little human kindness.

Hey! Take it easy!

That's dangerous! Here

we go! Lady, watch it!

Okay. We know how to die in Kansas City.

Just make it quick.

Listen, if you don't mind my saying

so, you seem a little erratic.

Hey, what's the matter now?

Hey, what's wrong with you?

What did I do?

You live this island?

You grow up here?

Where... Where house?

Where you sleep, huh?

You come... You come across

water? You paddle on boat here?

You live other island?

You all alone?

Now we're getting somewhere.

You got a father?

Will you stay out of this, Floyd?

I'm trying to find out something.

I've been around that chimp too long.

Who is your father?

Your father fisherman?

Father fish?

Father raise coconut?

Father have trading post?

Make boats. Father make boats?

Your father's a monkey?

Father's a...

A chief, huh? Father chief! Oh, yeah.

Big chief. Yeah.

Is he a nice fella?

He not nice fella.

Him, uh, maybe cannibal?

You know, uh, cannibal.

That's good.

She says her father's a headhunter.

Why you come this island?

You... Yeah, you father.

Yeah. He say you...

You...

Marry! You marry.

Yeah. You marry,

a guy on other island?

And he's ugly. Yeah. Ugly

guy from other island.

You father,

he get bracelets,

necklaces, and...

He gets paid for this. He gets money.

You... You say no.

You say big no.

You say no.

You want to marry...

You want to marry the chimp?

You want to marry...

Tall. Tall. Big. Yeah.

Big fella that smiles a lot.

A lot of teeth.

But wait.

You father,

he send you

to seagulls.

No, send you to the... the sharks.

I got that. Yeah. But wait.

Father...

...changed his head.

Changed his mind! Father

changed his mind. Yeah?

He paddled you

to this island. Well, why?

He bring you to see...

...a big...

...Frankenstein.

No, you see the big, green giant.

Turn you into stone.

No. Kabuna. Kabuna.

- Who's Kabuna?

- Kabuna evil god of island.

Kill, kill! Big hoo! All finish up.

The big stone face

where I found you, huh?

Well, why didn't you

say... You speak English.

Oh, yes. Speak English

plenty great. Fluently.

Why keep it a secret? We wouldn't have

had to go through that other stuff.

I like other stuff.

Good game. A joy for me.

Most time I catch sad life.

Must make up good things.

You make up things, huh?

Like about your father a bad

chief and sending you here to die.

Oh, no. All true. Father all bad.

Throw all wives, noisy

daughters kau-kau to shark.

Laugh.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

- Wait. His own wives and daughters?

- Why not? Got plenty left.

- And he brought you here to die?

- Yes.

Kabuna get me. Kill, kill. Mash, mash.

I die or finish up.

Oh, for...

Just because you won't

marry some dumb cluck!

A woman should have the

right to marry whom she wants.

- Woman got what?

- Rights.

What's a matter word, " rights"?

Well, it's something women have where

I come from. They do what they want.

Father be crossing coconut,

he hear you sing out this " rights. "

Well, I'm not looking forward

to meeting your father.

- He not come along this side?

- No.

Oh, good. Heart belong

me tick-tock much better.

I don't like to knock somebody else's

family, but your father sounds like...

He not fright me.

I'll tell you something.

He fright me. Mm-hmm.

Boy, what am I gonna do with you?

Nothing can do.

Father and Kabuna work together.

Plenty smart.

Anyway, you stay here tonight.

Oh, everything's okay.

I'll sleep outside.

Everything's okay. I'm

practically married.

Wait a minute. Here, I'll

show you a picture of my girl.

There. Look at that.

Beautiful, isn't she?

Eew. Looks sick.

Where girl color go?

Well, she's what we call a blond.

They have more fun, you know.

Floyd.

Now, don't worry.

I'll leave Floyd here to guard you.

You got the picture, Floyd? I am

appointing you official protector.

Nobody, I repeat, nobody gets in here

to bother that young lady tonight.

And that includes me.

Good night.

Jane would be proud of me.

Takes character to walk away from

a beautiful native girl like that.

I guess at heart I'm just

a good, wholesome kid.

Good and wholesome, stupid kid.

Hammock doesn't look too big to me.

Don't tell me it's gonna...

Aw!

Aw, nuts!

Oh, hi, boy. Thattaboy. That's

the way to stand a watch.

What...

Cut the clowning, Floyd.

It's just me! Come...

Look, stupid,

I just wanna get a blanket

because it's raining!

I'm not going in there to stay. Come on!

Floyd, have a heart.

I'm freezing out here.

All I wanna do is get

that blanket there.

Go on, Floyd! Please!

If that isn't typical. You give a

chimp authority, he'll wanna take over.

Thanks a lot! I'd like

to put you back in orbit.

Dumb monkey.

But, after the fight was

over, we came to terms.

And so, my dear,

that's how your very

own Lt. Robin Crusoe

met his Man Friday.

Except she was a girl.

I named her "Wednesday. "

Wednesday.

Don't get the idea

she's one of those

gorgeous island girls.

Island.

She's just a plain

little thing, actually.

You write scritch-scratch a lot her?

Yes, twice a day.

- What her name?

- Who?

- Remember Jane.

- I remember Jane. Jane!

That's her name. Jane. She's

a real lovely little lady.

Dear Jane. Dear Jane.

Anyway,

the real problem isn't Wednesday.

It's Tanamashu,

that old headhunter father of hers.

Meantime, all my love.

Hurriedly, Rob.

Remember Jane. Remember Jane.

Go tell Aunt Rhody

Go tell Aunt Rhody

Go tell Aunt Rhody

she's really Uncle Fred

It's him! Tanamashu!

Wednesday! Wednesday!

Tanamashu's coming!

Your nutty father's here. Come

on. We gotta blow out of here!

Floyd, put down that silly comic book.

We'll hide in the jungle!

Wednesday, where you going?

Give me your hand.

Let's get out of here!

Floyd, come on!

I don't like the looks of this.

Well, I mean, I like the looks of it,

but I don't like the looks of it.

So?

So let's get outta here!

Come on, Floyd!

Hee-ya!

Oh, boy.

- Who are you?

- Sorry.

These are sisters-cousins belong me.

Okay, you can tell sisters and

cousins to get out of the way

if they don't want to

see an innocent man drown.

One moment. Sisters-cousins

all must run for lives!

Was all my fault.

I not go marriage with

ugly, bad snake island chief.

Father catch crazy! Father plenty cross.

Kill, kill! Big hoo!

Begin to throw all

daughters-cousins kau-kau to shark.

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