Lust for Love Page #2

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that does it for me.

- It's inside.

- Me, too.

It's all about the heart.

I'm talking about the g-spot.

- Oh, the g-spot.

- I'll keep that in mind.

And don't worry.

I won't write it down.

Oh, that one

you can tattoo to your hand.

- Boo!

- Hey.

Oh, the main symptoms

of V.T. Are... no cheating...

palpitations, light-headedness,

and...?

I think I have V.T.

I'm serious.

I think I have V.T.

I don't want to do the exam.

Will you do it for me? Please?

I will do anything.

- Anything?

- Well...

...Maybe not anything.

Hey. So, this is the guy

you've been hiding, huh?

Hi. I am Astor,

and, yes, I am the boyfriend.

- Hi, I'm Jenny.

- Hi, Jenny.

- Astor.

- Oh. Hi.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Whoa.

Sorry.

Boyfriend?

Want to come pump some iron?

Boost your testosterone?

Uh, my doctor says

I shouldn't...

got enough testosterone

as it is.

Hey, um, did Mila tell you

about my birthday party

on Saturday?

I was just telling him about

your birthday party on Saturday.

Sounds like fun.

- Cool.

- Yeah.

Yeah, it's gonna be fun.

Lucky you got out of that one.

I got her an 89.

You did her exam?

I-I could've got it in the 90s

if I just knew

my aortic stenosis.

Any of this help

with your zoology degree?

My average dropped 10% with

the extracurricular studies.

I should've played hard to get.

- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Kiss! Kiss his face!

Oh!

What?!

I was... I was gonna do it!

- I know. It's fine.

- It's not your fault.

- All right. Astor.

- Your turn, buddy.

Truth or dare?

Truth.

- What is Mila like in bed?

- Boom!

Jake, come on.

You don't have to answer that.

A taste of warm honey.

A touch to lift

the hairs on your neck.

A tongue alive

with fire and talent.

And a heart that burns

with enveloping heat.

Wow.

That's beautiful.

- Yeah.

- Well, we're in love.

Paging Dr. I am in love.

Dr. I am in love.

- He's in the honeymoon period.

- Dr... I don't...

- Look at you. Heart on your sleeve.

- You're unstoppable.

If you feel it, say it, sister.

She's pretty amazing. Hey,

what else do you like about her?

Uh... I love the way

she looks on my bed.

- I love the noises she makes.

- Astor.

No, the noise... the noises

she makes when she sleeps.

She's the one.

I never wanted anyone else.

Okay, I-I think it's your turn,

Astor.

I'm sure everybody else

has stories to share, right?

Yeah, who do you choose?

I choose... Mila.

Truth or dare?

Anything but truth.

So, that's how

she got frostbite.

I thought it was a myth.

I thought

I was letting her off the hook.

I mean, who knew licking

a freezer could be so dangerous.

She couldn't even

kiss after that.

Is she a good kisser?

She's got a fiery tongue.

But when I said that,

I was actually talking about

her propensity for anger.

Oh.

I feel like I'm in junior high

dating a 15-year-old

swimming-pool lifeguard.

Surprised he didn't

give me a hickey.

I think he's cute.

I can't be with someone who's

still learning how to undo a bra

and confuses honeymoon period

with love.

I mean, I-I need someone

who understands women.

You could teach him.

And be his tricycle while he

learns how to ride a bicycle?

No, thank you.

Look, he'll settle

into the relationship.

He keeps giving me flowers

and more flowers.

They're always tulips.

They're not even fragrant.

I love tulips.

- I-I'm serious.

- I am... I'm done dating boys.

I want a man who has a choice

in women and picks me.

Look, I think

you found someone unique, okay?

- Yeah, uniquely inexperienced.

- Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Have you ever been in love?

I'm not the kind of girl

that falls in love.

You've had your heart broken,

too.

He must've been

a pretty special guy.

Nice try.

You know you might not

be able to win Mila back.

It's worth a shot.

You're gonna take some hits.

Hit me, b*tch.

I won't be the one hitting you,

and you won't be

calling me b*tch.

Biatch! Ow!

- You got to be strong, okay?

- Water off a duck's back.

That's gonna be your motto.

Water off a duck's back.

Please don't make me

try that line again.

- The line worked on me.

- I went home with the guy.

Yeah, a handsome guy, I'm sure.

- That's not the point.

- It was his delivery.

How did I become

your Guinea pig?

- I bought you in a pet shop.

- Chose you for your soft coat.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Sensitive. Sensitive.

Now get Guinea-pigging.

What about her?

You can try him if you like.

Oh, come on.

That girl there.

She's perfect.

Water off a duck's back.

Hi. Sorry, I...

I saw you outside before,

and I think you dropped this.

Uh...

That is definitely not mine.

- Oh, Jesus.

- That's embarrassing.

I'm...

- Did you say "Jesus"?

- Uh-huh.

I'm Roman catholic,

and I don't believe in

taking the lord's name in vain,

and I certainly don't believe

in sex before marriage.

"Purity."

Well, it's always a good idea

to keep safe.

Stop the spread of STDs.

I'm Roman catholic.

Right.

I might go...

Confess my sins.

What are your sins?

Monogamy, mahogany,

general misuse of wood.

You should definitely

keep that to yourself.

You're not gonna even

finish your drink?

How did that line

ever work on you?

It was my condom

that I dropped deliberately.

I wanted the guy.

- I told you it'd never work.

- Okay, fine.

But your improvising now,

and you've been knocked back

three times tonight

without even realizing.

Didn't we do this lesson

already?

Yes, but it's the most

important lesson.

You can't be phased

by a rejection.

Okay. Okay. I got it.

- Wait.

- You can't be phased by anything.

You know the number-one reason

a girl knocks back a guy?

- Wrong line?

- Nerves.

I'm trying to hide my nerves.

Her nerves. A rejection's

often not really a rejection.

It's just a girl being shy,

awkward. Got to ride it out.

Sail the storm

to calmer waters.

- Exactly.

- Keep the conversation going

until it actually

becomes a conversation

and not just a pickup line.

Okay, so you're saying I should've

kept talking to mother Mary?

Yeah, well,

she had a chastity ring on.

I think you gave her

enough time.

She would've spread her legs

eventually but not for a few months.

Charming.

You will be.

Okay. Give me a real technique.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Hey.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me.

I, uh...

Hi.

Ooh.

Hi.

Hey, ladies. Drinks for you

courtesy of this guy over here.

- Hey there.

- Hey.

How's it going?

- Hi.

- Cheers.

Cheers.

I love Asian girls.

All right.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Hey, wait! Come on!

Pardon my French,

but offering to buy girls

drinks... it's f***ed.

Well, I can't teach you how

to be a player in one night.

- I-I agree with that.

- Hey.

Yeah.

Sure. Sure.

Oh.

Come on.

Yeah... okay.

Yeah, it works.

It's good. Simple.

Let me see

if I got every step right.

Grab and pull.

Shall we call it

the modified cave man?

Sorry.

Uh, wait.

Dancing.

Oh.

Morning, sunshine.

Mm.

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