Mancation Page #10

I was sure you felt

the same way.

Of course i do, vince.

I always have.

But why now?

You're married.

Technically, yes.

But i think

i found a loophole.

What?

Ladies first.

Whoa!

All right! Yeah! All right!

All right.

Oh my god, are you kidding?

Your move, cupcake.

Hey, guys.

Listen,

i didn't say anything.

That was

my little friend.

I love asian people.

Good... Good food.

Great food. F***.

Whoa!

All right, we're...

We're all gentlemen here.

I think

we can act accordingly.

Those are badass.

Not necessary.

- Uh, guys...

Hey, yo!

What the f*** are

you b*tches doing, huh?

That delightful white boy

belongs with us.

- What's up? - Yeah, i guess

they didn't see our hanky chiefs.

- Seriously?

- Now it's official.

No, it's not.

No, you're married.

- This thing was stupid, anyway.

- No no. Look,

Stupid, maybe;

married, yes.

But if you look closely...

Page one, paragraph one,

article one...

It says

"happily married. "

Okay? And...

I don't think

I could ever be happy

without you in my life.

He does know

what a blood job is.

Boots.

Hand me your feces.

Motherf***er!

Not gonna fizzle me!

Do you have any idea how hard

it is to watch you be engaged

And make the flowers

for your wedding

And your bride-To-Be?

I didn't just decide

One day to be cool

with us never happening.

That doesn't happen overnight.

It's really hard to do.

You have to work up to it.

And now you show up two days

After i watched you get married

and i said my final goodbye.

And you just expect me

to undo years

Of coming to terms with something

like this? F*** you, vince.

No, wait. Hold on. This isn't

easy for me either, okay?

Oh god, no! Oh!

Oh, looks like

soft-Serve!

Very good. Relax.

Oh no!

Oh!

Oh! Oh oh, no!

Oh, man, come on!

F***!

F***.

Get out of here, brady.

You're too pretty.

You break

into that lady's house?

Ow! Yes! Ow!

Of course i did! I did a

pretty shitty job hiding it,

- So you're just as guilty as i am!

- Where the f*** is vince?

- Igor's penthouse.

- You all right?

- Yeah, i'll be all right.

- Good.

I thought i had

everything going

Exactly the way i planned.

And then i found out i was

dead wrong about all of it.

But i get it now.

I get it.

L... Nobody can

just say that

Everything is gonna be a

certain way from this point on

Just because that's the way

they want it to be.

What?

Life throws you curves all

the time, and they can suck.

But sometimes life gives

you a second chance.

This one just happened to come at a...

...really really

inconvenient time.

This should never

have been a backup plan.

Oh. Oh, look, how cute.

He looks like the bellagio.

Let's see how you like

the mama bird, motherf***er.

Boots,

I'll need more feces.

Much more.

Now what?!

Whoo! I got him!

I got him!

Go to sleep!

Go to sleep!

Just go to sleep.

Shh! Shh!

Look, i lost everything

in the last two days...

Everything that i thought

that i wanted. And honestly,

I'm absolutely fine

with that if it means

That you and i get

a second chance to do

What we should've

done a long time ago.

I thought about that

near-Kiss in statistics for...

For years after that.

Oh no!

- Mmm!

Yes, boots.

You've done it again.

Ooh!

Would you have me?

I'd have me.

Nobody wins!

- Nobody wins!

- I'd have me hard.

Look at me. I'm a millionaire!

I'm a monopoly man! I'm a

monopoly man with a boot.

Don't pass "go. "

Don't collect drachmas.

Look at me!

Look at me!

I'm wearing kulats!

I am fashion...

Fashion and fun!

Shh! Shh! Just go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

I got him! I got him!

Oh f***.

Oh sh*t.

Come here.

# Hello, my baby, hello, my honey... #

Hmm hmm,

can you dig it?

Oh no!

Get the f*** off me!

Dog style!

Controversial,

motherf***er.

It is old

ass, but it is good ass!

Who's next?

Who's next?!

Whoo!

You are

the washington genitals.

- No, don't listen to him.

- No!

What? My boots.

Let's get the f***

out of here.

Top-Notch gang banging.

That... Oh my god.

You guys...

That... That's badass.

Look it.

- You're my guys.

- Yeah, well, we take care of our own, son.

- Remember that.

- That'swhat I'm talking about.

Oh my god. All right.

I gotta clear the air here. Boyz ii men?

Yeah, demolition was

in boyz ii men.

I knew it! I knew it!

Oh, i am such a fan.

- Thank you. Appreciate it.

- Oh, timeless. Timeless.

Sorry.

One... One...

One second.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Hello, mr. Vanderplatt.

Hey hey, vince.

Just calling to remind you

That tomorrow is the biggest

day in the history of my...

Scratch that...

Our company.

Oh. No sir. I wouldn't

miss that for the world.

- I'm very excited.

- Now you're talking.

That's just what i wanna hear.

I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Yes sir.

- 9:
00 a. M. Sharp.

- Oh, and, vince?

Do me a favor...

Call me dad.

What?

What's wrong?

You don't wanna give

all that up.

And i would never ask you to.

So please don't try to squeeze

me into your 10-Year plan...

Where i don't fit anymore

And where you never really

wanted me in the first place.

Hey.

I gave you my word i'd have

you home by the morning.

Let's go home.

# I left on a friday

# With my clothes

and my books #

# I walked for a second

# Gave your house

one last look #

# The thought

of you in there #

# As i stepped in the cab

# It's gonna be

a long while, girl #

# Before i see you again

# And i left a postcard

# Beneath the...

brady, what are

you still doing here?

Facebook-Stalked you.

"Awful trip.

Last day in atlantic city.

Going for one last run. "

What do you want?

Look, you break his heart,

i'll kill you.

- Figuratively, of course.

- No, really.

I'll take a tire iron

and break your knees.

I'll keep that in mind.

- Hey.

- Vince, let's please not do this again.

Wait.

Don't you have

a meeting to be at?

Yeah, i...

I might've been a bit

overstated with my words.

Right on time.

Hello, mr. Vanderplatt.

Vince, I'm here

with the yakitoris and...

Well, you've never been late.

And I'm just wondering

if you're well

And on your way here

right now.

I'm... I'm quite well, sir,

But i don't think

i'll be making it in today.

Vince.

I'm sure you understand

That it's

in your best interest

To be here at all costs

And that the yakitoris

would be very honored

With your presence

And very dishonored

with your absence.

Well, then allow me to impart

to them, in their native tongue,

My deepest apologies.

Well, yeah, that's

the least you could do.

You're such a nerd.

Well... So,

what did he say?

How dishonorable!

So what did end up

happening last night? Oh!

What a little b*tch.

That controversial bastard.

So what comes next?

I have no idea.

# Mancation, mancation

# Dudes are partying

all across the nation #

# No wives or girlfriends

to put the brakes on #

# Drinking beer and partying,

it's a mancation #

# Whoa whoa

# Mancation

# Whoa whoa

# Mancation

# Mancation, mancation

- # Party party

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