Mars Attacks! Page #4

And if we notice down here,

behind the optic chiasm...

...several glands....

Very curious.

He who believes in me,

though he die, yet shall he live.

And whoever lives and believes in me

shall never die.

Billy Glenn Norris gave his life

defending our country.

Why did it have to be him?

Billy Glenn Norris is a true American hero.

May God rest his soul.

Ready. Aim.

Fire.

Aim. Fire.

Aim. Fire.

Hello?

Byron. Is everything all right?

You still coming tomorrow?

You just try and stop me.

That plane arrives at 4 p.m.

-Are the kids there?

-Yeah, hold on.

Cedric. Neville.

-Me first.

-No, me.

-Hey, Dad.

-Who's that? Neville?

Yeah.

-How you doing?

-We're going to the White House.

-You're going to the White House?

Yeah, tomorrow.

-Man, give it back.

-Leave me alone.

It's a school thing, like a tour.

So that means you're still going to school

once in a while?

Yeah.

-Give me your ma again, all right?

-All right. Hold on. Mom.

-You always get to the phone first.

-So what?

Well, I'm first to the game.

What are you wasting this phone time for?

We're gonna see you tomorrow.

Yeah, but there's something

I want to say to you.

Just because I feel like saying it,

all right?

Yeah, what's that?

I love you.

I love you too, Byron.

Now stop wasting money.

I'll see you tomorrow.

They're responding.

A message from the Martians.

-Really?

-They've issued a formal apology.

This is great.

Didn't I tell you this would happen?

The Martian ambassador feels terrible

and asked permission to speak to Congress.

I mean, that's good, isn't it?

You bet.

It's a great victory for our administration.

Ladies and gentlemen.

This is a proud day for all Americans.

This is a hell of a photo op, Jerry.

Are you sure I shouldn't be there?

For some picky reason, the Secret Service

don't want the executive branch...

...and the legislative branch

in the same room at the same time.

The Martian ambassador

is gonna say a few words.

Come on down, Mr. Ambassador.

Oh.

Mr. Ambassador, please!

Mr. Ambassador. What are you doing?

This doesn't make sense!

It's not logical! It's not--

Guess it wasn't the dove.

Fire!

They blew up Congress.

What did they do that for?

Maybe they don't liking

the human being.

Hello, gentlemen.

Nice of you to come

on such short notice.

General Decker,

it seems I owe you an apology.

Hey, we all make mistakes,

Mr. President.

Not anymore.

We're going to take charge of this thing.

Excellent, sir. I have prepared the order.

What's this?

Oh, that's your executive order authorizing

full use of our nuclear deterrent, sir.

Are you out of your mind?

I'm not going to start a war.

We're already at war, sir.

We have to nuke them.

We have to nuke them now!

General Decker, if you do not shut up...

...I'm going to relieve you

of your command.

We have to strike now, sir.

Annihilate. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Now...

...I want the people to know...

...that they still have two out of three

branches of government working for them...

...and that ain't bad.

I want the people to know

that the schools will still be open, okay?

And I want the people to know...

...that the garbage

will still be carried out.

And I want a cop on every corner.

Which, incidentally...

...we would already have...

...if they had listened to me

in the last election.

Jerry...

...how soon can we go on the air?

Uh....

My fellow Americans...

...it is with a heavy heart...

...that I speak to you this afternoon.

As you know...

...earlier today the Martian ambassador

and his confederates...

...attacked and killed many

of your representatives on Capitol Hill.

I will be conferring with other world leaders

as time goes on.

And rest assured that,

working together...

...we will soon come out...

...at a very real outcome.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Oh.

Nathalie?

Nathalie, is that you?

Yes. How are you feeling?

Not terribly good, I'm afraid.

May I ask you a question?

Mm. Yes.

Yes, of course you can, Nathalie.

Were you flirting with me on the show?

Because if you were...

...I just want you to know that I liked it.

Ha-ha. You did? Really?

Because, you know,

I've watched you on TV quite a bit...

...and, well, I've had something

of a schoolboy crush on you for...

...oh, gosh, ages.

Hi there.

Are you interested in the White House?

I work there. I'm the press secretary.

My name's Jerry Ross.

Maybe you've heard of me?

You wouldn't believe

the pressure of my job.

It's nice to see a new face.

Hey, are you doing anything?

Because if you want,

I could give you a personalized tour.

Would you like that?

Hey, Mitch, it's me. Can you let me in?

Oh, hello, Mr. Ross. Sure.

We're a little nervous here,

after what happened.

Exactly.

Many great men and women

have passed through here.

Now we're passing through here.

Feels good, don't it?

You're very graceful.

I like that.

Come here.

We call this the Kennedy Room.

Pretty nifty, huh?

So how's about a drink?

Ah. Getting more comfortable, I see.

Outstanding.

How's my lady doing?

Oh, missy, you're hot.

But could we get that gum

out of your mouth?

Oh!

My finger!

Hello? Hello, operator?

Operator, this is an emergency!

Help! Please!

Don't shoot.

Don't worry, darling.

Get down!

-Thank you, Mitch.

-It's my job.

Jimmy. Aah! Jimmy.

What's happening?

They appear to be in a highly agitated state,

Nathalie. And I don't know.

I honestly don't know, Nathalie.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

This is frustrating.

I'm just not feeling myself. Nathalie,

if only I could hold you in my arms.

Oh, Donald. I'm scared.

Excuse me.

But you said you wanted to know...

...as soon as we had an analysis

of the gum.

-What is it?

-It's NO2.

Highly concentrated.

Nitrogen.

So that's how it could breathe

in our atmosphere.

What's that noise?

Theodore, I simply do not feel

that Lincoln....

It's a full-scale invasion. Mr. President,

we're gonna need to get you to safety.

Can we go this way?

Sorry, ma'am.

There's a tour going through here.

The Blue Room is often considered...

...the most beautiful room

in the White House.

In fact, it is often used by the president

to receive guests.

It is furnished to represent the period

of James Monroe.

Hey, what's that?

That is a portrait of James Monroe.

Go, go!

-We lost Taffy.

-Oh, no.

Mr. President, please. Keep moving.

We have to get you to the back stairs!

The Nancy Reagan chandelier.

Marsha!

Marsha!

Marsha?

What are you guys gawking at?

Get that president out of here!

And I personally guarantee...

...that you will get a complete return

on your investment...

...within five months.

Mr. Land, excuse me, please.

Just a second, Sheik Rakmula.

Now, even in a time of so-called

intergalactic emergency...

...the people still wanna roll

them bones.

Mr. Land. I believe--

Just five more minutes, Quinn.

What I would like

for you gentlemen to do...

...is to view our brand-new,

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