Marci X Page #7

I just thought that I was

so right and so real

and, and just this morning,

I put on five pounds

from the vending machines

in the lobby.

I...

Uh... Uh... Senator Spinky...

Spinkle.

Yeah.

This whole deal-- with you

and with these hearings

and with my song

has been one big,

complete misunderstanding.

What?

A misunderstanding?

Oh, really?

I'm sorry, but I believe

that your message

has been,

in fact, far too clear.

No.

Just like the history

of the proud black people,

once again,

we've been misunderstood.

We've been accused

and oppressed.

Ain't that right?

What are you talking about?

So l...

Miss Feld and l...

are gonna educate y'all.

We are?

Oh, please do.

As African-Americans, we

got us a proud oral tradition.

That's right, mama.

Proud.

We've even got our own language.

Ain't that right?

I said, ain't that right?

Yes. Yo!

See, and this is a language

that white folks

just ain't, like, down with.

They don't get it. Ya dig?

No, they don't. They don't.

Uh, as in, for example,

maybe, when "bad" means "good."

Or "illin'."

It means "happening."

Who knew?

And like "phat."

That's a black word,

but in white English,

it would probably mean...

"Just swell."

You phat.

Thank you, motherf***er.

Which means

"my dear friend."

-Right on.

-Peachy.

See, we can connect.

Can I get an "amen"?

Brothers and sisters?

Amen.

Hallelujah.

So, like the joint

I was dropping

at the awards show,

I say, "Let me love you

in the butt."

That's all.

You see what I'm saying?

No! We do not know

what you're saying.

Just hear him out.

Don't be crack.

-Whack.

-Whack.

See...

in the hood, "in the butt"--

that don't mean

like no sex thing.

Huh?

No, no. Please.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hell, no.

No, it means, it means,

I would imagine

something entirely

and completely different...

...in the... in the...

in the rich, vivid

dialect of

a disenfranchised people,

a people we once enslaved.

You know,

my mama was a slave?

At Wendy's.

So, Dr. S, we're all

eager to hear, then,

in that...

poetic, triumphant

language, just what does

the phrase mean?

It means, "Let me

love you with respect."

"Let me love you

in a very special way."

"Let me love you

forever."

It's really so beautiful.

Know what I'm saying?

You dig?

No, I don't dig.

Two days ago,

controversial rap star Dr. S

told a Congressional committee

that in his song, "ln the Butt,"

the title phrase actually means,

"with love and respect."

Is this just a desperate ploy

to save his career

and the future

of Feldco lndustries?

Or has the slang remark

actually begun to take hold?

Is Dr. S becoming

the new American hero?

All across America, the cultural

crossfire has begun.

We are gonna hang him high!

A national survey shows

strong youth support for Dr. S.

Please. These polls are pure

media distortion.

I am here to protect

and defend the American people,

not to listen to them.

Dr. S, you are doomed.

You heard her:

We're doomed. Finished.

Senator Spinkle

is so powerful, so determined.

But "ln the Butt" is

going triple platinum.

I bought five copies as gifts.

Plus, we're making

all this money.

It's the biggest selling single

in the history of the label.

Celine Dion wants

to do a remix-- as a duet.

But this, this isn't

about money anymore.

Right? Isn't it, isn't it

about freedom of speech?

Yes.

-Yes. -Yes.

-You're right.

Oh, for sure.

You're going to have

to take the single

and the CD off the shelves.

That's what Senator

Spinkle is demanding.

You now what she needs.

Botox.

Everywhere.

But that isn't going

to change her mind.

What else can we do?

You know,

the ladies are right.

We are?

What are you thinking?

No. We can't.

It'll be wrong,

it would be low.

It would be the title

of my next CD.

Which is?

Play dirty.

I've got it!

For your mama.

Who was that?

It's after midnight.

Delivery.

Mom, are you still working?

Sweetheart, the hearings

end tomorrow.

I have to prepare my decision.

It's from Dr. S.

The note says

he made it just for you.

Oh, please. Put that down.

And wash your hands.

But, Mom, everyone loves Dr. S.

That's not true.

There are millions more

just like me.

It's called Utah.

Will you at least

listen to it... for me?

Yes.

Now, go to bed.

And no Boyz R Us.

Senator Spinkle,

I know that we've had

our differences,

but I've been thinking

about me... and you

and I know you're up

for re-election.

so maybe there's

something I can do...

Oh, well, I promised Chip.

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

Yeah, you heard that right

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

I seen the light

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

-Oh...

-That's what I'd do

Oh, my God.

Vote for Spinkle, yeah...

I am a United States senator.

Mary Ellen

That's what I'm sellin'

That's what I'm yellin'

Soon you'll be jellin'

Come on, Senator Spinky

You're on the brinky

Don't need no shrinky

You make me kinky

Uh-uh-uh, don't you touch it

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

'Cause she's the one

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

And keep your gun

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

-Oh...

-'Cause she's pro-life

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for Spinkle

But don't tell your wife

Hey

Thank you

Th-Th-Th-Thank you

Twinkle, twinkle,

little Spinkle

You're in the pink

So just unwrinkle

Come on, you're the one

Yeah, you make me hum

So watch out, White House

'Cause here she comes!

Vote for Spinkle

Vote for Spinkle,

that's one fine b*tch

-Vote for Spinkle

-lf you vote for Spinkle, huh

She'll help the rich

Vote for Spinkle,

vote for the Spinkle

My sister

-Wow!

My brother

Just vote for Spinkle

'Cause she's a mutha!

So, you have requested

a private meeting...

before I announce my findings.

And I assume that

you are hoping for,

that you've come begging

for some sort of plea bargain.

-She's psychic.

-Oh, she knows.

Well, I'm sorry,

but it is far too late for

apologies or special favors.

Dr. S, it is time

to take your medicine.

I know.

My music can infect anyone.

Can you imagine the damage one

of my beats could perpetrate

if it got into the wrong booty?

Oh, what would happen

to the country...

our families, these hearings?

If even a senator

wasn't safe...

Who are you talking about,

Mrs. Clinton?

I mean what if

the American people,

on every network, in prime time,

was exposed to a Spinkle

shaking her thing

to a Dr. S song?

But that's impossible.

That's entertainment.

Where did you get that?

Chip!

You were taping me?

You're just like your father.

It's for your own good.

I love you, Mom.

In the butt.

After deep and sincere

deliberations,

the committee and I have

come to a decision

regarding Mr. Feld,

Dr. S and his music,

and we have determined

that not only

is this CD not harmful

in any way, it is, in fact...

the most important

cultural document since the

Declaration of lndependence.

And it is every American's duty

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