Mancation Page #9

I'm not done yet.

Hold on.

Oh. Hello.

I'm really good at algebra,

But I'm really bad

at winning wars.

What the f***

are you doing?

Okay, you're ju...

You're just being...

You're being racist now.

I never...

I never taught you

to be racist, all right?

I'm not being racist.

Will you calm down please?

- Whoa!

- Whoa. What do we do?

Uh...

- run.

- Okay.

Oh.

- Hurry up!

- I'm not used to running

With a fishing lure

in my dick!

- Scooby doo. Scooby doo!

- What?

I can't believe

that worked.

- What?

- What the hell was that?

- Wh...

- You started off great,

Then you just

f***ing tanked it.

What the hell was that?

You know the asians are extremely

proud and prosperous people.

- I know.

- Good food, interesting culture,

Outstanding movies

and cinema.

I don't wanna look at

you right now. Just...

Hey.

Hey, vince.

Those guys looked pretty

pissed. That you, adam?

Leo started a turf war. Where

are you going in such a hurry?

I'm going to tell

the woman i love

That she's the woman

that i love.

- Rebecca?

- Yeah.

- What, the florist?

- Yes, the florist.

Oh. Oh, she's a sweetheart.

You should've married that girl.

Everybody?

It's your

ride-Or-Die chick.

Dan?

Dan.

Mmm. I'm not dan.

There's no dan here.

Oh. Hey, i know you.

- You're the minister.

- Oh yes.

The minister of pleasure.

I also do bar mitzvahs.

That bearded

blond bastard.

He doesn't stand a chance.

We have god on our side.

Peachey?

Bring the bonerall.

This has got to be it.

- Yeah.

- How do i look?

Um, well, you kinda look

like a hasidic pimp.

Yeah, you should

probably lose the shirt.

- Okay.

- Unbelievable.

Icelandic hairdresser.

What happened to you?

Really? Really?

It's a mansion.

There's bound to be a hanger.

Like animals, both of ya.

All right, i want you

guys on your best behavior.

Talk to your brother.

You know he's a huge racist?

- I'm not a racist.

- Oh my god, I'm serious.

What?

# In spit of the melody...

Okay. Wait here.

# The better part of me

is caving #

# And we don't need

those broken bones #

# Awkward lighting

in broken homes #

# No no no, we don't need

those empty tones... #

- Hey.

- Vince.

What in the world are you doing here?

- Is cyndi with you?

- Remember that time

In statistics class

when we almost kissed?

No.

Oh. Okay.

That's not important then.

- Listen to me.

Hello, rebecky.

Here's the another

kamikaze you wanted.

- Number four.

- Number four already?

- Oh my atlanta.

- How do you say "four" in russian?

It's...

Use your teeth

and your tongue.

Oh, I'm sorry. Vince,

this is igor. Igor, vince.

Hello, vince.

Would you like a red cup

- Full of party drink?

- What the hell are you doing here?

I'm working on kamikaze

number...

I'm a big girl, vince.

I'm allowed to drink.

Yeah, i know, but not

with this a**hole.

Oh! Why would

you say that?

This is the first time

we've met ever.

- What is your problem?

- My problem? This guy's a piece of sh*t

- And his boots broke a chair over

my back yesterday. - Oh, it's lies!

- My boots would never break a chair.

- No no no.

- He loves carpentry.

- I love my maple.

Yesterday? Why aren't

you with your wife?

She's a lesbian,

evidently always has been.

I caught her cheating on me

with her maid of honor.

- How controversial.

That's not important.

Listen to me.

I'm in love with you.

I always have been.

Okay.

"Okay"?

That's it?

"Okay. " "Okay"?

I guess. I don't really

know what you want me to say.

Oh, this is painfully awkward,

okay? So let's no more of it.

Rebecky, would you like

to see my bed?

It's a tempur-Pedic.

Uh, maybe later.

I see.

Well, the night

is still young.

What?

To your health.

- No, hold on.

- Oh!

What did you

do that for, a**hole?!

His boots just

tried to drug you.

- My boots would never do that!

- I just say no to drug.

Rebecky, you are soaking wet.

Please, go to the top floor.

It's the penthouse.

It's my room. Go into my

closet, take whatever you like.

Thank you, igor.

You're quite the gentleman.

I'll see you soon.

Hey.

What the hell

are you doing?

I'm going to make bangs

with the woman you love.

How controversial.

I'm fat. I can't run. I'm fat.

I need to go

to the gym.

They are walking

really fast.

This does not seem normal.

My god, he's slow.

Oh god!

Oh, I've got a cramp!

Okay, can you just...

make bangs

with someone else?

- I'm trying to talk to her.

- Mmm. She's a little older than i like,

But I'm going to make

an exception for her,

Because she is

in tip-Top shape.

Uh-Oh uh-Oh

uh-Oh, boots.

I think that she is

the woman he loves

And he has yet

to round her baseball bases.

Oh.

- Is that right?

I'll do you a favor. I'll

let you know how she likes it.

Or better yet,

i'll have boots v. C.R. It

And you can watch it

yourself later.

How controversial.

Oh yeah.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'd like

to be inside of her.

Where do you think

you're going,

You haggis-Eating bastard?

Oh, if it isn't bret michaels

from the poisons.

We have

unfinished business.

You will have to wait

until i finish my nailings.

No f***ing way.

I demand satisfaction now,

And i challenge you

To a controversial-Off.

Yeah, we take turns.

First one who can't stand

to watch, loses.

I know how it works.

Do you accept?

- Nyet.

- Are you afraid, mr. Controversial?

Are you

pussying out on me?

No.

I have more important

things to do

And you are

not worth my time.

You are not controversial

in the least.

Your controversy is

a fake controversy.

You do it only to hide

your insecurities.

But you're not actually

controversial.

You pretend

to love things like...

Pickup trucks

And cheeseburgers

and titties.

But you

don't love cheeseburgers

And pickup trucks

and titties.

You only pretend

to love those things

Because it's what

you think is controversial.

But you cannot play

my game of controversy.

In the game

of controversy,

You are

the washington generals.

Challenge.

You think

you know controversy?

Just like i know

that the holocaust

Never happened.

- Controversial!

Racist.

What do you think, boots?

I thinks

you has yourself

A controversial-Off!

What do you think

you're doing?

Buying you some time.

Go talk to her.

Just go.

It'll be fine.

What the f*** is wrong with

you? You can't take this guy.

- These europeans are the real a**hole deal!

- I can do this.

Don't try to win. Just buy

vince a couple of minutes.

F*** that.

I can win this.

Snap out of it. You're not

even close to ready for this.

I have 22 years

of repressed a**hole

That has been boiling up inside of

me, waiting for this very moment.

I am the only one

who can win this.

If you don't think i can do it,

then get the f*** out of my way,

Pick up your slaphappy dick and beat

your down-Syndrome sister with it.

Give him hell.

Hey.

I'm sorry about that.

Vince,

please just leave.

Did you hear

what i said down there?

I'm... I'm in love with you.

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