Major League Page #4

and keep your voice down.

What do you see in this guy?

Well, he's stable, intelligent,

and I never found him in bed

with a stewardess.

That's because no stewardess

would have him.

Hey, wouldn't you rather be

with someone who's in demand?

Oh, God, you know, Jake,

it's just like always.

You don't take anything seriously.

Everything's a joke to you.

Oh, come on, man, for Christ's sake.

I'm just trying to loosen things up.

I'm getting frostbite here.

Tom and I

are getting married in the fall.

Oh, God, Lynn, that's crazy.

I had plans for us.

- Plans?

- Yeah.

How can you say stuff like that?

I haven't seen you in three years.

You never even wrote me a letter.

Well, I'm sorry about that,

but I wasn't exactly proud

of my situation.

Come on, you never thought

about me at all while I was gone?

Yeah, Jake, not so loud.

What about the three nights we spent

on the beach in Veracruz?

You ever have nights like that

with Mr. Briefcase?

What about the night you had in Detroit

with Miss Fuel Injection?

Well, what was I supposed to do?

She bet me 50 bucks

she had a better body than you,

and I had to defend your honor.

Oh, what a bunch of bullshit!

I have a much better body

than she does!

She's right.

You haven't changed at all, have you?

I'm afraid I have, or I wouldn't be here.

Come on, Lynn. Don't make me do time

for things that happened years ago.

Jake, I'm sorry.

You'll just always be the little boy

who wouldn't grow up.

Lynn.

A quarter of the season's gone.

We're 15 and 24.

Seven games out of first.

That's bad. It's not bad enough.

Plus, this team is showing

signs of improvement.

I didn't think we'd win

15 games all year.

- Any ideas?

- On how we can get worse?

How about a series of fines

for good play?

Maybe a $30,000 bonus for the guy

voted least valuable player.

Maybe the problem is

we're coddling these guys too much.

Yeah.

What's with this?

We never leave from down here.

Maybe the Jetway isn't working.

Hey, this is good. This is real good.

A 757 to Milwaukee?

No, that's not your plane.

Yours is this one rolling in.

Oh, sure, now you come around.

He's not fooled.

So, the sons of Geronimo,

still suffering from propeller-lag,

are nipped by the Brewers tonight,

seven to nothing.

The only excitement for the tribe

provided by Rick Vaughn,

who set an American League record

by throwing four wild pitches

in one inning.

Hey, congratulations, Rick.

Excuse me, Mr. Vaughn?

Can I have your autograph?

Yeah, sure.

My first autograph.

Couldn't give these away

a couple of weeks ago.

I saw your record on the news.

You made their Hall of Shame.

Congratulations.

- Thanks.

- Hey, thank you.

Nice hair.

Well, you're a celebrity now, Vaughn.

Thought you had to do something good

to be a celebrity.

Not if you do it colorfully.

Call the stewardess, Vaughn.

I need one of those bags.

There aren't any stewardesses.

I wonder if there are any pilots.

So, the tribe drops

its third straight on this trip.

Six to one to the Rangers.

For the Indians, one run on,

let's see, one hit.

That's all we got, one goddamn hit?

You can't say "goddamn" on the air.

Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway.

Hey, Mort, what is Comtec at?

Buy it when it hits 34.

What?

Moby Dick? What you reading that for?

This happens to be a masterpiece

of American literature, that's why.

Lynn turned you on to that?

Yeah, a long time ago.

Well, look, if we ever get out of here,

me and the guys, we're gonna

go to a club later on tonight.

Wanna come along?

Well, I... I got some reading to do.

What, you got a test or something?

Hey, Jake, man, why don't you

just go over there and see her?

I mean, maybe she'll let you slide

on a couple of these.

Well, I would, if I knew where she lived.

That's easy.

Just tail her home from the library.

What, do you mean sit in the car

and wait for her to come out?

- That's kinda juvenile, don't you think?

- Yeah.

Jake, this isn't my place.

- Who is this, love?

- Whose is it?

Oh, Mr. Taylor, right?

I remember you from the restaurant.

Lynn's told me a lot about you.

Why don't you come in for a while?

Oh, no.

I really ought to be running along.

- Yeah, he's gotta get going.

- Yeah.

Really. Come on in for a drink.

Well...

Excuse me, everybody.

This is Jake Taylor.

Jake, Arthur and Claire Holloway.

- How do you do?

- Hi.

- Hello.

- Brent and Janice Bowden.

- How do you do?

- Hi. How are you?

Hi.

Jake is a professional baseball player.

Really?

Jake, what brings you here

this evening?

Well, I wanted to discuss

a couple of books with Lynn,

and I thought this was her place.

Well, it soon will be.

Yeah, I heard you were engaged.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

- What can I get you to drink?

- Beer will be fine.

Great. Have a seat.

- That's great.

- Yeah.

- No, thanks.

- Sir.

No.

Well, what team do you play for, Jake?

The Indians.

Here in Cleveland?

I didn't know they still had a team.

Yeah. We got uniforms and everything.

It's really great.

They're in last right now,

but hopefully moving up, eh, Jake?

I've heard baseball players make

very good salaries these days.

Well, that depends on

how good they are, I guess.

How good are you?

I make the league minimum.

He was one of the best in baseball

before he had problems with his knees.

Well, Jake, what are you gonna do

when your career's over?

I mean, you can't play baseball forever,

can you?

Something will come up.

Will it?

Well, I thought I'd go to Hawaii,

have a couple of kids who grow up

to be Olympic champions.

Really? In what event?

Swimming.

The 200-meter individual medley.

I figure it ought to be real big by then.

You got the girl picked out?

I did, but I wasn't smart enough

to hold on to her.

You used to be an athlete,

didn't you, Lynn?

Yeah.

What did you do?

200-meter individual medley.

Alternate on the '80 Olympic team.

Oh, really? Well...

Well, I better get going.

Oh, let me walk you out.

- Nice meeting all of you.

- Yeah.

- Thanks for the beer.

- Don't mention it.

I'll let you know if I land a job.

I know you're very concerned.

Yeah, well, I

just wanted Lynn to know

what she would have had ahead of her.

- Stay away from her.

- Suck my dick.

- Pepper says you wanted to see me.

- Yeah, Rick.

Come on in. Have a seat.

Rick, I'm not gonna

beat around the bush here.

You've got a great arm.

It's one of the best I've ever seen,

but your control hasn't come around

like we'd hoped it would.

Now, a lot of pitchers started off wild,

and after they worked it out

in the minors for a while,

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