Marley & Me Page #4

Got a new keyboard.

Got the same old paycheck.

Went wind surfing with Sebastian.

Met his new girlfriend Sasha.

Met his other new girlfriend Angie.

Watched models posing in the surf.

Wrote a column about

the growth of South Beach.

Interviewed Gloria and Emilio Estefan

at the Cordozo Hotel.

Introduced them toJenny,

who gushed like a teenager.

Went shopping at the mall.

Bought a Sharper Image pillow.

Slept like a baby.

Caught Marley eating the pillow.

Hid the evidence from Jenny.

Cleaned up Marley's vomit in the kitchen.

Helped Jenny make dinner. Overcooked

the spaghetti. Got into a food fight.

Proofread Jenny's column.

Read Sebastian's latest opus.

Went running with Marley

to burn off frustration.

Didn't see him chew through the leash.

Chased him 15 blocks.

Had to call Jenny for a ride.

Wrote a column about gas prices.

Wrote a column about water prices.

Found one tiny orange on our tree.

Jenny very pleased with herself.

Found my first gray hair. Found Jenny's

first gray hair. BoughtJenny flowers.

Rescued our new mailman from Marley.

Rescued a U.P.S. Guy from Marley.

Invited my parents to visit. Took them out

to dinner at a cool place on South Beach.

Got into a fight with Dad over the check.

Got into a fight with Dad about money.

Got into a fight with Jenny

about all the fighting.

Drove my parents to the airport.

Listened to them complain

about not having grandchildren.

Tracked a hurricane

heading for south Florida.

Hid in the bathroom during the hurricane.

Sat in the dark for three days.

Wrote a column about looters.

Wrote a column about volunteers.

Wrote a column about the beauty

of air conditioning.

Watched Marley dig

for buried treasure.

Spent Christmas with Jen's sister

and her family in Orlando.

Left Marley at their house to go to Disney

World. Had to buy 'em new baby furniture.

SawJen light up

around the little girls.

Got a flat driving home.

Wrote a column about state troopers.

Wrote a column about toll booths.

Went to dinner to celebrateJenny's raise.

Tied Marley to the table.

Marley, come here!

Chased Marley and the table.

Caught the table.

Wrote a column about Marley

pulling the table.

Tried to write a column about

anything but Marley. Nada.

Picked oranges from our tree.

Made orangejuice.

Drove down to Miami for

Bark in the Park Night at the Marlins game.

Brought Marley, who turned out

to be a real baseball fan.

Tried to stop him from chasing

a foul ball in the stands.

Tried to stop him from chasing

a foul ball on the field.

Wrote a column about the ball game.

Took crap from Sebastian about it.

Met his new girlfriend.

Can't remember her name.

Went snorkeling with them.

Cut my leg on a piece of coral.

Went to the emergency room.

Wrote a column about hospitals.

Went to an Easter egg hunt atJenny's

boss's house in Boca. Drank mimosas.

Met a doctor who does

three liposuctions a day.

Wrote a column about nannies in Boca.

Wrote a column about the women of Boca.

Wrote a column

about writing columns.

Came home to find Jenny

dancing with Marley.

Tried to think of reasons

not to have a baby now.

Nada.

Why don't you just

let him off the leash?

Because although I love him,

I don't trust him.

Honey, it's been two years.

He's never had an accident.

I know, 'cause I never

let him off the leash.

We're not gonna be the guys who get

Dog Beach shut down, are we, Marley?

Nope.

Okay. So what's next?

Um, ice cream?

No. I mean on your list.

- My list?

- Jen, the list-

Your little play list that you had when

we got married that had the game plan.

- It was basically my marching orders.

- My plan?

Your plan. I wanna know

what's next. Scare me.

- You really wanna know?

- Hit me.

- Well, it's a toss-up between the new roof-

- Very practical.

And, uh- and a baby.

I could live with a few leaks.

- Really?

- Yeah, a couple.

But you know, a couple leaks

turn into maybe one big leak...

and then that big leak becomes

a very big responsibility.

- That's true.

- We may want to think about fixing a lot of things...

- before we start-

- Well, honey, we already fixed Marley.

If we fix too many more things, then

I think this conversation becomes moot.

John, are you serious?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

- You realize we're not talking about an actual roof here.

- Yes.

I got that. About halfway

through I picked it up.

Good metaphor though.

And you're not just saying this 'cause

you think it'll lead to some funny columns?

Honey, come on. I mean,

if I get some funny columns...

that's collateral damage

I think we can live with.

I mean, I'm ready... if you are.

Well, instead of trying

to have a baby...

why don't just stop

trying not to have one?

- Okay, if I'm following you

correctly, and I think I am- - Uh-huh.

This is the part-We head back,

we take it off, we get it on.

Yes, but you'll- It'll have a little

more romance than that.

- Yeah, we'll get some candles, some Sade of course.

- Sade?

- Honey?

- Yeah?

Did you have kibble today?

Marley, come on. Marley, go.

Honey, he's a dog.

He won't know what he's looking at.

No, no, trust me. He knows,

and he resents the hell out of me.

- Go on, Marley. You have to go.

- Oh, baby, please focus. Focus.

- Okay. All right.

- Mm-hmm.

Good. Good. It's even better

than the last one.

- Thank you.

- You're very good, Grogan.

I like that piece you did

in Boca last week on the woman.

- What'd you call her?

- "Boca-hantas. "

- Is that true- She had her b*obs done four times?

- That's what she said.

Hysterical. And is that true

about you and your wife?

- You're trying to have a kid?

- Well, you know, we're not really trying...

- 'cause we don't wanna-

- How does that work?

- What do you mean?

- Well, I mean, you having sex?

- Yeah.

- Did you pull the goalie?

- Yeah.

- Then you're trying.

Congratulations. Good work.

"Not trying" trying?

Oh, yeah. 'Course, you'd know that

if you ever read my column.

Hey, all due respect, but does

anybody ever read your column?

Come on. I bring Marley out here

to help you run your game...

on these poor girls,

and this is the thanks we get.

- How long you been at it?

- A few months.

- What changed your mind?

- Well, here's the thing.

I'm actually married to someone...

and I care about what she wants.

Well, is it what you want?

Yeah.

- I guess that answers my other question.

- Yeah?

I'm about to do a piece

on the growth...

of the domestic drug trade

for the Times magazine.

- You're freelancing for the New York Times?

- Yeah.

Yeah, but it's a big story.

Too big for one guy and, uh, I was

hoping you'd write it with me.

Are you kidding me?

- Be a chance for us to work together.

- Yeah, I would love that.

Of course, it will be

a lot of work, a lot of travel.

I would hope so.

Maybe not the best job for, uh,

somebody with a kid on the way.

Well, that's not necessarily

happening right this very second.

Let me talk it-There she is.

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