Mardi Gras: Spring Break Page #4
eager to overcompensate
for whatever
meagre existence you have in college.
I see it every day.
And it always ends badly.
Trust me.
Point taken.
Challenge accepted. Game on.
Mike, I really gotta go to the bathroom.
Max just went at the last hotel.
Jesus, now you've got me doing it.
Well, it's not Max this time, it's...
You don't have a name for your ass?
This is the place from last night.
Well, maybe they had
a cancellation or something.
Hey.
A little early
for your dinner reservation, gentlemen.
We figured it was a long shot,
but we just wanted
to see if any rooms had opened up.
Let me just check.
No.
The baby's head is starting to crown.
Excuse me, sir, can you point me
towards your nearest bathroom?
The bathrooms are for guests only.
Please, it's... It's an emergency.
Then I suggest you call 911.
You don't understand.
This could do irreparable damage
to my lower intestinal...
- Meet me out front in 20.
- Hey!
Get back, don't...
Security.
One or two?
Definitely number two.
Hello. Are my eyes deceiving me
or are you two
dead ringers for the Olsen twins?
No fighting over who gets to be Mary-Kate.
have a sip of your drink?
Please, by all means.
Hey, Mike! Perfect timing. I was just thinking
that the four of us
should continue this conversation...
What's going on here?
No, no, no, bud. Let me handle this.
Hey, listen, pal.
You're ruining our game.
Can't you see my boy and I
You're "working them."
Big time.
We're trying to, you know, do them.
Look, there's three sausages and two ovens.
You do the math, big guy.
They are 15 and 16, for God's sake!
Three days we've been here,
and you're the 100th college guy who's
tried to get in my daughters' pants!
Daughters?
Did it work for any of them?
I've got a good mind to check out of our
hotel and go home right now!
Daddy, no!
Your dad's right!
This is no place for girls your age.
You don't need to deal with jerks like this
harassing your daughters all week.
And look at him, he's a slob.
If I were you,
I'd get out of here, too.
And you! You owe this man an apology!
He is obviously a responsible parent,
who understands that
impressionable young ladies
should not be exposed to
what is going on here on Bourbon Street.
I'm...
Sorry?
Come on, girls, let's go.
And thank you. Come on!
Daddy...
What the hell was that?
Watch and learn.
We'll need turndown service later.
Thank you.
Holy sh*t.
What're the odds?
Well played, Michael.
Checking out early, sir?
Not early enough.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
Hello?
You're never gonna
guess whose room I'm in.
- You're in someone's room?
- Yeah.
Come on, guess.
You'll never get it in a million years.
Tell me it's not Carmen Electra.
Yeah. How did you know that?
Because she just walked into the hotel.
What hotel? This hotel?
Finish up and get the hell out of there!
Done and done.
Please do come back, visit us again.
Don't count on it.
I believe you have a vacancy?
Dude, what's up?
- It won't flush.
- What?
There is a turd
the size of a Norwegian cruise ship
stranded in the toilet and it won't flush!
Okay, relax.
How am I supposed to relax?
It's Carmen Electra!
Jiggle the handle.
How are they gonna know it's yours?
Just get the hell out of there!
It's getting so hot out there!
I know!
I can't believe how far we had to walk.
Holy Mary, Mother of Christ...
We should wash up before the next parade.
- I'm gonna go take a quick shower.
- Okay.
I think the maid used our bathroom.
Gross!
Dominique, do you have the soap?
Yeah, it's right here.
Don't use all the hot water.
I want to take a quick shower, too.
I'll try, but you know
I'll just jump in with you.
Gee, it's hot!
That's nice.
Don't get my hair wet.
Will you wash my back?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
Your hands are so soft.
I wish I had your b*obs.
Oh, stop it. Your b*obs are gorgeous!
But yours are so perky.
Thanks, but I'd kill for that ass.
Not now, Max.
I trust you had yourself
a fine time trespassing.
I am so very sorry.
If I see you again,
rest assured I will be calling the authorities.
Okay.
Aren't you forgetting something?
That towel.
That's hotel property.
You do not want this towel.
I most certainly do.
- No, no, you do not want that towel!
- I want that towel!
- Just give me that towel.
- You don't!
I will have that towel, sir...
I will have the towel!
I'll show myself out.
Well, there's no sweet-ass balcony,
but you gotta admire
the craftsmanship of the bricks.
We got showers and beds!
It's fantastic! Did Scottie call?
Are you kidding me?
God damn it!
What's wrong?
We're going out.
Who are you
and what have you done with Mike?
Showtime.
I don't even wanna know.
Dude, get out of there.
Something in that fountain smells like sh*t!
Hurry up. Dry off.
Got somewhere to be.
Did you guys shower?
Okay, people,
we're about to start another contest.
Win passes to the hottest party in town!
All teams to the stage. It's the Maxim Party!
You don't wanna miss this.
We don't want to miss this!
It only happens once a year,
and this is your chance
to get in on the action!
This is gonna be the biggest party ever
with all the hottest guys and girls.
You don't wanna
go home and tell your friends
that you didn't have
a kick-ass Mardi Gras, do you?
Don't miss this opportunity
to party like a rock star
at the most exclusive event in the city.
It's the Maxim Party!
All teams sign up
with Zane at the front of the stage!
Hey, sailor,
what brings you to the ultimate destination
for incredible bar contests?
And half-price beers.
Actually, I'm looking for
the girl I've been stalking.
She said she'd be here.
Well, maybe you can
buy me a drink till she shows up.
Can't talk. Max has gotta pee. Hi.
So that's Scottie.
- Who is Max?
- It's his penis.
What, you and your friends
don't refer to your...
Vaginas.
Mike, it's cool!
It's endearing.
Really?
No! It's creepy and weird.
Why would we do that?
Who can drink more beer than me?
No one!
Who's more amazing at life than I am?
No one!
Hey, Mike!
We've been friends since ninth grade.
Really? That's great.
Yeah.
You know, good friends are hard to come by.
Apparently they're also
creepy, weird, and really loud.
What'll it be, guys?
Two of your largest, bluest
and most ridiculous
umbrella-laden drinks, preferably on fire.
How did you know my drink?
Everybody loves the Flaming Lucy.
Bump did something stupid.
And that would surprise me because...
All right, one last entry!
Please welcome to the stage
Bump, Scottie, and Mike!
Come on! Maxim Party!
All the hot girls for Mardi Gras
are gonna be there.
Remember. Free drinks, hot music
and, of course,
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"Mardi Gras: Spring Break" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mardi_gras:_spring_break_13362>.
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