Mamaboy Page #3

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A growing problem.

I don't get it.

Do you prefer cloth

or disposable diapers?

Are you saying that?

I love you, Lisa.

I love you, and

I'll love our baby.

And I love you.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared of what

the town might think,

and what all the other

kids are gonna say.

And most of all, I'm scared

of what my dad's going to do.

I'm scared for us.

I... I just got to disappear.

Lisa, you're not leaving me.

Not now, not ever.

I mean, sure, we made a mistake,

but everybody makes mistakes.

I promise, I will come

up with something.

Really?

I've always wanted to be

your knight in shining armor.

Just give me a chance.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Nurse Zelda!

I cannot unsee that.

I can't believe your dad

gave you a key to this place.

He didn't give me a key.

I wouldn't give me a key.

I forged a copy.

So your dad doesn't know we

raid this place every night?

Oh, sure he knows.

He keeps a tab.

I'm in debt for life.

He doesn't kick your butt?

How could you kick a

butt with a face like this?

So how are you feeling after

that, uh, first round knockout?

Hit and run, huh?

I get hit, and you run?

Your little error

almost cost me the game.

That was not my fault. She

had me under some sort of spell.

I promise it won't happen again.

It's nothing compared to

the blow Lisa laid on me.

Oh.

Ha, ha, ha, something juicy?

I mean, you'll

probably find out.

I mean, the whole school

will probably find out.

Lisa and I are, uh...

Lisa and I are

gonna have a baby.

A baby what?

What do you mean, a baby what?

A baby, baby.

You know, a pooping,

wetting, wah, wah, wah baby.

I hate to break it you, but this

is gonna put a definite

strain on your dating secret.

I've got to think

of something fast.

I mean, if I don't, Lisa's

father's gonna ship her off

to some convent in Mongolia.

And I mean, I

doubt I'll be doing

any pitching from a body cast.

How about if we

try to disguise Lisa?

That won't work.

Girls always know.

They have that baby sonar thing.

I've got to come

up with something

no one's ever going

to figure out.

Rapunzel?

Rapunzel?

Let down your long hair.

Hey, uncle Theus.

When did you get

the cool wheels?

This morning.

Heh heh.

Ain't she a beaut?

My other car would

make me look bad.

So, uh, where's my kid brother?

I need to experiment

on him again.

He took Jimmy

and mom fishing.

They should be gone all day.

Gadzooks.

I distinctly told him I'd

be by Sunday afternoon.

- Today's Saturday.

- Saturday?

Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Ok. What was yesterday?

- Friday.

- Tomorrow?

- Sunday.

What... what... what will

it be a week from today?

- Saturday.

- Ah.

My god, it is Saturday.

This is disastrous.

Everything's ready.

Ready for what?

The greatest discovery

known to mankind.

Greater than the wheel,

greater than flight,

greater than peanut butter.

Look... listen, I've discovered

how to transfer unlimited

gigaflops of yowibytes directly

into the cerebral cortex,

resulting in...

It's really cool.

Uh, maybe.

Maybe?

Maybe what?

Well, that's why I need my...

I... I need...

I need your father.

I need, uh, somebody

to, um, volunteer

to do my experiment on.

Is it painful?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No pain whatsoever.

Absolutely pain-free.

At least none of the

mouses complained about it.

I'll volunteer.

- You will?

- Yeah.

Oh! You'd be doing a huge

service to mankind.

Not to mention boosting

your grade point average.

I can never repay you.

- Can I bring ditto?

- Absolutely. Yes.

Let him witness

history in the making.

All right.

Cool.

I think I have to

go to the bathroom.

Oh, no.

We're ready to begin.

There. Ok.

When I flip this switch,

you're going to become

a human computer chip.

Before, you put

this in your mouth.

It's gonna prevent you

from biting your tongue.

All right? Ok?

Ok.

All right.

Ok. Ready?

Count!

Five, four, three, two, one!

Blast off.

Work, baby.

Work, baby.

What's your name?

Kelly Hankins.

It worked.

What's the square root of 976?

I don't know.

I really don't

feel any different.

No new knowledge?

At least I didn't lose any.

Hey. What's this?

Ah!

Don't touch that.

That is a super hybrid

of a venous fly trap,

only it doesn't stop

at eating just insects.

Sorry.

Hey, little fellow.

Hey uncle Theus, who's this?

Don't.

That, uh, that...

That is Adam, my most

extraordinary experiment.

It looks

pretty normal to me.

Oh, he is.

Except for one very

important detail.

He is gonna have a baby.

- Adam's going to have a baby?

- Yeah.

That's impossible.

Well, it may not be as

crazy as you, uh, may think.

There have been

dozens of documented

cases of women carrying babies

in their abdominal cavities.

So, why not a male?

How did he even get

pregnant in the first place?

Well, by tweet.

Tweet?

I don't understand.

Yeah, you never will understand.

I barely understand myself.

Tweet.

Tweet, tweet stands for Theus

workable easy embryo transfer.

No muss, no fuss,

no pain whatsoever.

I've heard that before.

Are you sure it's safe?

Are you doubting

the work of a genius

with double your IQ, triple his?

I give you proof positive.

Uncle Theus, can that

be done to a human being?

Um, theoretically, yes.

But you know, there

are dangers involved.

What kind of dangers?

Well, the... the danger that

the embryo will not attach,

the danger of removing

the mature fetus.

Most importantly,

the danger to the...

To the carrier.

Any misstep along the

way could prove fatal.

- I don't know, Kelly.

- I do.

- But what if...

- It won't.

- Well, can you...

- I can.

Is this some sort

of new teenage rap?

You know, uncle Theus, you said

you'd never be able to repay

me for that experiment.

That's right.

I know how you can repay me.

What in the heck?

Get out.

I'm the principal.

I'm the principal here.

Oh.

I wanted a beaver.

Milton.

I assume you are taking

up valuable space

in my office for a reason.

What have you got for me?

Sucking face

in the janitors room,

smoking in the lavatory,

beer cans in the bushes.

Having them dusted

for prints now.

And spiked punch.

That explains a lot.

Milton, I want to commend you.

Your keen sense of investigative

snitchery has reached new lows.

You may now stand at ease.

Ah, thank you, sir.

May I say, it's an honor to

serve on board the same ship

with you as her commander.

Yes, you may.

Again, it's an honor to

serve on board the same ship

with you as her commander.

Thank you.

Milton, you are a

credit to your school

and a valuable asset to me.

I want you to step

up your efforts

to uncover these offensive

everyday teenage activities.

Keep your eyes open and your

ears perked for any rumor

of deviant behavior.

Ok.

Oh, wow.

This must be the horror section.

If you're looking for

something to check out,

try this.

Mm.

I'll take a dozen copies.

Not here.

Not right now.

You're crazy.

I might just be.

Wait till you hear this plan.

What?

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