MASH Page #10

Kill 'em! Kill 'em, goddammit!

My God! They've shot him!

Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop,

it's the end of the quarter.

What did l make you a major for?

For a team like that?

l did the best l could.

l didn't know they'd get a ringer.

- l ought to put you in and let 'em kill you.

- What about my knee?

You better get on your goddamn knee

and start prayin'. Trick knee, my ass.

My God!

- How's that?

- Did you see that?

Get the hell back there. Get back there.

Well, looks like we may make it.

Seconds to go.

OK, fellows,

we don't have vety much time left.

l got a special play l wanna run,

a semi-eligible play.

Line up with evetybody to the right

of the centre except Hawkeye,

who drops back one yard

before the snap of the ball.

That makes you the semi-eligible. Just take

the ball from Trapper between your legs

and hide it under your belly and walk

toward their goal. Right? Now, Trapper...

All right. Come on.

- This is only one time. $5,000.

- Worth a tty.

- lt'd be a miracle.

- Whaddya say, let's do it now!

Ready?

Set!

- What are you doing? Get back!

- l got the ball!

Run with it!

- Two dollars

- Two dollars.

Four dollars.

Out. l fold.

Raise you two.

Raise it another two?

- l have an Oklahoma.

- Oh, God!

- What is that?

- Two eights, a ten of spades, a deuce, a five.

- You win!

- What do you have?

Tokyo. The United States

Armed Forces Radio is on the air.

Duke? You busy?

- What is it?

- Henty's got our orders. We can go home.

- Right now?

- Any time. Whenever we want.

D'you mind if we get out

of this guy's brain first?

Can't you sew this thing up?

You got that vessel under control.

- l just...

- Haven't you?

- l wanna make sure the oozing is checked.

- Damn perfectionist.

Yeah, well, l'm...

l'll see you.

Five goddamn months and they don't even

give a guy time off for good behaviour.

Hey, see you around.

lt's possible.

Take care of the squirrels.

So long, Pup-Pup.

Will you go, for Christ's sakes? Go before

they change their minds. Get outta here!

Oh, God, listen favourably to our prayers

and with your right hand bless this jeep.

Send your holy angels so that all who ride

in it may be delivered from evety danger.

And as you granted faith and grace by your

deacon Philip to the man from Ethiopia,

who was sitting in his chariot

reading holy scripture,

show the way of salvation to your servants,

so that, helped by your grace

and always intent on doing good works,

they may, after all the trials

of their pilgrimage and life on earth,

attain to everlasting joys

through Christ our Lord. Amen.

- Captain Pierce, your driver'll be here soon.

- He's here.

Let's go, driver.

Attention. Tonight's movie has been ''MASH''.

Follow the zany antics

of our combat surgeons

as they cut and stitch their way

along the front lines.

Operating as bombs...

Operating as bombs and bullets

burst around them,

snatching laughs and love

between amputations and penicillin.

Did Hawkeye steal thatjeep?

- No, sir. That's the one he came in.

- Vety good. Come along, my dear.

Follow Hawkeye, Trapper, Duke, Dago Red,

Painless, Radar, Hot Lips,

Dish and Staff Sergeant Vollmer

as they put our boys back together again.

Starring Donald Sutherland, Elliot Gould,

Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall,

Jo Ann Pflug, Rene Auberjonois,

Roger Bowen, Gaty Burghoff, David Arkin,

John Schuck, Fred Williamson, lndus Arthur,

Tim Brown, Corey Fischer, Bud Cort,

Carl Gottlieb, Dawne Damon, Tamara

Horrocks, Ken Ptymus, Danny Goldman,

Kim Atwood, Michael Murphy,

G Wood, Rick Neilan and Bobby Troup.

- Goddamn army.

- That is all.

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