Mamaboy Page #8

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no, I've never been so wrong.

All those things

I should have said,

the noise fills my head

and how I miss,

miss your sweet song.

Tell me...

How long, how long,

how long will your name

leave me in pieces?

Tell me how long, how long,

how long till your heart

gets mine completely?

How long?

Hey, principal

Miller, nurse Zelda.

Heyo, Buenos

noches, senor Hankins.

Meow.

You're looking quite

festive this evening.

Ay caramba.

Would you like some

punch, nurse Zelda?

That sounds mouthwatering.

So sure we were forever.

Was I wrong?

Was I confused?

You see I lost my way

and I lost my faith.

Yeah, I lost everything

when I lost you.

Exquisite threads, my man.

I'm totally envious of how

well your tie and shoes match.

You look pretty good too, ditto.

It's just a little

spur of the moment thing

that I threw together.

Uh, did you recognize

the glorious creature

that walked by?

No.

What glorious creature?

The one with the

big pink orchid.

Yeah?

Guess I didn't notice.

Well, every other jockstrap

neanderthal in here did.

It's Lisa.

You remember?

Your ex?

Previous passion?

She's looking kind of

sickly, don't you think?

Sickly?

Sure, Kel.

She's falling apart without you.

Hey, Debbie.

Deb... Debbie.

Why don't you take

this poor, sad soul out

onto the dance floor and

check for signs of life?

There you... ok.

Attagirl.

Thank you, Debbie.

Nurse?

The shadow,

he never makes a sound.

No, no.

Never see the shadow

until he takes you down.

Whoa yeah, you're gone,

you're going down.

- You guys sound great.

- Thanks, Kelly.

Sorry you couldn't

be a part of this.

I was hoping for

old time's sake,

that you guys would just

play this song with me?

Sure.

Yeah, ok.

Do you know how it feels?

Do you know what it's like?

Nothing goes how it's planned.

No one's left on your side.

I keep waiting for you

to come back around.

I keep on trying to figure out,

where did I go wrong?

How did this happen?

Where did we go wrong?

My whole world is crashing.

If you love me

like you said you did,

then how'd we get to this?

Where did I go wrong?

Where did we go wrong?

I thought we wanted the same.

Maybe you're just too scared.

I try and handle the pain,

but guess you want it that way.

I keep on waiting for

you to come back around.

I keep on trying to figure out,

where did I go wrong?

How did this happen?

Where did I go wrong?

My whole world is crashing.

If you love like you said you

did, then how'd we get to this?

So where did I go wrong?

Where did we go wrong?

I will be here even

though you're scared

and treat me this way, 'cause

I said I'll always love you,

and that won't ever change.

Where did I go wrong?

How did this happen?

Where did I go wrong?

My whole world is crashing.

If you love me like you said you

did, then how'd we get to this?

So where did I go wrong?

Where did we go wrong?

Attention, attention, students.

Attention.

Settle down, people.

Settle down.

Well, I trust we

are all enjoying

the evening like

responsible, mature adults.

At this time, it is

my honor to announce

this year's valedictorian.

Now, um, we always

take into consideration

the grades and contributions

throughout all four years

here at Butterhill high.

And while this particular

individual may have crashed

and burned late in

the year, the award

still goes to Kelly Hankins.

Uh, congratulations,

Kelly and we

look forward to hearing

your words of wisdom

at the graduation ceremonies.

And now, the backward dance.

So ladies, grab a partner

other than your own.

Woo! Woo!

Raise the... the thing.

You're my choice, lover boy.

What are you doing?

Hey, bronco.

Don't look now, but there's

a bee on your flower.

Yeah, man.

Looks like he's trying to get

some honey for his stringer.

Yeah.

Something poked me.

Ditto?

You perverted slime.

Ditto!

He's... he's...

He's what?

He is pregnant.

That's right.

Kelly Hankins is

gonna to have a baby.

Hey, come on.

Extra, extra.

Read all about it.

Baby boom at Butterhill high.

How does it feel to

be Milton's mamaboy?

He's probably after

the Pulitzer prize.

I mean, can you believe this?

Can you believe the slanderous

things he's saying about me?

They're all true, aren't they?

That's besides the point.

I mean, he doesn't have to

make it sound so unusual.

Yeah, he takes an ordinary story

and tries to sensationalize it.

Are you ever planning to

visit the outside world again?

'Cause if you're not, I sure

could use your baseball mitt.

Just because a guy likes

to spend a couple of days

alone in his room

doesn't mean that he's

looking to join a monastery.

And besides, I like spending

time with, uh, my goldfish.

Yeah, that goldfish

is the only social life

you'll be seeing for a while.

Sorry to interrupt your date.

Don't forget about the mitt.

Yeah.

You can't have my

mitt, you vulture.

I really wasn't

interested in your mitt.

But maybe your car.

Sorry, dad.

Too late.

I just had a long talk

with your uncle Theus,

and he told me everything.

Son, I've never had a reason

to be anything other than proud

of you, and I want you to

know that that still stands.

But dad, aren't you ashamed

when you walk down the street

and people point and

whisper, there goes

the father of that mamaboy?

Eighth wonder of the world.

Freak of nature.

Is that what you think?

Son, that couldn't be

further from the truth.

The man upstairs, he asked

you for a big favor, one

with tremendous sacrifice,

and you haven't let him down.

And you've never let me down.

Just, it's a lot more difficult

than I thought it would be.

I mean, I could never imagine

doing this a second time.

Mothers are amazing.

Aren't they, though?

The family's going to be

going to church this morning.

Will you be joining us?

I'm pretty sure if I

showed my face at church,

reverend weld

would go ballistic.

I mean, I must have broken every

religious rule in the book.

Ah. I've never been a fan

of religious rules.

Do this, do that,

do this, do that.

By the time you're done, you're

nothing but a big doo doo.

Look, we don't have

all the answers, son.

But I do know this.

God, he has a plan

and a purpose for you.

And no matter what you

go through in life,

you need not be afraid,

because all things

work together for good.

God's got your back.

So do I.

Thanks, dad.

Life just seems a lot

less scary inside my room.

You know, Kelly,

you could probably

live in your room for

the rest of your life,

and nothing bad would

ever happen to you.

But then again, son,

nothing good would

ever happen to you either.

Mm.

Buon appetito, furry

little pregnant friend.

Uncle Theus has

made your favorite...

Oh.

Oh.

Onward Christian

soldiers marching as to war.

With the cross of Jesus...

Maybe this isn't

such a good idea.

You think?

Reverend weld's going to

give you so much heat,

I'm going to melt just

sitting next to you.

Maybe I should just

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