Lying to Be Perfect Page #2

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Well, I answered your sample questions.

...for the advice columnist in what

I believe is a biting and edgy way.

Oh, you're serious.

I wanna write...

So, write.

...here. Lory, I wanna write here.

Listen, I've been an assistant editor for

over a year. And before I came to Shine I wrote.

...articles for my college paper.

Good stuff. I can do this.

It's good to dream big.

Thank you.

Being a columnist is a very

important, very public position.

It's the face of the magazine.

Right.

You're not a face.

You are just a big

girl with a big dream.

Nice try, though.

She wants a face. I'll give her a face.

Bing!

I'm hot.

Hi, Lory.

What's wrong with Belinda?

What do you mean?

I can't get her on the

phone to discuss the book.

If she doesn't call me back I'm going

to have to fly to London tomorrow.

Is that really necessary?

This book is a huge deal. It will

launch a new division for the company.

They're dumping a load of

money into promoting it.

Book tour, TV, Oprah...

Belinda will be everywhere.

In person?

That's why they call them

"personal appearences".

I'm gonna try to

conference her in. Hold on.

No! Wait!

What's that?

Nothing.

Hello!

Belinda... Belinda, finally.

Hi. It's Lory and Nola.

Hello, Lory. Hello Nola.

I'm actually just headed...

At two in the morning?

Yes... in. Just headed in.

- Nola?

- Yeah!

Do you wanna tell her

about our promotional plans?

Is this about the book?

Yes, it is, actually, Belinda.

They want you to come out here.

Well, that's impossible. I'm in London.

So, it'a a good thing we have planes.

Yes, isn't it? You know...

I don't think I can make it.

You don't even know when it is.

Oh, when is it?

End of October.

Definitely can't.

Yeah, she's going to... Africa.

How do you know?

Yes! Africa! Nola and I have been planning

this trip for ages. It's for a charity...

...for children.

Did I mention this is launching

a whole new book division?

Goodness! Gracious me! It's two o'clock

in the morning here. I've got to go to bed.

You two work it out. I'll

talk to you later. Bye!

Nola, are you still there?

Yeah, hey.

Do you think I give a rat's

ass about her vacation plans?

You better make sure

she's here by oktober 30th.

Or?

Or you're fired. You recommended her. I

don't care if she's boosted circulation 50%.

If she blows this for me I

will destroy her... And you.

Have a good night!

I'm screwed.

Could we get that table by the

window? That's our favourite spot.

Oh, I'm really sorry.

That table's reserved.

Oh, really! I didn't know

that you could reserve tables.

Well, you can now. We're

under new management.

Chester... is it?

Well, this is Nola Devlin. She

edits Belinda Apple's column.

which I'm sure everyone

in America has read.

It's just that, you know, the first

saturday of every month we sit at that table.

And this saturday it's reserved.

Oh, God, here we go.

You wouldn't, by any chance,

not be giving us that table.

...because we are on the

zaftig side. Would you?

I don't know what you mean.

Because we're fat.

Would you like to order?

Yes. We'd like the table by the window.

Ladies, if you're not happy with the service here

there are a number of other restaurants is Princeton.

Zaftig? What are we?

Russian peasant women?

This is fat discrimination.

Sorry!

I wish I had a magic wand so

I could instantly make us thin.

Like Cinderella. Except instead of a

ball gown we've got hip bones and a waist.

Sorry, my magic wand

is in the repair shop.

Maybe it's time for a fairy godmother.

Don't do it. Don't pull her out.

Belinda Apple represents the

woman I would be if I could...

...reclaim my power and

get out of my own way.

We all need to do that.

If Belinda is so great at giving advice.

...then how come Nola works for

her and she's still such a mess?

Hey!

Honey, you're a fantastic writer but

you're editing someone else's work.

You're a wonderful woman but

there are no men in your life.

And that pizza delivery

guy... Not Prince Charming.

Come on now, listen.

Dear fabulous Belinda...

I'm tired of being

overweight, bla bla bla...

I've dieted my whole life,

and now I'm almost 250 pounds.

What should I do?

Two fifty! Wow! She should

stop weighting herself.

Dear sexy underneath it all.

I will let you in on my

deepest, darkest secret.

I used to be desperately overweight.

Finally I couldn't stand it any more.

I had to take control of my life.

Was it hard? Yes. How did I do it?

By reclaiming my power,

getting out of my own way...

...by finding a symbol to remind myself

of the person I knew I was inside.

...and by being honest with myself.

There's no way that woman was ever fat.

Let's say we follow Belindas's

example and just do it.

No, I can't, you guys. I have way

too much on my plate right now.

You're just scared of change.

I like my life. I have a good

job, a husband who loves me.

with whom I have sex once a

month. Why should I change?

But, are you happy?

I mean, completely,

utterly, every moment happy.

I'm not. I mean... Paul

loves me but I don't love me.

Every spring we take the kids

to Paul's parents in Seattle.

Kids want to go some place warm

but we don't because they know

I would never step foot on

a beach on a bathing suit.

I just wanna be with my family

doing normal family things.

Oh, come on. Don't cry.

Let's do it. Let's do what Belinda said.

...and let's become the women

we know we are inside.

You really believe in her, don't you?

Don't you?

Don't you want the person

inside of you to finally emerge?

That's a complicated question.

We've all been on diet.

But this time we'll do it together.

We're there for one another. Totally

honest and no one's off the hook.

On one condition.

In four months we go back

to the Willoughbe Cafe...

we get that table by the window and.

we shame Chester until he

is groveling at our feet.

Done.

One, we meet September

5th to humilliate Chester.

Supporting each other no

matter where and no matter what.

We can work out

together every other day.

To start.

Workout and diet. No secret stashes.

Nola, you know what I'm talking about.

And we need our symbols to

remind us of who we're gonna be.

Mine is red. When I was thin,

I wore color. Now I just...

well, I wear Eileen

Fischer versions of a burka.

Nancy wants bold proud red and

I... wanna wear bikini on the beach.

Nola?

I don't know. Can I think about it?

Can we call it something else?

Well, since Belinda is our fairy

godmother how about "the Cinderella pact"?

A toast! To change.

To friendship.

To the Cinderella pact.

Belinda would be so proud of it.

I hope so. I really do.

I can't go in there.

"Can't" is not part of

our vocabulary, okay?

Together we have strength.

We give each other confidence.

Honey, listen, nobody said this

was gonna be easy, right? We can...

We should hire a personal

trainer. Work out on our own terms.

Great idea! What do you think of that?

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