M*A*S*H Page #4

MURRHARDT:

He said anytime. Day and night, seven

days a week. The players change but

the game never stops.

HENRY:

(to Hawkeye and Duke)

You'll be living with Major Burns.

O'Reilly!

Before his name is uttered, Radar has already risen from the

enlisted men's group, and is now at Henry's side.

RADAR:

Sir?

HENRY:

Don't do that, Radar! You make me

nervous.

RADAR:

Sir?

HENRY:

Don't come so quickly when I call. I

want you to take these officers...

RADAR:

To Major Burns' tent. Yes, sir.

HENRY:

Stop that, O'Rielly!

RADAR:

Sir?

HENRY:

Oh, get out of here!

RADAR:

Yes, Colonel.

BRIEF TIME LAPSE:

EXT. / INT. "THE SWAMP" (PRESENTLY FRANK'S TENT) – DAY

Hawkeye and Duke drag their bags from the Jeep, which Radar

drives away. They look over their new residence, a standard

army tent, square with peaked roof, a wooden door attached

to the canvas. Then as they approach it, they become aware

of a youthful Korean voice reading, in heavily accented

English, words that have no meaning for the speaker.

HO-JON'S VOICE (O.S.)

'Yea, though I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death... '

DUKE:

Jesus Christ!

HAWKEYE:

One of his ancestors, I think.

HO-JON'S VOICE (O.S.)

'I shall fear no evil for Thou art

with me...'

They open the door of the tent and go in. There are three

canvas cots with sleeping bags on them, a plank floor, an

oil stove, electric light, a few crude shelves, one table

and one chair plus assorted crates serving as same.

MAJOR FRANK BURNS, 35, from Wisconsin, is sitting on one of

the two more favorably situated cots listening to HO-JON, a

Korean boy of 16, read from the Bible. He corrects the word

that has given Ho-Jon the most trouble.

FRANK:

Thou. For Thou art with me.

(sees Duke and Hawkeye,

jumps up)

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

DUKE:

What the hell's going on here?

FRANK:

This is Ho-Jon, my houseboy. Our

houseboy. I'm teaching him English.

DUKE:

Where's he gonna use that kind of

talk? 'The valley of the shadow of

death.' Wait a minute, Ho-Jon...

(rummages in barracks

bag)

I got something for you.

He takes out sex magazine, gives it to Ho-Jon in such a way

that we see the nude on the cover, but Frank doesn't.

DUKE:

(to Frank)

Little light reading matter. Just

right for his age.

HAWKEYE:

(to Duke)

Well, southern boy, I suppose you

want the sack that's convenient to

the door.

DUKE:

And gets the wind every time it opens.

No, thanks. I'll take that one.

He indicates the unoccupied cot which, like Frank's, is at

the rear of the tent with the stove between it and the front

door. Hawkeye shrugs and reaches into his barracks bag.

HAWKEYE:

Let's choose for it.

(finds baseball bat,

hands it to Duke)

You toss.

Duke tosses the bat vertically in the air. As it comes down

Hawkeye grabs it expertly at the tape with his left hand.

Duke puts his left hand above that, and Duke is left with

his right hand waving in the air with nothing to grab.

HAWKEYE:

(to Ho-Jon)

Part of your education. Always use

your own bat.

He tosses Valpac onto the desired cot.

TIME LAPSE:

INT. ADMITTING WARD – NIGHT

It's pretty full already and more wounded are being brought

in by corpsmen. In contrast to the opening scene, where the

casualties were a generalized fact seen at a distance, in

this scene they are viewed individually and at close range,

and the effect, both on the eye and the ear, is almost

unbearable. Hawkeye, in a white gown as are all the surgeons

and nurses, moves from a patient he has just examined to one

who is letting out a number of unintelligible SOUNDS mixed

in with such clear and frequently repeated words as "Christ,"

"Mother," "God damn" and "Please." As Hawkeye approaches,

Lieutenant Scorch removes enough of the bandaging done in

the field to display an abdomen with part of its contents on

the outside.

HAWKEYE:

Two-man job. How much blood has he

had?

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