Lust for Love Page #4

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and I'm speaking

from a large sample size...

do not know

how to give directions.

You... Are a liar.

A charming liar,

just like everybody else.

I'll take charming.

Why does everybody lie to me?

I suppose they just

want to get in your pants.

Well, they can have my pants.

I don't want to

wear my pants anymore.

- Whoa! Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

- No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No.

You can take your pants off.

Just, let's... let me take you

home first, okay? Come on.

Everyone just wants to

take me home.

- No. No. No.

- Well, that's not what I meant.

All right, now... hey, hey, hey.

Keep your pants on.

Put me down!

- No, we're going home.

- No! I don't want to go home!

It's a time-out.

Ow! God!

- Ow!

- Oh.

Daddy, what are they doing?

Just...

All right.

You okay?

Franck?

It's Astor.

Hey.

My head hurts.

Huh.

Must... must've been

all the, uh, alcohol.

Was I really,

really embarrassing?

No. No. No. No. No.

No different

than any other child

who doesn't want to

wear their pants.

Do you want to head out

again tonight?

You sure you're up for it?

Ever heard of hair of the dog?

Yeah, but...

Did something happen

with Franck?

He went back to Paris.

When?

Mm. Should be in the air

right about now.

- He's a dog.

- He doesn't deserve you.

Let's just stay in tonight.

Hair of the dog applies

to relationships, too.

More like

hair of the one-legged dog.

I don't get it.

One-legged dog?

- I get the concept.

- What's the joke?

- Uh, I don't know.

- I'm just being silly.

Just trying to cheer you up.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Whoa.

- Oops.

- That was your fault.

I'll be in here.

So, Cali...

Cheers.

I said you could buy me a drink,

not stay and chat, so...

- Serious?

- Yeah.

Sorry, I'm waiting for someone.

Strike one.

She liked it

when I complimented her dress.

In fact, she made her dress.

She told me that

when I tried to tell her

my mom had the same one.

Oh.

Needless to say,

she knew I was pulling a line.

And your recovery?

- I-I didn't have one.

- Yeah, I kind of froze up.

Well, next time, try and push

past the awkwardness.

You know, apparently,

people have sex in this pool.

- Mm.

- Yeah. It's rancid.

Like, if you stick your head

underwater, you'll get pregnant.

Well, who's next?

That one.

Hi.

Can I just say

your heels are fantastic.

- Louis Vuittons.

- Oh. Oh. Of course.

No, no, I am familiar

with their work.

I bet you have

a huge collection.

I bet you have

a huge collection.

Oh, I don't wear high heels.

I'm not talking about heels.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, yeah, well, in that case,

I have, like...50 pairs.

But I bet you've got more.

What are you getting at?

- High... high heels.

- I bet you've got more.

I don't know.

I... I guess...

Well, you're short,

so you... The lift, and...

you're an a**hole.

Ow!

Ah. Ah.

I'm not.

I'm no... I'm not, actually.

I...

She's so much stronger

than she looks.

Well, you'll get there.

Apparently, you're supposed to

mix a compliment and an insult,

and then they get confused,

and then they're determined

to get your approval.

Apparently?

Well, I've only been explained

the technique.

I haven't actually

put it into practice.

You're scaring me.

Okay, well, look, just stay

away from anything personal.

Third time's a charm.

- Okay. Okay. All right.

- Who's the man? Who's the man?

- Go.

- Who be the player?

Yeah. You... you are.

You got to test me

now I can start

just come and hold me

take me

Aren't you

a diamond in the rough?

Are you calling my friends

rough?

- No. No. No, they...

- They are a...

Lovely pair of... Of friends.

Is this guy bothering you,

love?

He basically just said

your sisters were rough.

- Did he now?

- Is that true?

- No. I was talking about...

- Uh, no. Um...

He's been harassing girls

all night.

You again?

You know, my foot really hurts.

And no.

I'm just being friendly.

Bit of a player, are we?

- No. Definitely not.

- Absolutely not.

In fact, you can ask any...

you... ask her. No.

- Is my friend Astor drunk again?

- Let me take him home.

- Wait.

- You want to take him home?

Yeah.

Are you gonna shag him

on your sofa?

That's not necessary.

Oh, yeah? What about this?

Hey!

Oh, my God!

Well, straight to.

What are you doing?

I got in with you.

- It's freezing.

- I know.

- How's that, mate?

- You like that?

Jerk!

That wasn't necessary,

but it was worth it.

Why have we to wait

so long?

People say

we're far too young

why have we to wait so long?

People say

we're far too young

too young

I... I'm sure

a lot of amazing guys

have been able to meet you

with these techniques, but...

...they're not for me.

I feel like a phony.

- No.

- You're definitely an original.

- Then why am I learning lines?

- No more lines.

No more pretending

to be someone else.

Okay. Um, well,

you're good at improvising.

We'll work on that.

- No. No, I get flustered.

- I always say the wrong thing.

I-I-I can't think on my feet.

Hell,

I can't even stand on my feet

after that girl stomped on me.

No, I'm... I'm not giving up.

I'm gonna go forward

with honesty.

And maybe

if a girl gets to know me,

she'll still dump me like Mila,

but... I'm too tired

to be someone else.

I'm sure there's someone

out there for you.

We've been having fun together.

Yeah.

You're heartbroken over Mila.

It's tattooed

all over your face.

I like you.

But you love Mila.

No, I think, um, I think you

should go with being yourself.

It'll work.

I hope so.

Should get out

of those damp clothes.

Slip into something

more comfortable?

I'll see you soon.

Can I sit here?

You look like the kind of girl

I'd like to know,

and if you let me sit here

for a minute,

I might be able to find out.

Okay.

I'm... I'll...

Uh, hello.

- Did you...

- Did you say something?

Hello.

Well, hi.

Pleased to meet you.

Yeah. Yeah. Me...

S-so, you've lost your voice?

No. I, um, this is my voice.

Oh.

It's kind of cute.

Thanks.

A hawk.

Red-tailed hawk.

Genus Buteo.

Species Jamaicensis.

That's right.

She sounds perfect.

I dumped her last night.

What? Why?

She bored me to tears.

You actually cried, didn't you?

I've never had to

break up with anyone.

It's kind of difficult.

I sent a 194-character message.

That's two SMS messages.

But I think if you do that,

people think

you're making an effort.

Well, I never thought I'd say

it, Astor, but you're heartless.

That'd be nice.

A heart does not beat

on blood alone.

I wish I could rip my heart out

and be done with it.

Surely, there are

other blood-filled organs

that can pump blood

around the body.

I don't know

how you can say that

when you just crushed a heart

last night.

I cried for her,

and I cried for me.

Yeah, but you loved it.

You think I'm indulging?

You ever get bored

when you're sad?

- No.

- So admit it.

- You find sadness entertaining.

- I'm human.

All I'm saying is that emotions

are addictive, good or bad.

- Oh, great.

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