Manhattan Murder Mystery Page #5

I'm your husband.

I command you to sleep. Sleep.

I command it. Sleep!

If this had been a few years ago,

you would do the same thing.

Because if you recall, we solved

a mystery. We solved a mystery once.

It was the " noises

in the attic" mystery.

The country house. The bluebird.

That was a sweet mystery.

This is murder.

- You agree, right? It's murder, Larry.

- I forbid you! I forbid you to go!

Is that what you do when I forbid you?

I'm not going to be

forbidding you a lot if you do...

- Damn it.

- Don't do this.

We should be asleep,

in our cuddling position.

Please be quiet.

You're gonna wake up the neighbours.

- I got it.

- This is no good.

This could only lead

to great unhappiness.

- Relax, okay?

- I can't relax. How can I relax?

I'm in a strange man's apartment

in my T-shirt and pyjamas.

- Ted told me to try something here.

- Ted? What is he, your mentor?

- Ted is a sick schmuck.

- Just be quiet, all right?

- What if he comes back? My heart is...

- Larry.

- Waldron?

- Who?

- Who is this? Who do you want?

- Who's this?

- Do you know anybody named Waldron?

- Hang the phone up.

- Great. Now they hung up on us.

- Good, good.

Let me think.

Waldron, right? Helen Moss.

He used the name Tom.

Tom Waldron.

- We gotta run a check on that.

- You want to beat it to the morgue?

You got all the jargon.

Where are you going?

I'm not a night person.

I don't want to be...

I don't know what I'm looking for.

- Wait. Look.

- Are you gonna go through the guy's mail?

This is insane.

- What do you mean?

- Jesus! Oh, Christ!

- Clean it up. Hurry up.

- What am I gonna do? Vacuum?

- Put it under the rug.

- It's a wall-to-wall carpet.

- I broke his porcelain...

- Well, then, glue it.

- What do you mean, glue it?

- Look.

- What?

- Look.

So what. Gloves.

I have gloves.

Do you keep yours out

in this kind of weather?

- Let's get out.

- Something's strange here.

He left these out.

The whole thing is sinister.

It's eye of the beholder.

You have to get happy glasses.

I'm gonna take the pieces.

We'll get rid of them.

- How did you like your birthday cake?

- I loved it.

- But I love chocolate anything.

- I know.

- What are you laughing about?

- Lf only he could stay in town.

They're working us so hard at school.

I gotta get back.

I'm gonna take him

to Brooks Brothers for his present.

She's going to a winetasting.

Can you believe that?

If I'm gonna be a restaurant owner,

I should know about wines.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- I want you to meet somebody.

- What?

- Hi, Larry.

- Hi. How are you?

- Good. How are you doing?

- This is my wife.

- Carol. Remember me?

- This is Marcia Fox.

- Hi.

- Good to see you.

It's his birthday,

so we took him to 21.

Your friend called me.

He's taking me to dinner in New Jersey.

- I fixed her up with Ted.

- You did?

- That place we ate at.

- Lovely.

- You'll have a good time.

- Great.

- Well, good to see you.

- Take care. Goodbye.

- She'll have a great time.

- So that's Marcia Fox, huh?

- What are you making a face for?

- You think she's Ted's type?

She's anybody's type.

She's brilliant, talented.

- You know, your pupils are dilating.

- She's dangerously sexual.

When you go to the winetasting,

getting back to real life, spit it out.

- Don't drink too much.

- What do you mean?

I don't want you on the bathroom floor

with your head by the bowl tonight.

- That Mouton '45.

- Did you love it?

- That was like, sublime, you know?

- Yeah.

The inexpensive Spanish one.

Wasn't that a surprise?

Wasn't that great?

Look at these paintings.

- So...

- I love the blue in that.

- Larry fixed you up with Marcia Fox?

- Yeah, well, you know.

He says she's wonderful. And I'm...

I'm trying to meet people.

I'm not looking forward to this.

- So you're taking her to Vincent's?

- Yeah. I guess.

- She's not my first choice.

- No?

God, look at this.

That park is so beautiful.

- I can't have my first choice.

- No?

- I'm drunk. I don't know what I'm saying.

- So am I. I don't know about this.

- I'm gonna be late for my shrink.

- You've gotta go?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

You know, you would be

my first choice.

- Me, huh?

- Yeah.

Well.

Oh, boy.

Can I give you a lift?

I'm gonna go east.

No, I think I'll stick around.

I feel a little tipsy.

- I didn't offend you by what I said?

- No.

You didn't offend me. No, I was

very flattered by this, Ted. Flattered.

- Well, anyway...

- See you later.

- See you. Careful.

- Sorry. Excuse me.

I got a great sweater

at Brooks Brothers for Nick.

It's cashmere. Very expensive.

The kid looked so handsome in it.

I decided I'd cook tonight.

Tuna casserole.

- Well, no wonder he had her cremated.

- What?

Mrs. House.

You're not on about

Mrs. House again?

I thought we'd have a light dinner...

- Larry. I just saw Mrs. House.

- What are you talking about? The ashes?

A bus passed me and she was on it.

The dead woman passed you on a bus?

The bus to heaven?

I'm not joking. I'm telling you,

I really saw her. I actually saw her.

You wanna lie down for a while?

Cold compress or hot compress...

I was at the winetasting, right?

And I was sitting at a bay window.

I happened to look out. A bus passed,

and she was on it, Larry...

Yes, remember I said to you,

spit it out?

You said you were going

to taste wine all afternoon?

You swallowed it.

That's why you're this way.

Yeah, I had a few drinks, but...

I saw her.

Yeah, I'm sure you saw her. How could

you? She's dead. And cremated.

Are you telling me that

I didn't see her? Is that it?

I think it's a fair assumption that if

a person is dead, they don't turn up.

I just don't know

what's happening, Larry.

What's going on? Let me put it this way.

Total psychotic breakdown. Okay?

Maybe she's a twin.

Now, forget this.

Tell me if I put in too much fudge

in my casserole.

You're getting so close-minded

these days. I just... Oh, God.

- Hello? Ted.

- Ted.

You're not going to believe this,

but I saw Mrs. House.

Yeah, Mrs. House.

The murdered woman. Right.

She wasn't murdered. It was a coronary.

I don't know what she's talking about.

No, I'm sure I saw her.

She was on a bus.

I saw her just moments after you left.

Right. He was at the winetasting too.

Sure, why not.

Would you? Great. Run a check

on Paul and Lillian House...

Don't run a check. Can you call back?

My marriage is falling apart.

If you're gonna have an affair,

you don't need a murder to do it.

I'm telling you, I saw Mrs. House.

Yes, I know. On the dead persons' bus.

Now, sit down.

I can show you the exact spot, Larry.

- What about lunch? Tomorrow?

- No, I've got a business lunch.

This is just such a shock.

- I'm vibrating from this.

- We got tickets to the theatre.

What? I'm not going to the theatre.

We've been holding onto these tickets

for months.

Do you comprehend the enormity

of what I'm telling you?

- Tell the police, not me.

- What am I going to say to them?

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