Manhattan Murder Mystery Page #4

That's a crime.

That's breaking and entering.

What has gotten into you?

Save a little craziness for menopause.

I took the key and I let myself in.

Hey, look...

You'll wind up rooming with John Gotti.

You can't just steal a key

and go into somebody's apartment.

He's not going snorkelling

with his brother.

I don't want to be an accessory.

He's going to Paris with a woman

named Helen Moss.

- Tell Ted. I don't want to know.

- I did.

- You told Ted before me?

- Yeah, he's more open-minded.

I know. I'm a bore. I don't break

the law. I live within the Constitution.

- Plus, he got rid of the urn.

- I don't want to hear.

- He talked on the phone with a woman.

- How do you know?

- He came back while I was there.

- He did?

- I hid under the bed.

- Under his bed?

He didn't see me, Larry.

He didn't see me at all.

I cannot believe this.

My stomach is curdling.

He was very lovey-dovey

with this kind of bimbo.

He kept saying stuff like, " Don't worry.

It'll be all right. We'll be together. "

- What if he found you?

- I couldn't think that far ahead.

That far ahead?

You're talking two seconds.

Yeah, but Larry, listen to this.

He called this woman back.

Probably this Helen Moss.

I don't want to know.

And when he calls her back,

she's not there.

Then he leaves this message and says:

"Tell her Tom called. "

You know what I'm saying? Tom!

I get it. His name is Paul. But I

don't care. I don't want to hear.

I thought I did a great job,

and so did Ted.

A private eye

couldn't have done better.

I put everything back where I found it.

I was careful. I made one mistake.

- What?

- I left my reading glasses on his table.

I thought I'd bring chocolate mousse.

I know you enjoyed the last dessert.

I thought I'd give you another

something delicious.

Do you want me to serve that?

You should while it's fresh.

- We can all have some.

- That'd be great.

- I'll get plates.

- Good.

- That's great.

- Over here. I put them here somewhere.

How are you doing in there?

You need any help?

- No, I'm fine. I'll be right in.

- Okay, great.

No. You're going to ruin everything.

What are you doing?

- Are you okay? Can we do anything?

- Coffee or tea?

- I'd like some tea.

- You know, I found your glasses.

- Mine?

- Are these yours?

- Yes! No, no, no.

- Those aren't yours. These are the same.

- These ones are.

- They are mine.

- What a coincidence.

- I think the other night I left them.

- I didn't notice.

- It was the strangest thing.

You thought I left them

at your mother's house.

- Of course.

- That mousse looks fabulous.

- I love mousse.

- Thank you.

- Are you looking forward to snorkelling?

- Very much.

It's funny. I found

those glasses under my bed.

I must have dropped them

and they got kicked under.

- They were...

- She drops things and kicks them around.

- Mousse?

- I'd love some.

Remember when you kicked

mousse under the bed?

- I remember.

- Took six months to get...

- Sorry I'm late. The traffic's murder.

- I know. Where are we going?

I looked up Helen Moss in

the phone book. It was "H. Moss. "

It's Bank Street.

We're going to do surveillance.

I got a whole lot of food. It's great.

- There's her house.

- Right. So we just sit and wait? Okay.

Maybe he thought if he divorced her,

she'd hit him for alimony.

- Maybe she controls the family fortune.

- Yeah. Maybe we're wrong, Ted.

Maybe she died of natural causes

like the doctor said and we have...

...hyperactive imaginations

whose lives need adrenaline.

- Does yours? Mine needs something.

- What's that?

Jelly doughnuts.

You want a jelly doughnut?

- Come on. You gotta get into it.

- Okay.

- Oh, my God. Look. Look!

- What? What?

- Helen! Helen! Duck, duck!

- Ted! Oh, God.

Helen!

- It's not her.

- It's not her?

No, it's not her.

- What?

- Oh, God.

You really have

this worked out, don't you?

I figured she'd come out

and go to work.

Maybe she doesn't work. Maybe she's

like you and she has writer's hours.

I'm writing a play about something

that happened to us.

God. Oh, dear. What?

Remember when you and I and Larry and

Julie were on that eating tour of France?

Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah.

And they wandered off

and forgot to pick us up?

We shared that

bed-and-breakfast place.

Remember those wonderful cottages?

And I remember that we shared

a bedroom together, right?

- Not a bed.

- No, not a...

Well, God, you were too

gentlemanly to suggest that.

- It's not that I didn't think of it.

- No.

I knew what was going on

because of the way...

...you kept plying me

with Chteau Margaux.

It could have been our little secret.

Then you passed out.

Yeah, God. It seems like

a long time ago, doesn't it?

Not that long ago.

Look. Look, look, look.

What?

- Helen! Duck.

- God, yeah. Right.

- She didn't see us.

- No?

- That's gotta be her. She answers to Helen.

- She answers to Helen. She's pretty.

- Yeah.

- She's...

- What is she doing?

- She's getting a cab. Keep down.

- Okay, don't worry.

- I'm gonna follow her.

Watch your step.

It's very steep. Be careful.

- This is beautiful.

- Isn't it?

We show revivals.

This week we have Fred Astaire.

Next we have an Orson Welles festival.

I think that will be about the last

thing we do before renovating.

- Paul.

- Come on, there's nobody around.

Okay.

- I've never been behind a movie screen.

- Strange, isn't it?

It used to be a first-run house

when the neighbourhood was better.

- All these mirrors.

- It used to be all mirrors. Beautiful.

I'm having this broken glass

replaced as we go along.

They used to have stage shows here.

Now we only show old movies.

- It has such a lonely feeling.

- I'm the only one here. And Mrs. Dalton.

I'll have it fixed up.

Then I'll sell it.

- The money is gonna come in handy.

- It sure will.

- What's that noise?

- Where?

Mrs. Dalton, I didn't know

you were here.

I didn't know anyone

was here. I'm sorry.

- I heard a noise, but I apologize.

- It's quite all right.

I'd love to really get an acting job.

- I've had it with modelling.

- Maybe you won't have to work at all.

Oh, my God.

- What's the matter?

- Come with me, okay?

- Jeez.

- Come on.

I was asleep,

dreaming of round card girls.

Okay. It looks like he's gone.

Yeah. Yeah, he's gone.

- Not that again.

- I want another look at his apartment.

What are you talking about?

Where are you going?

- He'll never be back, Larry.

- What?

- No, he's not coming back.

- You got his key?

- Yeah.

- You're kidding. You can't...

You followed him to the movie house.

You said nothing happened.

No, he was with this young model type,

and they were talking about money.

- Well, so what?

- That's the motive.

- Listen.

- What are you talking about?

- Wait.

- What do you mean?

You gotta go to your shrink.

I want you to see Dr. Ballard.

Larry, I went for two years.

You know how General Motors

will recall cars?

- You gotta go in.

- We'll be out in five minutes. Five.

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