Lying to Be Perfect Page #5

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lose a little weight.

Well, you look great.

Oh, thank you.

Okay. That makes it official.

This is the most fun I've ever had.

without trans-fats being involved.

Fast cars, compliments,

what could be better?

Yeah, you can't beat fast cars for fun.

...and I've definitely had my fill in

my danger-seeking irresponsible youth.

Oh!

What?

No, nothing.

All right. It's just...

You have a relationship.

with a Porsche dealership, right?

You've had a lot of fast cars.

And not that it's not a

wonderful profession but.

I didn't realize you could make so

much money fixing people's computers.

My... Uh... Family has money, not me...

You know, and I've been slacking for

a few years but I'm trying to change.

Oh, yeah. How's that

working out for you?

Well, you know, one step

forward, two steps back.

Croquet!

You play?

Oh, no, not anymore. That was part of

my danger-seeking irresponsible youth.

I don't just play. I uh... I dominate.

Really?

Mm-mm.

Mm.

Well, I guess we're uh...

going to have to see about that.

It's the last point in the match and Nola

appears to be crumbling under the pressure.

Stop stalling!

Losing to a girl would be

humiliating for the cool guy.

She should remember that he

found her her back-up fantasy car.

True. He should know

...that if she let's him win it's

only cause she took pity on him.

What is that?

What?

No!

Yes! He wins!

- No!

- Yes! I did!

- You cheated!

- No, I did not.

- He cheated!

- No.

- You guys saw that!

- I did not.

Cheat!

- Thank you, guys.

- Thanks, guys.

- That was fun.

- Yeah.

- So...

- So...

What's it like working

for Belinda Apple?

Uh... Exciting, frustrating.

Sometimes I feel like

she's taken over my life.

Mmm, sounds demanding.

More like all-consuming.

Do you ever feel like you're

uh... Living in Belinda's shadow?

You know, like no one would

ever take you seriously.

...if she weren't the name ahead of yours.

Yeah, all the time.

How'd you know?

Well, you have Belinda.

I have my father.

We're both treading water

at the same end of the pool.

Except I don't know how to swim.

Yeah, I found people will

generally tell who they are.

...the first three minutes you know

them. You just have to listen.

Well, I don't think Angie told me she

was a complete nutjob when we first met.

Sometimes you have to close you

eyes and listen between the lines.

Um, here.

Oh, thank you.

Thanks. So, thank you for

a wonderful, wonderful day.

No, thank you.

Hey, so, listen. I'm going

out of town againg for work.

...but maybe when I get back

we can get together. Dinner?

Oh, god. No need. You know,

you're totally forgiven.

...for Angie's behaviour.

You're off the hook.

Oh, this next date will have

nothing to do with Angie.

Date?

August 31st?

Oh, wow. You really like to

plan in advance, don't you?

What are you doing

Thanksgiving two years from now?

All right. Well...

Hey, you bowl?

No.

Good. We'll go bowling.

That way I can reclaim

my manhood. You in?

Sure.

All right.

Now Corporate has decided they want

elinda to write the intro to the book.

Call her in Botswana or

wherever the hell she is.

I need it next week.

I don't think Belinda wants to

be part of the book's publication.

Excuse me?

No, it's just she's only been

writing for the magazine seven months.

Maybe she thinks it's too early.

The publishing world is in serious

trouble. Magazines are folding every day.

Shine was on line-support before

Belinda started her column.

Ad-revs are up and

Mr. Stanson likes her.

If she doesn't show up to support the book

at the launch party he will be furious.

He could kill the magazine. You got it?

Go.

Hi. You're obviously the food

lady. Can I leave these with you?

Why am I obviously the food lady?

Is it because I'm not size two? Hm?

All right, let me tell you something, Sherlock.

Real women, they don't look like the women.

...you see on TV or magazine covers,

okay? So ho ahead. You tell me.

Why must I obviously be the food lady?

Because your... Uh...

your desk says you are.

Right. Sorry.

All right. I'm going to head home a little

early tonight, everybody. I kind of...

Yeah, 'cause, you know, the last ride

to Crazytown leaves, and I got shotgun.

Oh! Oh, my god!

What?

The size 18 is too big!

Oh! Okay, wait. Here, I'm going to...

...bring you some other

sizes. Maybe these will fit.

Thanks.

Okay.

Why can't Paul be excited about this?

The more weight I lose,

the angrier he gets.

I begged him to go to

counselling, but he refused.

That's no right, Deb.

What do you think Belinda

would tell me to do?

Well, I think she'd say that you

deserve to be loved unconditionaly...

...and if you're not you

should consider your options.

I know, right? It's a 14.

You know the last time I

was a size 14? High school.

Oh, my god. Deb, you're so thin.

Oh, I'm not that thin.

Oh, I've lost 37 pounds.

37 pounds? Oh, my god. I'm

just... I'm so proud of you.

Oh, I couldn't have done it

without you and Nancy and Belinda.

The Cinderella Pact rocks.

Now we need to find you something

fantastic to wear on your date.

No, no, no. I'm good.

I've got something in the back

of my closet. I can pull it out...

Okay, your brain needs to

catch up with your body.

Yeah, you need some clothes

that actually fit you.

All right. We are not

back-of-closet girls anymore.

Deb, I...

You need a new dress. Good. Here, try.

Go.

You know what? Why...

Eh, eh, eh. Do it for me. Go.

I don't need...

I don't want to hear

it, I want to see it.

Dear stuck in a rut. A date

is nothing to freak out over.

Wear something that says "I am

confident and prepared for anything"

Makeup should enhance, not

camouflage your own unique qualities.

And most importantly, be yourself.

You don't want to be with anyone

who doesn't see the real you.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Hi. Come on in.

Hey, you look great. I mean,

you know, not that, you know...

...you didn't look great before,

but you were... More...

...more...

No, I...

There's not really a graceful

way out of this, is there?

This is uncharted territory.

Come on. Um, can I...

...offer you something to drink?

I have, uh, diet root beer,

diet cola, diet ice tea, wine...

- I'll take the wine.

- Okay, great.

But only if it is diet.

Uh, make... Make yourself at home.

So, uh, wow... How long

since I've seen you, anyway?

So, that was either totally

inappropriate and awkward, or...

Or it was really spontaneous and

and nice. I mean, it was nice for me.

- It was nice, wasn't it?

- Very.

- And not at all awkward.

- No. Not at all.

- Not like this conversation.

- Right.

- Drink?

- Oh, yeah. I'd love one.

Great.

I can't seem to...

- May I?

- Yes. Please.

- Can you excuse me...

- Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I'll be right back.

Nola Devlin, girl gone wild.

Okay, don't freak out.

Nance, what's wrong?

I'm working and my computer crashed.

Oh, well, nancy, I know that's a real

bummer, and I'm sorry, but I gotta...

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