Mardi Gras: Spring Break Page #6

I deal with horses and Indians."

Yeah. It also says, "If left alone on a

snowy mountaintop in a pup tent,

"I might do a dude."

What?

Cowboys are gay!

- When did that happen?

- Are you serious?

Scottie, do you remember when New Kids on

the Block was cool for like a week,

and then it became totally, utterly gay?

Not really.

Same thing's happening here.

Cowboys jumped the gay shark.

You know, Bump?

I'm gettin' the Cowboy, all right?

Okay. Well, we'll swing by a drugstore,

pick you up some body spray,

and a pack of ass condoms.

I wonder if Erica called.

Oh, my gosh! I am so stupid.

What?

I forgot to put my panties back on.

- Janice...

- I know.

I am such a scatterbrain!

I think your phone's poking me.

Sorry about that.

You gotta be kidding me.

Wait for it...

Have fun.

What... You said that if I brought...

Two girls, two guys.

No. Guys?

Guys!

Don't say anything!

Hey, where's Bump?

Must be getting drinks.

Mikey, we wanna dance.

I'll...

Hey, thought that was you guys.

So, listen, I sort of

have this arrangement with the bouncer,

he's a good friend of mine from the gym.

Anyway, I was wondering, how would you

lovely ladies like to cut the line?

- Yeah. Yeah, sure.

- Yeah, sure, great.

Yes. Awesome stuff.

So, I wasn't sure

if you'd recognise me in this outfit.

We had that moment at the oyster place.

You four together?

Not him.

So that's how it is? Fine!

I hope you have a good time at the party.

I don't wanna go anyway.

'Sup, ladies?

Hey, Carmen, it's me!

Hey, Carmen! It's me, too!

We don't need her, bro.

She's not that hot, anyway.

This one?

I didn't mean it. She's hot as sh*t.

Miss Electra

requests your company in the VIP room.

Lucy!

Mikey, come back!

Hey!

I thought that was you

dancing with the hotties.

Those are just my cousins.

All right. You got a lot of weird

sh*t goin' on, don't you?

You don't know the half of it.

Dance with me?

Okay.

I'm beginning to thank Bump

for draggin' me down here.

- Hey, come here.

- No!

Don't come back!

I'm prepared to

make a civil rights issue out of this!

Dudes are people, too.

Hey!

Say, great costume.

Thanks. I like your whole

Colonel Sanders thing.

I have a brilliant idea, and 100 bucks.

Excuse me?

Hold on a minute.

It's okay. My girls are already inside.

I'm the anchor.

- The anchor?

- You know,

the chick some a**hole's gotta bone

so his boy can do her hot friend. C'est la vie.

Dude, go home.

Look who it is, the big winner!

What're you supposed to be, a douche bag?

I was gonna put a cock

in my mouth and go as your mom.

Let's do the Sprinkler.

Ready?

All right. All right, I can get behind that.

All right.

- What is this?

- Shopping cart.

Shopping cart!

So I told Harrison Ford,

"Don't you talk to me like that, Harrison Ford!

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

But he's a doll.

So what does a stylist do, anyway?

What doesn't a stylist do?

Pick out makeup, hair, shoes, clothes.

By the way, I love your little outfit.

Giddy up.

Oh, here! Have more champagne.

I'm... I'm good.

I did, one, two, three, four...

- And then, five...

- Don't be a p*ssy.

Can I borrow your friend for a second?

Hi.

You havin' a good time?

- Yeah.

- Listen, I have a confession to make.

I lost your necklace.

I found it.

What are the odds? That's...

That's what I said!

It must be fate.

I have to go

make an appearance on the dance floor...

You know anyone that might be interested...

Then let's go.

This is one of the best

parties I've ever been to.

Yeah. It's pretty cool.

Mike?

- What're you doing here?

- Me?

Is your grandfather

feeling better all of a sudden?

Mike, maybe I should just...

No, one second, Lucy.

I sent your family flowers.

And the next thing I know,

you're flashing all of Mardi Gras!

Okay! Okay, you're right. All right, I lied.

I'm sorry.

I just didn't think you'd understand.

What wouldn't I understand?

It's our senior year.

I mean, all the girls were coming down here...

It's my last chance to blow off some steam.

So that's what this is about.

Your friends drag you down here...

You see me flash a couple of guys,

and now, you're pissed.

So, you kiss this girl to get back at me.

Come on. That's not my Mike.

Well, maybe you don't know the real Mike.

Oh, yes, I do.

Goodbye, Mike.

Let's go back home, and everything will go

back to the way it was before.

If we hurry, we can still catch Idol.

Whoa, wait a minute.

I don't wanna watch Idol.

Okay. Well, we can watch

something else then.

I don't wanna watch something else.

I don't wanna do any of that any more.

I wanna be right here, at this party.

Because this is me, Erica.

What are you saying?

It's over.

What're you gonna do?

Run to your little slut?

If I wanted a slut, I'd stay here with you.

What?

Lucy! Wait.

Look, you don't need to explain, I get it.

We all have our roles, Mike.

- And that's your girlfriend.

- Lucy...

I'm just a girl you've known for 24 hours.

Lucy, I'm sorry, you... You don't understand.

Have fun at the party?

Where the hell have you been?

Funny you should mention that.

Right out here where you left me.

Thank you so much!

I was worried

I might actually partake in my own plans.

Well, I'm sorry, all right?

I got bigger problems to deal with.

Bigger problems

than leaving your best friend behind?

Well, my best friend

would have listened to me

when I said I wanted to go back to school.

Whoa, wow!

Are we really back on that again?

Look! If you weren't here,

Erica still would've shown her fun bags,

and you'd still be kissing

the ground that she walks on!

Nothing has changed.

Well, maybe ignorance is bliss.

You can't possibly believe that sh*t!

You know, Mike, in some messed-up way,

this is the best weekend of your life,

and you have me to thank for it.

Well, thank you, Bump.

Thank you for being

the obnoxious novelty act that you are.

Okay, Mike. Good luck.

Somewhere in this city,

there are people worthy of my friendship.

Where the hell is Scottie?

You're my only friend, beignet.

It's just you and me.

Sorry, we're closed.

Oh, baby.

This is not a good look.

You know, that dress makes you look fat.

I'm gonna ask you something, Lame Girl.

Would you say I'm a novelty act?

Ask me that again.

I'm sorry, were you fishing for sympathy?

Okay.

I'm probably gonna regret asking, but...

What's wrong?

I just try to show everyone

a good time, you know?

Is one awesome weekend too much to ask?

You know, if you'd been nicer to me,

I'd be more inclined to help your cause.

I have been nothing

but nice to you since the moment we met!

You call me Lame Girl!

Okay.

You...

You have nice eyes, Ann Marie.

Tonight, you're off duty. I'm in charge.

It's time you saw the real Mardi Gras.

Put on a clean shirt.

See? Isn't this great?

Yeah. Yeah, it's... It's great!

When are we going back to Mardi Gras?

Bump, this is Mardi Gras!

Look, you see that man leadin' the band?

He's been doin' this for almost 40 years!

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