Manhattan Murder Mystery Page #7

- Very nice.

I love a hotel that's got blue powder

sprinkled along the baseboard.

Six-eleven. Here, Larry. All right.

- Mrs. House?

- Mrs. House?

- Mrs. House?

- Hello.

- Hello? Mrs... My God.

- I don't think she's...

- I don't see her.

- This may not be the right place.

Just hold on, Larry.

- Hold on, hold on.

- There's nothing here.

- Larry! Wait!

- What's the matter?

Oh, my God, look! Mrs. House?

Mrs. House?

- What's the matter?

- Hello?

- Larry.

- What?

- I think she's dead.

- Try giving her the present.

- Mrs. House?

- Oh, come on, let's get out of here!

I think she's dead!

I'm thinking of running the marathon.

This woman is forever dying.

Come on, move. Move.

Adrenaline is leaking out of my ears!

- Get down those stairs. Come on.

- Okay, all right.

What happened was

I suspected Mr. House...

- I'm looking around and suddenly

a hand is on the floor...

- and she has no twin,

but we checked...

- I tried to keep calm.

- There's nobody there.

- What do you mean?

- There's no body there.

- How can there not be anybody there?

- Want to show us where you saw her?

- She was totally dead.

- She's there.

- She was right here.

- She was definitely laying here.

- We're not crazy.

- It looked like she was strangled.

- We're professional people.

- I'm in publishing.

I'm looking to start a restaurant,

basically French.

She's a fantastic cook.

I'm against the restaurant.

Calm down. Calm down! Please!

Look, in the time it took you guys

to respond, somebody removed the body.

Not that you didn't respond quickly.

It took three minutes.

Not counting the half-hour the 911

operator took to understand me.

Nobody is doubting you.

We're going over the building, all right?

All right.

Did you check...?

- He's been at his business all day.

- Any witnesses?

- Corroborated.

- You didn't use our names, did you?

No, we didn't. If you think you saw

his wife, shouldn't you tell him?

No. He's in on some scheme here.

We think you should file a report.

Then if anything turns up, it's on record.

- Give us a call, have a good day.

- Thank you. Thanks very much.

- I don't know how...

- I gotta have a drink.

Where is Ted

when all this stuff is happening?

He's got his date with Marcia Fox tonight.

He's probably out buying Spanish fly.

- Helen Moss might be in on this.

- I don't want to know about this.

We should change our lives.

We should move out.

Start over, maybe in Mexico. Sell blankets.

We'll work off the hood of a car.

- I'm just beginning to come down.

- I don't know what's happening.

It was like a show where you open

the door and see a dead body.

I've never seen a dead

person before in my life.

The only one I ever saw was my

Uncle Morris, who was 94.

He collapsed from too many lumps

in his cereal.

Is this the most exciting thing

that's ever happened to us?

This is too exciting.

I'd like a fishing trip or Father's Day. Or

the time we saw Bing Crosby on Fifth Ave.

I don't need a murder

to enliven my life at all.

Whoever did it was probably in the room

while we were there, hiding.

Make sure and tell me that

before I go to sleep tonight.

- That means he probably saw us.

- I'll never get my eyes closed.

I'm petrified. Not only that,

but I'm a little drunk.

- I wonder who was cremated. Who was it?

- Well, it was...

- It wasn't Mr. House. He has an alibi.

- Yeah, but I don't buy that.

She doesn't buy the alibi.

Let's get out of here.

I want to go home.

It's starting to rain again.

If only Ted were with us.

He'd have a theory.

Ted's got a mind like a steel sieve.

That hotel room was on the end

of the hall. It's right up there.

- That's the room.

- I know.

What if they got the body

out over that roof?

What are the lights...?

Larry, the lights!

- That's eerie.

- This gave me the chills.

- Let's call the police.

- No, no. Let's check it out.

Check it out?

I'm not gonna check that out.

- There's lights going on there.

- Yeah, that's crazy.

Why don't we go home

and call the police...?

No! This is my case.

What do you mean, "your case"?

I don't wanna do this.

If only Ted were with us.

Ted would be shaking in his boots.

I'm only trembling like a leaf.

We're with the police department.

We'd like to check out room 611, please.

- You were here before.

- That's right, yes.

- You are police?

- Just... Show him your card.

- My what?

- Your card.

Your police identification card.

He's got his card.

- Okay.

- Thank you very much. 611.

- Great.

- Is there any trouble?

I'm a detective.

They lowered the height requirement.

I'll take this card back.

They're expensive.

Okay.

- Be careful.

- Telling me to be careful.

- Now, just don't upset anything.

- I'm not.

I'm just gonna leave fingerprints,

so if there's a trial, we can get trapped.

The murderer must have

hid in this closet.

I don't like this. Let's go.

I gotta be in temple early tomorrow.

He must have dragged

the body out really fast.

I'm sorry! The maid.

You don't have to turn the bed out.

And no croissants for breakfast.

Here, take this for yourself.

Keep the mints coming on the pillows.

- Honey, really.

- Let's go. That's why the light was on.

- This is crazy.

- Just a second.

Let me look around here a little bit.

I did damage. L...

- Larry!

- What?

- Larry, look. That's her wedding band.

- How do you know?

- I saw it on her.

- You did?

So much for the police combing

this place. Where'd you find it?

Behind the door there.

Let's get out of here. Take the ring.

Maybe there's a pawnshop open.

The police weren't thorough.

They probably thought we were cranks.

We got no body...

They must get 50 crisis calls a minute.

- Why would they bother with us?

- This is very deep stuff.

We should not be here.

This is creepy.

Who knows who's involved in this?

This could go very deep.

This could be like the Warren Commission.

I don't like it.

- Oh, my God!

- What is that?

- The elevator's probably stuck.

- Why are we stopping?

- Relax.

- Don't tell me to relax!

- I'm a world-renowned claustrophobic.

- It's okay.

- Hit something. I don't like this.

- I am hitting it. It's okay.

It's easy for you to say,

but I'm phobic.

There's plenty of air in this elevator.

Just don't panic, okay?

- I'm not panicking.

- Just don't worry.

- I'm gonna say the rosary now.

- Somebody's gonna help us.

- Somebody'll find us here.

- I don't like this.

- Hello?

- Stop it.

- Hello!

- I can't take this.

I'm running over a field,

I see a stallion. I'm a stallion.

Shut up, Larry.

Larry, just shut up and calm down.

- I see grass, I see dirt.

- Shut up! Hello!

You said, "Act like a policeman. "

I said no.

You said, "Show them your card. "

I said, "What card?"

Larry, boost me up.

We'll get out there.

- We'll do it.

- You can't get through that.

It'll never open. They're painted shut.

- They never open.

- All right, put your hand together.

I'm breathing. I can't breathe.

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