Mars Attacks! Page #5

state-of-the-art show room.

It is out of sight.

Gentlemen.

There is no way that we can lose.

Whoa!

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual to have fun with anyone

But when I see you hanging about

With anyone

It's not unusual to see me cry

I wanna die

I've been trying to call you all day.

The flight's been canceled.

Byron, there's Martians everywhere.

-Hello?

-Byron! Byron!

-I can't hear you!

-Byron!

I gotta get to Washington.

Byron?

Byron? Byron.

Do you know anyone who can fly a plane?

-Yeah, your husband, Art.

-No, he's dead.

I told him this was gonna happen.

I even loaded a plane with supplies.

I want to go to Tahoe, to the Tahoe caves.

It's remote, the Martians won't find it.

Well, where's the plane?

Private airfield.

Other side of the freeway.

-You think they'll fly to Washington, D.C.?

-Why? I wanna go to Tahoe.

You'll find it happens

All the time

Love would never do

What you want it to

Why can't this crazy love

Be mine

Jesus Christ.

Girls, get out! Get out!

Get out! Get out!

There's a Martian right behind me.

Hey, you're Tom Jones, right?

It ain't unusual

Tom, Tom, can I have an autograph?

Anybody got a pen?

-Hey, that was a hell of a punch.

-You'd better get that gun.

-I'm Tom Jones.

-Byron Williams.

Hey, I saw you fight

in Cardiff, Wales once.

-Yeah? Hey, Barbara.

-Yeah?

You all right?

-I need a drink.

-You and me both, baby.

-We better get out.

-You know how to fly a plane?

-Sure. You got one?

-She has.

Don't run, we are your friends.

-Martians blew up the shop.

-You're kidding me?

-Should I get Grandma?

-Forget Grandma.

She's halfway to outer space already.

Here, lock and load.

I'll tell you one thing.

They ain't getting the TV.

The president of France on line two.

Mr. President, the president of France

is on line two.

He says it's important.

Hello, Maurice.

I have some good news for you.

The Martian ambassador is here.

And we've negotiated a settlement.

Maurice, get out of the room.

Get out now.

Mr. President.

Mr. President.

I need you to sign this.

What is it?

My last will and testament?

It is an order to deploy

our nuclear capability, sir.

Three, two, one, fire.

What the hell was that?

Look!

What was that?

-Where you going?

-To go get Grandma.

No, you ain't.

Stay and defend this trailer.

That's what Billy Glenn would've done.

-You leave, you're disgracing a hero.

-I don't care. I'm gonna go get Grandma.

-Boy!

-Richie, come back here!

What in the hell is that?

Hey! Cut it out!

Stop it!

-This way.

-No, this way.

Bullshit! The airfield's over there!

Hey. Hey, just because

you're dressed like King Tut...

...doesn't mean you're our leader.

Look at this. This is wrong!

We're lost. He led us down a maze.

I'm going back to the hotel.

-Come on, this way!

-Wait!

-No, wait! Where are you going?

-Come on, Barbara.

I like him. I do.

A**holes. Why did I listen to them?

I should have stayed in the hotel.

Sh*t!

I surrender, okay?

You understand what that means?

Surrender?

Lookit. You're intelligent beings.

Let's cut a deal. I can help you.

I'm a lawyer.

You want to conquer the world,

you're gonna need lawyers, right?

Here.

You want my watch?

Take it. Take it. Go on. It's a Rolex.

Rolex.

-Nice shot.

-Yeah, pity I was too late.

Barbara, can I have the gun back, please?

Barbara, give me the gun and come on!

Grandma!

Oh, my God.

When I'm calling you

Richie, I think these guys are very sick.

What's happening to them?

What's killing them?

I think it must be my music.

Ho! Shh! Shh.

Quiet.

You think you can do anything you want.

Well, you can't.

You see, because we are human beings.

And we have the United States Army...

...that'll fight you to the last man.

And we'll never surrender.

Do you hear me?

We'll fight you on the beaches.

We'll fight you on the street.

We will never, never surrender.

Old Glory will win!

Democracy will survive!

We will never, ever surrender!

We will win!

The eagle will be triumphant!

No.

Why are you doing this?

Why?

Isnt the universe big enough...

...for both of us?

What is wrong with you people?

We could work together.

Why be enemies?

Because we're different?

Is that why?

Think of the things that we could do.

Think how strong we would be.

Earth...

...and Mars...

...together.

There is nothing

that we could not accomplish.

Think about it.

Think about it.

Why destroy...

...when you can create?

We can have it all...

...or we can smash it all.

Why can't we work out our differences?

Why can't we work things out?

Little people...

...why can't we all just get along?

What's this?

Don't run. We are your friends.

Don't run. We are your friends.

Next stop, radio station.

There it is.

Let's move it!

Here it is.

Go get it started.

Barbara, go with him.

-Okay.

-Cindy, come with me.

Tom. Are you sure you can fly this?

Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Who put that on?

-It's stuck.

-Cindy, over here.

Sh*t.

They haven't seen us yet. Come here.

-Cindy. Get in the plane.

-What?

I'm staying. I'll distract them.

The first chance you get, you take off.

-I'm not leaving you.

-Just do it.

I'll draw them away. Now, go.

-No.

-I said, go!

Oh, my God.

-What's he doing?

-He must have flipped!

-He's going to throw them off.

-Yeah, but we can't leave him.

No weapon. No clown outfit.

Just me!

Byron Williams...

...heavyweight champion...

...of the world.

Something's happened.

Something's happened to Byron.

When I'm calling you

Will you answer too

That means I offer my love

Our love will come true

You belong to me

I belong to you

Goodbye, my darling.

I wish things could've been different.

So do I.

Goodbye.

-I love you.

-I love you too, Nathalie.

Florence Norris...

...I hereby present to you

the Congressional Medal of Honor...

...the highest decoration

our nation can bestow.

Thank you, honey.

But don't you dare let this happen again.

Richard Norris...

...on behalf of my parents,

who couldn't be here today...

...for saving the world

from the Martians...

...I proudly present to you

the Medal of Honor.

You don't have to kiss me

if you don't want to.

I have to.

I prepared a speech. Is that all right?

Sure, that's very appropriate.

Hi, everybody.

First, I just want to say--

Can you speak up? We can't hear you.

Well, I want to say that there's

a lot of people in the world...

...that have, like,

done a lot more than I have...

...and they're the ones

that should be here now getting a medal.

And I want to thank my grandma

for always being so good to me...

...and for helping save the world

and everything.

So I guess, like, now we just have to...

...start over and start rebuilding everything,

like our houses.

But I was thinking, maybe instead

of houses, we could live in tepees...

...because it's better in a lot of ways.

Okay, that's all I have to say. Thanks.

-Was that okay?

-Yeah.

Do you got a girlfriend?

No.

Guys, come on. Give me a break.

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