Lust for Love Page #5

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- I'm an addict.

You recommend cold Turkey

or weaning?

Um, maybe desensitizing.

Ow! Come on, man! Ah!

How'd you mean it, then? Hmm?

I hope he makes you happy.

I meant it as I said it.

I wasn't being sarcastic.

Sounds sarcastic to me.

I would never use

such a low form of wit.

- You're using it now.

- He's using it now, isn't he?

- Hey! Hey!

- I respect you too much for that.

You sarcastic bastard!

Stop playing games, Astor.

Okay. Okay.

From the bottom of my heart,

I'm sorry I headbutted you

with my eye socket.

God, I could not hate you more.

- Now who's being sarcastic?

- You butthead!

- You love me, don't you?

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Okay. All right. Hey!

- Settle down.

And you. What are you doing?

I'm sorry I called you easy.

You're definitely not easy.

I was hurt,

and it made me nasty.

- He uses sarcasm.

- Just... you drive.

Hey.

I'll try not to get my finger

stuck in your ring this time.

What?

- Your key ring.

- Your little... I'm sorry.

That... that did not

come out right... At all.

I'm sorry.

How's your apartment

coming along?

Do you spy on

all of your neighbors, or...

Only the cute ones.

Let's hope

I'm not included in that.

Not anymore.

Hi.

You didn't

have to bring these back.

- They're not my size.

- Yeah.

Um, you should go.

Jake's inside.

You should really

talk to Cali again.

- Why? She's still angry at me.

- She's not gonna forgive me.

What's the point

of talking to her?

I can be there.

You know, you should just go,

Astor.

Okay.

Oh, hi.

Yeah.

What's this?

It's just... okay.

You had this?

Well, she left it at my place

by the bed... under it, really.

It was weeks ago, Jake.

The idea that Mila dropped

her drawers in front of you

makes me want to upchuck

in my mouth.

- Go right ahead.

- Just get out of the way.

- Jake. Jake! Jake! Jake!

- Hey, stop! Jake!

He's strangling me!

Stop!

Astor.

- I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry.

Jake? Jake?

- What did you do to him?

- What did you do?

Jake?

It's a myocardial infarction.

- A heart attack?

- He's only 28 years old.

No, he's got to

go to the hospital.

- I'm okay!

- He's okay.

- Oh!

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Baby. Baby.

- Do you have insurance?

- I'm okay. I'm okay.

- Are you sure?

Chest pains, dysemia, high-stress

individual, probable steroid usage.

- A textbook scenario.

- Get him out of here!

He needs to see a doctor.

- We're doctors.

- We can handle this.

You're med students, and your

grades aren't that good.

Just leave, Astor.

- Okay. We're gonna be okay.

- Okay? Just... yeah.

- You ready?

- Left here?

- Yes.

- Left here?

- Yes, right here... left.

I can't believe

there's a hospital around here.

It's a very residential

neighborhood.

Oh, my God,

I'm stuck behind a grandmother.

Move! Get out of the way!

- He's barely even breathing.

- Could you just hurry up?

Do you even know

where you're going, Astor?

- No. Not... not really.

- What?!

- I mean, I have an idea.

- I have a general idea.

- Give me your phone.

- Okay. Okay. Okay.

- Just take the phone.

- He's really not good.

- Take the phone. Look it up.

- What?

Look up where the hospital is.

You probably

should've sat up front.

Three Miles ahead. It should be

on your right-hand side.

Are you sure

that's the closest?

- That's all we ha...

- Where do you want to go?

Just a free clinic?

God, this guy

is just riding me.

Put your brakes on

if he's riding you.

Make him crash into you.

I hate people who do that.

Well, we have somewhere to be.

Oh.

Already?

Yeah.

- Are you kidding me?

- Yeah.

You okay?

Yeah.

Blood flow's back to normal.

I...Might be ready to go again

in a couple minutes.

Have you said thank you

to Astor yet?

I will.

I'm just not looking forward

to it.

Well, he probably

saved your life, so...

I know. I know.

He's just gonna be so smug.

Why are you so happy

with yourself?

Do I need a reason?

Mm.

You could've

let Milas boyfriend die.

Then at least

she'd be available.

It was a toss up.

Impress her by being the hero

or let the opposition

annihilate himself.

Yeah. You probably

made the right choice.

Did you set this up?

I want you to be friends again.

Astor.

Just give it a shot, okay?

Can we just try, Cali?

I guess.

Thank you.

Let's all just promise

that we're gonna be mature

about this, okay?

So...

You walked in on Mila with

William James, is that right?

Not exactly.

So, you didn't

see them together,

but you knew

that they'd been together.

No. I was there.

Oh, you were hiding?

No.

William James and I

invited Mila to join us.

Where? I mean, I don't...

In your bed?

Like a...

like a... A... Mnage trois?

- Like a three...

- I'm really sorry.

I wish it'd never happened.

I guess

it wasn't really cheating,

but it was enough to end it.

Three years with one guy.

I actually thought I loved him.

How...

Okay, I think...

I think it's important that

we understand how this happened.

How did W.J. Instigate this?

Well, he knew

Mila and I were close.

He asked me

if I'd ever been with a woman,

if I'd ever thought about it,

if Mila and I had ever kissed,

and it grew from there.

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

I just wanted to

make him happy.

- Oh, you probably did...

- I'm guessing.

I don't... I'm gue... you know.

I-I thought it was something

you both wanted.

I obviously made a huge mistake,

and I'm sorry.

Me, too.

But how did it work?

Uh... I mean,

I-I-I-I've had a... Mnage un.

- A lot... a lot of the time.

- A lot of times.

But a mnage trois?

Just more people.

Hey, I thought maybe

it was time for that drink.

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Come on in.

Yeah. Thanks.

This is a really nice place.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, uh, make yourself at home.

Sure.

So, uh, do you have any lemons

for the...

Uh, no.

No, I'm sorry.

Straight. It's how I do it.

Cheers.

Ah.

Just... Hello?

You don't need my advice.

- Uh, yes.

- I'd like to order a half-dozen.

Astor, if she's there with you,

it means she likes you.

Okay, how do I go about

getting more of the rump steaks?

- Put some music on.

- Get her dancing.

All right. I'll try those.

Bye.

That was my,

uh... Mail-order meat woman.

I like regular meat.

Always there.

Protein's good.

Yeah.

- Let's put on some music.

- Yes.

You want to put on some music?

Mm-hmm.

Normally, I dance by myself.

Come on, Astor. Get up.

- You mind?

- I think my head's bleeding.

Let me see.

I think it's bleeding.

Yeah. Okay.

Here. All right.

All right.

Oh, I don't see anything.

So, I guess...

Oh.

- All right, it's okay.

- Oh, yeah.

I got it. I got it. I got it.

No. No. No. No.

It's making it...

making it worse.

Here, let me just...

Voil.

What?

"You could get any girl

you want."

She said that?

This your meat lady?

I can't believe she said that.

I have to go. I'm sorry.

Can you let yourself out?

Hello?

How do I let her know

that I'm really into her?

She'll be able to tell.

- I don't think she does.

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