Madame Page #7

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stay married to our beloved wives.

The English, well, after 20

years of getting punished

in boarding schools,

fighting their

homosexual feelings,

they only have the guts

to speak to one girl.

That's it. They're

settled for life.

What do you think, Maria?

Oh, well, I am an

old fashion Spanish.

I do believe marriage is

an important matter.

So you don't lie to anyone?

Interesting.

She's adorable.

It's like you're from the

19th century or something.

Because you think women

were pure back then?

Did you ever read

a book, David?

Yes, I'm nearly finished

coloring it in.

Seriously. Vice has

been around since,

human beings themselves.

And made it an excuse

to invent virtue.

So, Anne, tell me.

How did you meet Maria?

She won't tell me.

Oh, no.

These two are very secretive

about their friendship.

I don't even

know when they met.

Why such a mystery?

I am their maid.

I have been cleaning their

underwear and their toilets.

For about, what,

ten years now, madam?

No, no. We traveled when

we were young together.

And we ate at all the

finest restaurants.

Tell me, did you eat at Alain Ducasse's

new restaurant in Italy yet, L'Andana?

Oh, my God, you must absolutely go there.

The meat is amazing.

How can you eat so much

and stay that thin?

MARIA:
She was

always like that.

She was born like that.

Beautiful. Never ages.

She's a mystery.

Thank you, darling.

When are you going

back to New York?

Soon.

Are we...

Are you leaving?

Yes.

Fun's over.

There's an investment bank

in New York I have to kill.

ANNE:
And I'm going

back to packing.

I'm taking the kids,

the staff and heading home.

But that doesn't

change your feelings?

What's a few miles

between friends.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Oh, Maria.

Do you realize what a mess we're

in because of your behavior?

I've never asked

for anything, madam.

He just...

Well, it's good

you didn't ask.

You're a housekeeper,

not a prostitute.

It's not what you

think it is, madam.

He's deeply

in love with me.

True love.

He told me.

The way he holds me

during the night.

The way he

looks at me.

Maria,

just listen to me.

Anne,

I beg you.

Don't call me Anne.

You abused my kindness.

And you lied to me.

I just did what you

asked me to do, madam.

I sat at

that table.

Because you

asked me to.

Look, I don't

want to hurt you.

I know your life is hard.

But you're playing

out of your league.

How do you know?

How can I explain this without

hurting your feelings.

This is not your world.

If your opinions were really

interesting, substantial,

if they had any impact

or real interest,

why would you be a maid?

Because I am a

Spanish immigrant.

I had no options,

madam.

Cervantes, El Bulli,

Almodovar,

Antonio Banderas.

They're all Spanish and

they're not maids, are they?

He loves me, madam.

Perhaps you should

believe in love too.

(SIGHS ANGRILY)

(MARIA SINGING IN

FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

You in love.

You sing and

you don't eat.

I eat.

Just not so much.

That's how it starts.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Filthy genius.

I read it.

- Uh, ha.

- Tell me it's true?

It's all true.

Just like the first one.

Only this time, it's not

Anne and my father.

It's Anne and the maid.

Totally cool.

And you know what?

Political.

How does it end?

Who knows?

Badly.

Join me.

David!

How are you?

Hello, Anne.

This is so funny because I wanted to

organize a double date with my friend.

Remember the pretty brunette

from our dinner party? Jane.

Oh, yeah.

I know. She can seem a little

boring at the beginning

but she's just

a little lonely.

What with her divorce

and trying to figure out

what to do with

all her millions.

I hear she's

a real tornado in bed.

(CHUCKLES)

Anne, I think you're getting me confused

with, with some sort of gigolo.

I'm just a humble academic.

I hear you have

other talents.

Maybe I could take

you out some night.

Why not, when my beloved

husband is out of town.

But in the meantime, I'll

get the details from Jane.

Maria hasn't

already told you?

Maria?

Oh, my God.

I thought that

nightmare was over.

I feel terrible.

I wanted to call you.

I just... I thought

things would end quickly.

I surprised myself

to be honest.

But what can I say.

She beguiles me.

Look. I held back because

I'm a nice person.

There's something

I have to tell you.

But should remain

between us.

Nobody should

be embarrassed.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

I'm so sorry.

It's so good

to see you.

I'll call you. Okay.

Okay.

(EXCLAIMS)

No! (GROANS)

Not too tight.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

All done.

Okay.

(GROANS SOFTLY)

No, I'm fine.

Oh, God.

(INSTUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

Hello, you've reached David Morgan.

Please leave a message.

Hi David.

It's me Maria.

Nothing.

I hope you're doing well.

I sent you a message.

I hope you received them.

And nothing...

Call me back.

Take care.

(SIGHS)

Maybe something

bad happen to him.

I don't know,

an accident.

I know what kind

of accident

happened to man

that never call back.

It's an accident

with b*obs.

But it's not possible.

He was so

in love with me.

You don't send text.

You wait.

She's right.

In French we say

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

Make him run.

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

Which means...

I don't know.

(BOB SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)

No, Bob it's not

very professional.

Quasimodo's not watching.

Quasimodo would

like this.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, Maria,

I can feel you're embarrassed

with everything that's happened

but I want you to know you're

still important in this house.

I've spoken with Bob and we're

giving you a raise for Christmas.

Thank you, madam. But it

will not be unnecessary.

Oh, nonsense.

Now will you bring tea and cake

for two in the salon, please.

Yes, madam.

(SIGHS)

(WIND BLOWING)

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

After all, you've suddenly

got all that wall space.

I was thinking if you wanted

to stick to the 17th century.

There is this.

Oh, it's stunning.

Yeah?

Oh, it really is.

But Christie's are having a sale in

London in a couple of weeks time.

You can go modern maybe

pick up a Delacroix.

- Oh, my God. It's beautiful.

- Isn't it.

I don't even

know what to say.

I have to show Bob.

Oh, is he not here?

Is he away?

He's at his

French lesson.

His accent

is hilarious. (LAUGHS)

Oh, yeah. Paris has

been great for us.

We walk like we were

when we first met.

DAVID:
Congratulations.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC

CONTINUES)

Bye, Steven.

Bye, Maria.

Take care.

Did you find

your ending?

I'm not sure yet.

You know something?

A woman I was

fond of once,

told me not to

despise people.

That people love

happy endings.

They can't fight it.

The hero runs.

He kisses her

in the rain.

People love it.

Really?

People.

(INSTUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(FRENCH SONG PLAYING)

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