Lying to Be Perfect Page #3

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Okay.

Nola? Hey, you work out here too?

No.

No, because we already

worked out actually.

It was really intense.

We had a good one, right?

This is my friend Nancy

and this is my friend Deb.

This is Chip. He gave a

ride when Punpkin died.

Really!

I'm gonna go in. It was nice

meeting you, guys. Good to see you.

Yeah!

Oh, my God. I'm such a looser.

He is adorable!

Deb, don't get any ideas.

He is too adorable for me.

Oh, come on. He would be

lucky to have you, wouldn't he?

Absolutely.

Cinderella pact.

Well, that was exhausting.

I felt the burn.

Me too. I think I pulled

something back there.

Oh, great first day, ladies.

Keep it coming. Let's go. Punch.

Final stretch, Deb. How you doing?

Hangin' in.

All right.

Push it. Let's go.

Keep it tight, keep it tight.

Okay, 45 seconds.

Come on, Deb. Let's go!

Oh, my God! What do you

guys eat for breakfast?

Oh, Deb, they're waiting! Let's go Deb!

Go, Deb!

Yeah!

That's it. That's my goal.

Oh, Nola, it's...

Perfect.

Cincerella would be proud.

Hello!

Belinda, it's Charlotte, your agent...

who you never call back.

Hi, Charlotte. How are you, darling?

I'm sorry to call you so

late. But we really need.

...to talk about this book.

I've been getting calls from

a Lory Digrigio at Stanson.

Over twenty, to be exact.

She really needs to

schedule personal appearences.

...and a promotional tour

to launch this book.

It's part of your contract.

They really need some dates.

Do you know what? I

will check my calendar.

...and I will get back to you

with many options, okay?

No, no, Belinda. It

would be really helpful.

...if we could do this right now

while I got you on the phone...

This is... Charlotte, I have to call you

back. It's a terrible line! Bye! Bad line!

Oh! No!

Mr. Tuchman, everything's under

control. I just burned my dinner again.

Hi!

What happened?

I'm sorry. I set off the smoke

alarm again. It happens all the time.

Don't worry about a thing. There.

What's up?

I brought over something

I want you to watch.

Okay.

Gastric bypass. Miracle

answer or helpful tool.

Once you get past the black

stools and the possible death thing.

...it's actually pretty okay.

Deb, you can't be serious

about having this surgery.

Mr. Tuchman, everything's

under control. See? It stopped.

Don't hang up. It's Chip.

Chip? How did you get this number?

The company directory.

Oh, did I leave something in your track?

No, I was actually in your neighbourhood.

...and was wandering if you

wanna meet for a drink.

Meet for a drink? Meet tonight?

Yes! Yes!

Could you hold on for a second, please?

I wanna talk to you about this surgery.

I'm not having it

tomorrow. Are you nuts?

Stomach surgery DVD

or amazingly hunky guy?

All right. I got it.

Yeah, I think I could probably make it.

Where are you?

Brown's? In half hour?

Tell him you'll be there.

Half hour. I'll be there.

All right. Bye.

Oh, my God.

Don't just stand there. Let's

get you dressed. Come on.

Half an hour! What am I?

Wonder Woman? Look at me!

But you've got four hands! Come on!

Nola...

Hi!

I kind of feel really overdressed.

Excuse me. The lady will have...

A white wine spritzer.

Thank you. Right over here.

Whoa. It is a good thing I changed. I

was gonna wear the exact same outfit.

- You look nice.

- Thank you.

So, did you buy a new car yet?

I rented one. A Volvo.

- Very safe choice.

- Yeah.

But safe is not all it's cracked

up to be. Sometimes you need to step.

...outside your confort zone and

take risks to be successful.

Okay.

Another one-sided conversation I've

been having with my father for years.

So, what's his definition of success?

Someone who is hard-working,

responsible and focused.

So, you're lazy, reckless and unfocused?

That's the old me. Apparently

I was avoiding success.

It sounds to me like you

might've been avoiding failure.

Not a bad life strategy, you know.

You never try, you never fail.

Probably. It's a very

astute observation.

Yes, well...

I'm very insightful and

intuitive. It's a gift and a curse.

Really?

Yeah.

What am I thinking right now?

You're thinking that

you don't wanna tell me.

...all your secrets 'cause it'll

make you seem vulnerable.

You're right.

Never talk about my personal life.

All right. I'm gonna do

something for you here, okay?

I'm gonna tell you one

embarasing thing about me.

...so that we can be equally vulnerable.

That's only fair.

I'm a criminal. I downloaded a

movie ilegally off the Internet.

...before it came out on DVD.

So, you're in the run from the law.

Yes, you're aiding and

abetting a criminal.

Damn.

What?

That woman's just walked

out of the ladies' room.

She's sort of an old

girlfriend. Things ended badly.

Ended badly like "she went to yoga and never came

back" badly or "she boiled your pet rabbit" badly.

Go with me on this.

Well, hello. I thought you died.

Not dead. Just travelling,

busy with work and...

This is my girlfriend, Nola.

Nola?

Nola... Devlin. Hi! I'm his girlfriend.

You are beyond pathetic.

You stopped calling me because

you're dating this fat lady?

No, I stopped calling you because

we broke up six months ago.

We're over.

We're not over... Until she sings.

You know what?

Hey!

Classy, Ange. Thanks.

Nola, wait up!

No, no, no!

I'm so sorry. Angie

is a total psyco. I...

Please, can I at least walk you home?

No, obviously I can take care of myself.

What if I just walk six steps behind you? Then

if I get mugged you can step in and save me.

I'm an idiot, okay? I got caught off-guard.

I had no idea that she'd be there.

I never should've used

you like that. I'm sorry.

You know, you should be sorry.

Don't you get it?

Girls like me are easy targets

for girls like that, you know?

You should never have

put me in that position.

It was humiliating for me. And believe

me, my life is humiliating enough.

You have every right to be angry. But

I would never want to humiliate you.

I just wanna know one thing! One

thing! Why did you call me tonight?

To meet for a drink.

No. You could have called a

hundred girls just like that.

Why did you called ME?

I don't know. I... I

feel confortable with you.

I thought we could be friends.

Wow. You have a really interesting

way of making new friends, you know?

I screwed up. Come on. You've never

done something stupid you regret?

Never.

Do I really need to remind you of

the cheeseburger costume debacle?

I'm really truly sorry about tonight.

No, it's okay.

Friends?

Sure. Friends.

Okay.

So, what are your saturdays like?

Oh, well. Saturdays I... Uh... I

train with Oscar de la Hoya. Why?

Well, I wanted the chance to thank

you for protecting me against Angie.

I'm working in a new project

in L.A. For six weeks.

June 13th. Pick you up at noon?

Sure. Yeah. Noon.

- Six weeks?

- Six weeks.

- Bye

- Bye.

Who am I kidding? Hot, sexy guy

does not want ordinary zaftig me.

He wants someone like you.

Hey, girls, check this out.

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