Lying to Be Perfect Page #6

---

Yeah, but they sent Chip over to fix it.

He's standing in front of me right now...

...and believe me, he is so

not the hot guy from the gym.

No, Chip is standing in my living

room right now. He just kissed me.

Whoever kissed you isn't

Chip, the computer guy.

Well, then, who the hell is

standing in my living room?

Who are you?

I know you're not Chip.

Oh, god. Listen...

No, no, no. Are you

even in tech support?

No.

Oh, god, please tell me

you're not a serial killer.

I'm not a serial killer.

Look, you can put down the candlestick.

Who are you?

Alex Stanson.

As in Stanson Publishing "Alex Stanson"?

That would be my father, Alex senior.

So... Why did you get me

think you were computer Chip?

That day that you got in my

truck thinking I was Chip...

I... I had just come from

a meeting with my father.

My relationship with him

is... Strained at best.

And you totally turned

that day around for me.

You were unguarded, gutsy, funny,

and you were interested in me.

I didn't want to ruin it by telling

you who I was. I tell people who I am.

...and they just start acting differently.

Plus, I'm kind of in

this new phase of my life.

Your "fat girl" phase?

My "trying to be a better person" phase.

I have one last shot to prove

my worth in the family business.

You see, I quit five years ago,

and, uh, now that I've come back...

...my father put me in charge

of a new book division.

My idea.

Our first book...

Is a collection of

Belinda Apple's columns.

I am so... Achingly aware of that,

and this has just become a nightmare.

You knew I edited her columns.

Yeah.

Please go.

Look, nola...

You used me.

That... That is not true.

I mean, yes, okay, in the beginning,

I, yeah, maybe I saw an opportunity.

...to learn more about Belinda,

but then that... That changed...

...and I wanted to learn more about you.

Belinda works for you.

I work for you. Your family...

This doesn't work.

Okay? It doesn't work.

You have... Please

don't say anything else.

Just... Just go.

Alex Stanson Jr., the only

heir to the Stanson empire...

which includes magazines, newspapers,

extensive real estate holdings...

...has turned being a trust

fund playboy into an art.

He goes through women like

other men go through socks.

Devlin?

Yeah.

Do you know what this is?

Belinda Apple's contract for her book.

Do you know what should be right there?

Her signature.

The book launch party is in less

than a week. Legal is going crazy.

I sent someone from our london

office to the address Belinda gave us...

...but all she found was a post office box

with some fan mail addressed to Belinda.

I need proof of life.

What, like Belinda's severed

ear wrapped in today's newspaper?

No. Like a personal

appearance on September 5th.

If she doesn't show,

that will be my proof.

I will go talk to

Legal after lunch, okay?

Hey, nancy, are we still meeting

at the track after work? I...

I really need to talk.

Nance!

Oh! Thank god!

I get that you didn't want

to talk about it last night...

...and I'm glad that

you're still alive, but.

who the hell was the

guy in your apartment?

All right, it turns out that the

most perfect guy I've ever met.

...is the guy publishing

Belinda Apple's new book.

Alex Stanson junior.

Your "chip" is Alex Stanson? No way.

Yes. Yes, yes. Yes way.

Wow.

Oh, god. There's more.

I really liked him, a

lot. And the awful part is.

I think he really liked me.

Well, why are you talking

about this in the past-tense?

Because there can be no future-tense.

There can't be any... Tense.

Listen, I...

I need... I need to

tell you something, okay?

What?

I'm Belinda Apple.

What?

That's impossible.

You know, nine months ago,

Lori wanted an advice columnist...

...and she wouldn't give me a shot

because I didn't look the part?

All right, well, I came

up with a plan, and...

I created "Belinda Apple".

That's not a plan, that's insanity.

Yeah.

Who's the woman on the billboards?

Me, with a little Photoshop.

Does anyone else know about this?

No! It wasn't supposed to go this far.

I mean, she wasn't

supposed to become famous.

I just... I was going to write as

Belinda for a little while to prove that I

...could do it, and then I was

going to go into Lori's office and.

...tell her that she shouldn't

judge people on their jean size...

...she should be judging them

on their qualifications.

Yeah, I really wish

that you had. I mean...

You deserve that job, fat or thin. You just...

you need to believe that you deserve it.

Yeah.

Nancy, listen...

I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

Look, putting aside the fact that

one of my best friends couldn't...

wouldn't tell me about

something this important...

...putting thataside, do you

have any idea what kind of.

...a professional crap-storm

you've just rained down on me?

I'm so sorry.

Look, if I don't say

something, and this comes out...

I could be fired for knowing

about it and doing nothing.

So what are you going to do?

Nothing.

I know you.

I love you.

And you will do the right thing.

Yeah.

You know, one good thing

has come out of all of this.

What?

The Cinderella pact. You look amazing.

Yeah, I've lost another five pounds.

Oh, god. Nancy...

...how am I going to get

out of this in one piece?

Lori's coming apart at the seams.

I mean, she's got this contract she wants

Belinda to sign. You know? She's crazy!

And I can't keep stalling

her for very much longer.

Come on. we're going to figure this out.

It's Deb.

- Where?

- Shh.

Hey, Deb.

Hey. Deb, where are you?

If anything, scotch makes you happy.

Hey, guys! This is josh.

Josh, these ar the friends

I was telling you about.

Do you want a drink?

No. No, I think we're good.

I thought you weren't supposed

to drink after your surgery?

Who're you, her mother?

No, josh. Her best friend.

Come on.

Do you mind telling us

what you think you're doing?

I was just having some

fun. Is that a crime?

Okay, "fun" is a pedicure. "Fun"

is... is a great day at the beach.

A fast car is "fun"...

...not knocking back manhattans

with some random businessman.

You're married!

I know. I've been settling my whole

life. I don't want to settle anymore.

You know, it's terrifying,

but for the first time ever...

I feel like I have choices. And ain't

that why I went through the surgery?

Do you know what I did today?

I went to an assembly at my son's

school. I was so happy being there...

...just a mom sitting in the audience, not

some fat woman everyone was staring at.

Paul never showed.

Do you know why I married him?

Because I was scared no

one else would have me.

You know what's worse? He knew that!

I mean, he doesn't love me,

he just wants to control me.

Are you going to leave him?

I don't know.

What would Belinda say?

Yeah. what would Belinda say?

I think she'd tell you that you deserve better than

trolling in bars for attention from strange men.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes