Making Mr. Right Page #5

A LOT DIFFEREN THAN I THOUGH YOU WERE. [LAUGHS]

TRISH! THANK GOD

YOU'RE THERE! LOOK,

I'M WITH MY COUSIN--

ACTUALLY, I'M NOT WITH

HIM, BUT I SHOULD BE.

YES, I HAVE A COUSIN.

HE'S IN FOR THE WEDDING.

WHO CARES IF HE'S CUTE?!

LOOK, IF BY ANY CHANCE

HE SHOWS UP THERE,

JUST KEEP HIM THERE,

WOULD YOU?

I'LL BE AT THE LAB.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN!

JUST DO IT!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

HERE YOU GO.

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE

QUITE AN APPETITE.

YES. I NEVER GET FOOD

WITH SO MANY COLORS.

WHAT DO YOU:

USUALLY EAT, JEFF?

PHENODYETHEMINE:

IN AN AMINO ACID BASE.

GUESS THAT MEANS

YOU DON'T COOK, HUH?

OW!

JEEZ!

WELL, I THINK I'VE HAD

ABOUT ENOUGH FUN

FOR ONE NIGHT.

MY CASH IS GONE,

AND MY CREDIT CARD'S

GETTING A LITTLE THIN.

WHY DON'T WE

JUST GO HOME?

COULD YOU TAKE ME?

YOU DON' HAVE YOUR CAR!

NO.

OK!

WHERE DO YOU:

WANNA GO?

FRANKIE STONE'S?

YOU'LL LIKE HER!

OH, NO, I WON'T!

[PSCHHT PSCHHT]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO?

NO. NO.

MRS. STONE IS--

MISS STONE IS NO HERE RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

[MUSICAL NOTES RING]

OH, THANK GOD

YOU'RE HERE!

MISS STONE,

MY GOD!

JEFF!

HAVEN'T YOU

ASCERTAINED BY NOW

THAT I HAVE NO DESIRE

IN PURSUING INTIMATE

RELATIONS WITH YOU?!

SORRY, JEFF.

SORRY.

[SOBBING]

THIS MAGIC MOMENT

SO DIFFEREN AND SO NEW

WILL LAST FOREVER...

WHERE IS HE?

OH, FRANKIE!

HE MUST HAVE:

BROKEN HIS NECK.

WHAT?

HE JUST FLEW OU OF CONTROL!

AND HE JERKED:

FORWARD!

IT WAS TERRIBLE!

WAIT!

WHERE IS HE?

[SOBBING]

AAH!

[BARKS]

Frankie:
TRISH!

HE WAS SO GIVING,

SO COMPASSIONATE.

HE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL

UNDERSTANDING:

OF A WOMAN'S HEAR AND NOW HE'S DEAD!

TRISH, TRISH,

CALM DOWN!

NOW, WHAT HAPPENED?

I COULDN'T HELP IT.

IT WAS THE WAY:

HE LOOKED AT ME.

HE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN

WE WERE IN:

EACH OTHER'S ARMS,

AND WE WERE MAKING LOVE,

AND IT WAS SO--

WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU WERE MAKING WHAT?!

WE WERE MAKING LOVE,

AND IT WAS:

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

I HAVE EVER FEL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

WAIT! WAIT!

WAIT A MINUTE!

WAIT A MINUTE!

HE COULD DO THAT?

WITH YOU?

WHY SHOULDN'T HE

DO THAT WITH ME?

OH, TRISH! DAMN IT!

DID YOU SHOW HIM HOW?

THIS IS GETTING:

A LITTLE SICK,

DON'T YOU THINK?

YOUR COUSIN IS DEAD

ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR!

HE WAS ON TOP OF ME,

INSIDE ME,

AND THEN HE JUS STARTED GOING CRAZY!

HIS HEAD STARTED

TWISTING OFF,

AND HE DIED!

[SOBBING]

TRISH...

TRISH, JUST HELP ME GE HIS HEAD OFF, WOULD YOU?

OHH! MY GOD!

WHAT ARE YOU:

TALKING ABOUT?!

LISTEN! I'M SORRY TO

HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT YOU DIDN'T MAKE LOVE

TO MY COUSIN.

YOU JUST MADE I WITH MY ANDROID!

[DOG WHIMPERS]

YOUR WHAT?

EWWH!

[SOBBING] EWWH!

WHAT ARE YOU:

SO HAPPY ABOUT?

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

OUT HERE, FRANKIE.

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY

ENJOYING OUR DATE.

LET'S GET ONE THING

STRAIGHT, ULYSSES.

THIS IS NO A DATE, OK?

IS THAT BECAUSE:

YOU'RE UPTIGHT?

NO, I AM NOT UPTIGHT!

AND WHO TAUGHT YOU

THAT STUPID WORD?

TRISH.

THAT FIGURES.

LOOK, ULYSSES,

I'M JUST A LITTLE

UPSET RIGHT NOW, OK?

IT'S 3:
00

IN THE MORNING,

I'M TIRED,

I HAVEN'T CHANGED

CLOTHES FOR TWO DAYS,

AND YOU'VE PROBABLY

JUST COST ME MY JOB.

I'M SORRY, FRANKIE.

[CHUCKLES] I MEAN,

WHAT A JOKE!

ME, TRYING TO TURN YOU

INTO SOMEBODY:

THAT EVERYBODY:

IN AMERICA'S SUPPOSED

TO FALL IN LOVE WITH.

FRANKIE?

WHY DO PEOPLE WAN TO FALL IN LOVE?

I DON'T KNOW,

ULYSSES.

YOU'RE ASKING

THE WRONG GIRL.

DON'T YOU WAN TO FALL IN LOVE?

YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT?

BUT, BELIEVE ME,

IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

YOU FALL IN LOVE

WITH SOME GUY,

BUT HE'S IN LOVE

WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

OR YOU THINK:

YOU'RE IN LOVE,

BUT YOU'RE NOT.

OR HE THINKS HE'S IN

LOVE, BUT HE'S NOT.

OR HE WAS IN LOVE,

BUT NOW HE'S NOT,

BUT NOW YOU ARE.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND

SO COMPLICATED.

IT IS COMPLICATED.

AND, ULYSSES,

YOU SHOULD BE GLAD

THAT YOU'RE NOT HUMAN

AND YOU DON' HAVE TO SUFFER

THROUGH THAT KIND

OF HUMILIATION.

IF I WERE HUMAN,

FRANKIE,

IT WOULD BE SIMPLE.

I WOULD BE:

IN LOVE WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW, FRANKIE,

I THOUGHT LAST NIGH WAS A LOT OF FUN,

BUT I THINK TONIGH WAS EVEN BETTER.

I'M GLAD

YOU HAD FUN.

I CERTAINLY DID.

GOOD.

NOW I WANT YOU:

TO GO IN THERE:

AND CHANGE BACK:

INTO YOUR JUMPSUIT,

AND PLEASE, ULYSSES,

DON'T SAY A WORD

ABOUT THIS EVENING

TO ANYONE, OK?

OK.

OK, GOOD.

GOOD NIGHT.

CAN I KEEP MY TUXEDO?

OK. FOR NOW.

DOES THAT MEAN I CAN

GO TO A WEDDING?

I'M SORRY, ULYSSES.

JUST GO CHANGE, OK?

GOOD NIGHT.

[BEEPING]

Ulysses:
JEFF?

WHAT?

LET'S SAY THERE'S

THIS CERTAIN PERSON

THAT YOU REALLY LIKE,

BUT THEN YOU HAVE SEX

WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

NOW...

A:
DO YOU HAVE TO

LIKE THE PERSON:

YOU HAVE SEX WITH?

B:
DO YOU HAVE TO

HAVE SEX:

WITH THE PERSON:

YOU LIKE?

C:
DO YOU HAVE TO

STOP LIKING:

THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

"D"--

D...

NONE OF THE ABOVE.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO

CHANGE YOUR PROGRAM.

BUT, JEFF,

WHAT ABOUT BABIES?

CAN I HAVE ONE?

IT IS THAT WOMAN,

ISN'T IT?

WHAT HAS SHE:

BEEN TEACHING YOU?!

SHE'S TEACHING ME

ABOUT LIFE, JEFF,

AND IT'S

VERY INTERESTING,

BUT WHAT I REALLY

NEED TO KNOW IS,

ARE LOVE AND SEX

THE SAME THING?

LOOK, ULYSSES,

I WANT YOU:

TO REMEMBER:

THAT YOU ARE:

MUCH MORE ADVANCED

THAN THAT WOMAN:

WILL EVER BE.

DO NOT LET HER DRAG

YOU DOWN TO HER LEVEL!

SHE LIVES IN:

AN EMOTIONAL SWAMP!

BUT THEN,

SO DO MOST PEOPLE!

SOME MINOR ACTIVITY

OCCURS IN THE MEDULLA,

AND--AND WHAM! THEY THINK

THEY'RE IN LOVE.

THE NEXT THING THEY KNOW,

THEY HAVE 2 CHILDREN

AND A CANINE.

AND THEN, BOOM!

SOME NEURON MISFIRES,

AND THEY'RE

DIVORCED, MISERABLE,

AND ONLY GET TO SEE

THEIR CHILDREN ON SUNDAYS.

IT IS ALL CHEMICAL,

ULYSSES,

AND IT IS ALL:

A WASTE OF TIME.

YOU WERE MADE FOR

GRANDER THINGS, PAL.

DO YOU READ ME?

LOUD AND CLEAR, JEFF.

GOOD, ULYSSES.

GOOD.

JEFF?

DO YOU THINK MISS STONE

HAS SEX APPEAL?

I DO.

BUT STEVE'S MOTHER

SAID STEVE SAID:

YOU HAD A DATE:

FOR THE WEDDING, DEAR.

Frankie:
I DON'T KNOW

WHAT STEVE'S TALKING ABOUT.

WELL, ACCORDING TO

STEVE'S MOTHER,

HE'S NOT MUCH

TO LOOK AT, BUT...

I HEARD HE WAS:

SOME SORT OF DOCTOR.

WE'RE ALL DYING

TO MEET HIM.

MOM, LOOK,

I TOLD YOU:

I'M COMING ALONE!

NOW, DARLING,

YOU ARE GONNA BE ABLE

TO DIG UP SOMEBODY,

AREN'T YOU?

NOW, YOU DON'T WANT STEVE

TO SEE YOU THERE

ALL ALONE,

DO YOU, DEAR?

MOM, THANKS

FOR THE ADVICE.

I'VE GOTTA GO.

LOOK, I'LL CALL YOU

WHEN I GET HOME, OK?

BYE.

OHH!

DR. PETERS?

HI.

HOW DID WORK:

GO TODAY?

FINE. JUST...

GREAT.

OH, GOOD.

AHEM. JEFF, UM...

I--I DON'T WAN TO SCARE YOU,

UNDERSTAND THAT, OK?

BUT COULD I ASK YOU

SOMETHING?

OK.

UM...

WELL, FOR, UH,

REASONS I CAN'T GO INTO

AND YOU DON' WANNA KNOW ABOUT,

I HAVE TO GO:

TO THIS...WEDDING,

AND I NEED A DATE,

AND YOU'D BE

THE EXACT PERFECT GUY.

NOW, THIS ISN' A PROPOSITION.

I JUST WANNA KNOW

IF YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT...

MAYBE GOING WITH ME?

A WEDDING?

UM, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT VERY GOOD

WITH PEOPLE.

OH, THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE!

THEY'RE JUST MY FAMILY.

YOU KNOW, JEFF,

YOU'VE GO REALLY NICE EYES.

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED

MAYBE WEARING CONTACTS?

GOOD NIGHT.

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