Major League II Page #4

Lastyear,

I averaged 96.

Now I reach back,

and it's just not there.

I can't believe it.

I've forgotten how to throw heat.

Look...

you'll make

a few adjustments.

In a week or two,

you'll be laughing

about this.

And don't worry

about the endorsements.

It's not your E.R.A.

they're going to be worried about.

It's your image

that's important-

wholesome...

clean-cut...

All-American.

While on

the croquet lawn,

one must be careful not

to offend one's opponent

with an onset

of unwanted odor.

Oh, bully!

That's why I use

Right Guard Sport Stick,

maximum protection

against odicious,

odorophously...

olflacty manations.

Cut! Let's just cut that.

Um, it's odiously...

odiferous...

olfactory emanations.

Right.

Odoroforous...

ofolactory...

emaranations.

Odorforous...

oflactonal...

nominations.

Odoroforous...

ofiloctagyl...

emancipations.

Whoa,

boom bapa boom

Whoa,

boom bapa boom

Whoa, boom

So Weaver doubles off

the Zippo Bail Bond sign.

And that's another team record

for RickVaughn,

the fifth consecutive

extra base hit in the inning.

And he's out by an eyelash

at third.

Cerrano doing some interesting

limbering-up exercises in right.

What a pansy.

Here's a fly ball

hit to right.

Easy play for Cerrano,

under it now, and makes the-

No! That ball is off his glove

and outta here!

Well, credit Cerrano

with an RBI.

And that play could

be a finalist

in the Trojan Ends

"Boner of the Week" award.

Take 87.

And action!

Right Guard

Sport Stick.

Anything less...

would be uncivilized.

Upside down.

Upside down.

Thank you. Cut!

Hey, Rick! Is it true

you're moving to the bull pen?

Of course not.

Where do you guys

get this stuff?

Hey, Wild Thing!

Don't worry.

You're still the best.

You stunk at the beginning

of lastyear, too.

Thanks, Frankie.

We don't believe what they say

about you in the papers-

You know, that you're a fluke

and all that stuff.

And that you lost

your fastball.

And that you got

no heart.

You guys want an autograph

or something?

Yeah, that'd be great.

Hey, Nikki!

You got something

Vaughn can sign?

Hi, Rick.

Hi.

Listen, I was

real sorry to hear

they took you

out of the rotation.

It's only temporary.

You're in a slump.

You'll bounce back.

Yeah.

Well, we better get back.

Hey... Nikki!

I'm sorry I didn't call you

after last season.

It's for the best.

We've both moved on

to better things.

You seeing anybody?

Yeah, yeah.

This'll crack you up.

He's from Chicago.

Big White Sox fan.

Boy, does he hate you.

Good luck, Rick.

Thanks.

What a great woman.

She's a White Sox fan!

Such a nice personality.

I bet he loves

the idea of me

sitting out here

in the bullpen.

Really sexy, too.

I've met the woman,

Rube,

I don't need

a description, alright?

A White Sox fan.

Women...

you can't live without them,

and they can't pee standing up.

Well, fans, the Indians

about to extend

theirwinning streak to...

two!

This is it!

Vaughn's

coming out of it.

I know he's

coming out of it.

This demotion

to the bull pen

has got to have been

a wake-up call.

Ring Ring!

Rise and shine, Ricky!

This is the day

we turn it around.

Flip it over.

We're in

the top of the 9th.

Leading 10-7.

Bases loaded. 2 down.

RickVaughn has come on

to try and nail it down

against Felipe Aguilar,

a dangerous

right-handed batter.

Here's the pitch!

Oh, sh*t!

- Alright! - Hot

dog! - No, no!

If that's not Shaquille O'Neal

in left,

that baby's outta here.

Oh, no!

You rotten mugs!

You overpaid weenies!

Wild Thing,

you make my butt sting!

I detest you!

You're all garbage!

All of you!

Back up the truck!

Back it up!

Jack, being new to the club,

how do you feel about the way

things have gone

for the Indians

so far?

I'm the onlywinner

on the team.

The rest of them

are losers,

either by choice

or by birth.

You think you can help me

with my fastball, doc?

We'll have to deal

with some deeper issues first.

I don't have

any deeper issues.

I like to keep things

right on the surface.

Well, sometimes,

there are little surprises.

Tell me, Rick, what goes

through your mind

when you throw

your fastball?

I wonder if it's

going to end up

in some guy's den.

Did you used

to think this way?

I didn't used to think at all.

Takes a lot out of you.

Well, then, Rick.

Let's get down to it.

The real problem here goes back

to when you stole that car.

You wanted to be caught,

didn't you? Punished.

Otherwise,

you wouldn't have thrown

the 0-2 fastball to fields

when everybody knows

he'll chase the two-strike

curveball in the dirt.

I'd already thrown him

two curveballs

the second one he hit

436 feet foul.

Better than 520 feet fair.

Parkman.

I saw your

little interview

in this morning's paper.

You're benched

for two games.

If you ever rip

any of your teammates-

Save your breath.

What did you say?

You ought to listen

to the radio more, Lou.

Your biggest gun just got traded

to Chicago,

as a matter of fact,

your only gun.

Au revoir.

How could you sell

my best playerwithout asking me?

I'm on my ass.

I'm tapped out.

I'm not going to be able

to make next month's payroll.

Aw... jeez.

But I didn't sell

Parkman outright.

I got you

an outfielder.

He used to play

with the Giants.

Franklin?

Not those Giants.

And, so,

Hiroshi "Kamikaze" Tanaka,

recently

of the Tokyo Giants,

knocks himself cold

for the second time this week.

Maybe in Japan, that's actually better

than catching the ball.

Personally, I think he's trying

to get out of the lineup.

Om.

Pedro Cerrano.

How you doing?

Who your master?

My master?

It's the great

Hama Masasuri.

Thank you.

A ball player

must be a warrior...

not a monk!

Hyah!

Alright, you guys.

Let's listen up.

We won a gameyesterday.

If we win one today,

that's two in a row.

If we win one tomorrow,

that's called

a winning streak.

It has happened before.

So let's see some hustle!

Let's jack it up

a little.

I got a feeling things

are about to turn around for us.

Oh, my God.

Hello, boys.

You don't mind

if come in

and visit with you

for a moment, do you?

This clubhouse is off limits

to everyone

but Indian personnel.

That does include

the owner, doesn't it?

What?

I just bought the team back

this morning

at a substantial prof it.

I retained Roger here

as the general manager.

But the money really

means little to me.

I have more than enough.

This...

is more personal.

Lastyear,

by some impossible fluke...

you ruined

a beautiful dream.

Now, you're going

down in flames,

and I want to be there

when you go splat.

Keep up

the good work, gents.

Miss Phelps...

Oh.

You...

Come on, you're not going

to let her get you down, are you?

You guys won last year

just to spite her.

Maybe she's

just what we need.

Aw, Skip, theywere

a different team last year.

Taylor!

It's not your job

to make excuses.

That's all you guys

do good!

It's either a leg thing...

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