Mad Money Page #4

Honey, you see

a $20 bill on the sidewalk.

Let me just ask you.

What do you do?

Do you walk away? No.

You know, I guess

it would depend

on whether or not

the sidewalk

were locked inside

a Federal bank!

Honestly! When you have spent

months cleaning their toilets,

the whole

Federal bank thing

doesn't seem like

such a great big deal.

What about the overall

system of monetary flow, hmm?

What?

You know that they print

a certain amount of money

relating to assets in

other parts of the system.

Uh-huh. Where?

I don't know, but--

Yes!

- Seriously, you could be...

you could be throwing off

the entire balance of trade.

You could be endangering the

dollar against the--the yen.

Don, I am gonna keep

doing this.

The yen is just gonna

have to take care of itself.

See, the problem is

we just don't accept

mid-semester transfers

or financial aid

students. We--

I won't be needing

financial aid.

I'm sorry?

I can pay now...

for the full year.

Oh.

I might also be inclined

to make a significant donation

to your new library...

if my sons were using it.

Well, that would...

be a different situation

now, wouldn't it?

Can I pay you in crack?

I'm just kidding with you.

Oh.

It has to be under ten.

Anything over 10,000 is

automatically reported to the IRS.

I know.

You told me.

I'm gonna keep the engine

going while you're in there.

Relax.

We're making a deposit, Don.

We already robbed the bank.

That's not even funny.

Honey, you know what?

You gotta lighten up,

or I'm gonna have to

have you whacked.

When did you even start

talking like that?

I'm kidding you.

But really, sweetie,

I'm the only person in the

whole world who thought this up.

Why can't you

be proud of me?

I have no idea

who you are anymore,

but I'm enormously

proud of you.

Really?

- Yeah!

No, you are amazing.

Really? Are you

proud of me?

Tell me again.

- You are so hot.

Oh, my God.

When was the last time

we did it in a car?

We've never done it

in the car.

It'd be so stupid

to do it in a car...

'cause we have a house.

Oh, God,

yes, we do.

We have a house.

Let's go do it

in our house.

You know what?

- What?

They got a park

right behind the bank.

Oh, that is such

a good idea! Yes!

Okay, which ones do you want me

to get the cashier's checks for?

Baby, keep that

engine running.

Shh.

# Hot change #

# Got it right

in the groove #

# And a rang-a-tang Joe #

# Is a ring-a-ding mood #

# A little racka tacka

tacka tacka run done thing #

Thanks.

# A racka tacka

tacka tacka run done thing #

# A racka tacka

tacka tacka run done thing #

# Everybody wanna

get rich right away #

# Right away,

right away, right away #

# Everybody wanna

get rich right away #

Next!

# Everybody wanna be

king for a day #

# Everybody wanna

get rich right away #

# If you wanna be rich

and you wanna be wealthy #

# I believe I'd rather

be poor and healthy #

# If you wanna be rich

and you wanna be wealthy #

# I believe I'd rather

be poor and healthy #

# A racka tacka tacka

tacka rum-dum thing #

# It's a racka tacka

tacka tacka rum-dum game #

# A racka tacka tacka

tacka rum-dum thing #

# It's a racka tacka

tacka tacka rum-dum game... #

Here's to a job

well done.

Unbelievable,

terrifying,

and thankfully

over.

Well, I think we should

keep going.

Oh, no.

Sweetheart, that'd be--

No, that's--that's

a bad idea.

Yeah. He's right.

That wasn't part of the deal.

We were supposed

to just...

you know, get what

we needed and get out.

I think we need more, right?

I could use more.

More wouldn't hurt.

No. See, don't

get greedy.

See, that's how

people get caught.

Exactly. I think we're

asking for trouble.

Don! You've worked your ass

off for 30 years and for what?

So you can see your wife

become a janitor?

And Nina?

You've spent years

standing in one spot

throwing money into

a shredder

so your boys could

have a better life,

and were they one bit

closer to their dream?

Jackie.

There must be something

that you've always

wanted to do

with your life.

Yes. I wanna see Brazil

and Czechoslovakia

and India--

Actually, there is no

Czechoslovakia.

What?

It's--it's either the Czech

Republic now or Slovakia.

Since when?

India's still there,

right?

Yes. Yes.

Absolutely.

I wanna see those places for myself.

- Yeah.

And I don't care

where we go

just as long as I don't have

to carry any more dead cows.

What's that?

Bob works for Allen

Brothers Meat Packing.

Oh. Oh.

- There you go.

Don.

- What?

Is it wrong? Is it really, really,

really terrible to want security?

Long-term financial

security?

How about long-term

maximum security?

Because that's where we're

headed if we keep doing this.

Never having

to worry again

about sickness, old age, the real

estate market, corporate fallout,

your kids in college,

and a master bath

with a walk-in closet.

What?

You almost sounded rational

there for a minute.

A walk-in closet?

We can't spend that money.

I'm sorry.

What?

You know how people

get busted?

They brag

and they flash.

You don't think it will

draw a little attention?

Three girls from the Fed start

spending money they can't explain?

I mean, if we're

gonna do this,

no big-ticket

purchases,

no lifestyle changes.

We just go slow

and be smart.

Oh, man.

I hate being smart.

When it's enough,

we all move somewhere

where nobody knows

we're not supposed to have

that kind of money.

Look, Nina, I understand that

you don't want to spend the money,

and you don't

really want sex--

Wait a minute!

I want to have sex.

I want to have sex.

Actually, if you can

come back in a minute.

It's been seven years.

I want it all day

and all night.

But while we're living

in the real world,

if we're gonna do this, we're

gonna do it right or not at all.

You don't seem

to understand.

This is my plan.

Okay. So go do your plan!

Oops. You can't, can you?

Not by yourself.

You can't tell me what to do.

Would you stop fighting?

My way or

no way at all.

Okay.

Could I try

this one on?

Of course.

Oh, my God.

How much?

That's a lot.

Not Really.

You pay for quality.

What?

- You're spending the money.

What are you

talking about?

Of course I'm not

spending the money.

No?

- No.

What's this?

Uh--

Nina, it's nothing.

That's not even real.

It's not?

- No.

Wow.

- Wait! Hey!

Good!

- No! Wait!

Nina!

That's mine, Nina!

Okay! That was hostile.

Don't spend the money.

Oh!

Sorry I'm late.

Where have you been?

It's 33-40. Here.

No! Don't!

Oh!

Oh, sh*t!

What?

- The key!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh! Oh!

Okay, where's the spare?

It's in the drain.

You didn't get

Jackie's key?

I already did the first floor.

I can't go back up.

Do you have Jackie's

cell number?

No, I never put it

in my phone.

I didn't want anything

to tie her to me.

Oh, God!

Come on!

Look, I gotta go.

My break is over.

Okay, go, go, go.

I'll figure something out.

All right, okay.

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