Mamaboy Page #2

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Like you'd know

what to do with it.

Oh. I was this close to

scoring with those babes

until the "Hunkins" ruined it.

Sorry to ruin

your scene, Milton.

You always ruin my scene.

You stole Mary Beth

barber from me.

Kissed her right in

front the flagpole.

Milton, that was

in kindergarten.

I mean, she kissed me.

I pushed her down.

- Get over it.

- Oh, ho, ho.

Well, the great and powerful

Kelly Hankins has spoken.

You need to take

it down a notch.

I will pull back the curtain

on you, you just wait and see.

That's one delusional hombre.

Yeah.

Attention, students.

Attention.

Go.

That's right.

You know it.

Attention.

Is this even... attention.

Hoodlum, punk, gangster.

Oh, there we go.

Good morning, students.

Good morning, principal Miller.

As many of you know, I am

Mr. Miller, the principal

here at Butterhill high.

And our dedicated

and respected staff

would like to welcome

you back to yet

another year here at

your favorite school.

And we have two new

faculty members this year.

As a result of the

brilliant investigative work

of our very own "Butterhill

bulletin" reporter,

Milton, our former

practitioner, nurse Nancy,

will not be with us,

as her ankle monitor

will not allow her within

200 feet of any school.

In her place, I am pleased

to introduce nurse Zelda.

Isn't she just foreign?

Next, a man whom words

simply cannot describe,

coach Franklin Dombrowski.

Thank you.

Oh, hey.

Very inspirational.

We look forward

to developing you

all into responsible,

mature young adults.

Settle down.

People, settle.

Settle.

And in order to start things

off on the right foot,

the school is sponsoring a

kickoff dance this Friday.

And left two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

Left, two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

Left, two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

Left two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

Left, two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

Left, two, three, four.

Right, two, three, four.

And that's our

class for the day.

I'll see you guys

net week, all right?

- Awesome class, Kelly.

- Thank you.

- See you at the dance tomorrow.

- I'll see you.

Can't wait.

Has anyone ever told you what

a sensual instructor you are?

So strong, so tight,

so many muscles?

You make my heart race even

when we're not exercising.

That's good, I guess.

So I hear your band will be

playing at the dance tomorrow?

Yeah. We've been

practicing all summer.

It's gonna be great.

Will you have any

time for dancing?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, in between songs.

It'll be fun.

Well, I'll be sure to

save a dance for you,

and much, much more.

Mm, mm, mm, mm.

Spider bait.

Yeah, well, she's

gonna to starve to death.

Hey, no comprendo, Ace.

What are you waiting on?

Board that ship

before she sets sail.

Ditto, can keep a secret?

What? The king of conceal?

They would poke my eyes out

with toothpicks before I

would give you up, man.

Spill it.

Lisa and I are, uh,

we're more than friends.

More?

Yeah.

How much more?

We're in love.

Oh, dude!

You cannot touch her.

- She is the preacher's daughter.

- I know.

He's gonna get god to cast

down a lightning bolt on you.

I know.

Look, we've been secretly

dating, all right?

She's on the strictly

restricted list.

Do not open to 18.

Estimated time of arrival?

- Eight months, six days.

- Ah.

That could explain the lack of

interest in candy and company.

Ouch. Oh.

I'd have trouble

keeping that secret.

You have trouble keeping

your underwear a secret.

Oh.

All right.

We're going to play hit and run.

When candy comes onto you, I'll

pinch hit while you run away.

You're all heart, ditto.

Absolutely, bud.

What are friends for?

Ooh, ooh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Ever since she walked by,

those jeans are on my mind.

It's true.

Oh, it's true.

I'm hooked.

I'm hypnotized.

She's voodoo with big blue eyes.

It's true.

So true.

She's every thought.

She's every word.

If I could sleep,

I'd dream of her.

I'm hit.

Going down in flames.

Tail spinning, and

she's to blame.

I'm hit.

I'm out of control.

Falling in love,

falling hard you know.

I'm hit.

Going down in flames.

Shell-shocked, and I

can't see straight.

Other girls are miles below her.

I'm hit, and it's game over.

Nurse Zelda, may I

offer you a cup of punch?

Is it spiked?

No, no, no, no, no.

I made it myself.

Oh, pass-a-Rooney.

Are you sure?

My exotic blend of papaya,

mango, and the guava

are temptingly delightful,

with a splash of passion fruit

that will curl your toes.

What?

Why, principal Miller.

Are you, um, trying

to seduce me?

God, no.

Perish the thought.

I just thought you

might be thirsty.

Ok, daddy.

She stole my world.

If only she were my girl.

She's every thought.

She's every word.

If I can sleep,

I'd dream of her.

I'm hit.

She's too delicious, burning

for her bright red kisses.

Got to tell her.

I know I should, 'cause I'm

hit, and I'm hit for good.

I'm hit.

And it's game over.

You guys are great.

Go and take a break.

We'll be right back.

Ok, ladies.

Get in line.

The ditto Meister

is now accepting

reservations for romance.

How soon they forget a hero.

These small town girls don't

know what they're missing.

Striking out over

there, aren't you?

Oh, one, two, and three.

Here, drown your sorrows.

Yeah, thank you.

Mm.

Aw, disgustamundo.

There we go.

Just what the doctor ordered.

Some for me... eh, some for you,

some for the punch bowl too.

Know what? Let's uh, lower your

standards just a little bit.

There we go. Great.

May I have this dance?

Oh, my prince charming.

Where have you been all my life?

Ha, ha, all right.

Come with me.

Nurse Zelda.

Captain?

This is very

tasty punch, indeed.

I think I will have one or

two or 16 more of these.

I'm happy it pleases you.

I can give you

the secret recipe.

Oh, well, give it to me, baby.

I gots to have it.

Like bear on waters skis.

Nurse Zelda, do we have an ill

student out there on the floor?

How would I know?

Bear on water skis.

So what did you

think of the band?

It was fine.

Having a good time?

Mm-hm.

Really, Lisa.

Let's not hog the hunk.

Ditto.

Ditto!

You're an exquisite

dancer, and so sexy.

Hit and run, ditto.

Ditto, hit and run!

Looks like Hankins is

moving in on your territory.

Yeah, dude. He's putting a squeeze

on your grapefruits, man.

Yeah, go get him.

Yeah!

Oh, h... hi... hi, bronco.

How's algebra going?

Ditto?

Four, five, six, seven.

Two.

Oh, darn.

I keep losing count.

How about we take

your temperature, yes?

Oh.

The old fashioned way.

I'm... I'm feeling

much better now.

You are no fun at all.

I'm going to take two aspirins,

and you call me in the morning.

I've got some Booty

twerking to do.

Are you all right?

I'm fine. I'm surprised he didn't

break his hand on my abs of steal.

What? That was funny.

I'm just not much in

the mood for laughing.

What's wrong, Lisa?

I've got a problem.

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