Massacre on Aisle 12 Page #5

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F*** you lookin' at

me for? I didn't do it.

It's gone?

Who the f*** steals

on Christmas Eve?

Black Jack yeah Pharmy. Where

your Christmas spirit man?

I'm Jewish!

Dave well someone shot him.

Who has a gun?

Kipper.

Mr. Kipper?

Oh no!

What now?

My belly button ring fell out.

Black Jack b*tch are

you f***in' for real?

Barbie it's too dark.

I can't find it.

No! Don't!

Black Jack oh f***!

Dave how come nobody

listens to me?

Black Jack he look people. We

gonna have to stick together.

Sh*t is goin' real

bad right now and

everybody is guilty of somethin'

Dave

why should we stick with you?

I still think you

killed the first guy.

Motherf***er I told you I

didn't kill that dude man!

Can you prove it?

You can't prove a negative.

Black Dave damn it.

I'm a private investigator

what?

Yeah, I was hired

by the corporation.

I was told to come here and

and watch everybody for various reasons.

Ah, sh*t.

Black Jack this place is

considered a black hole.

What does that

mean? Black hole?

You know. Sh*t goes in

but nothin' comes out.

'Cus everybody here is stealin.

I mean everybody.

Tara who else knows.

Mr. Kipper?

Hell no. He's the

big fish in all this.

He's been embezzling for years.

That's why you wanted

to call the cops earlier.

Look. I have a job to do.

Well f***, least I had a job.

So, you have a gun?

Son. Pi's have

gun in movies.

I don't own a f***in' gun.

Mmhm. And why

should we believe you?

Yeah. Why?

You know what.

Read it smart guy.

Dave December 6th, 8:30am,

Pharms smokes the marijuana

on the loading docks.

Mother f***er just

read the thing.

Man you got jokes and sh*t.

I was just tryin' to

paint the picture.

Jeez I'm sorry. Black Jack

ain't got time for that sh*t.

Dave

umm... December 6th, 8:30am

Pharms smokes marijuana

on the loading dock

9:
17 am Tara fails to ring up

merchandise at the checkout

in exchange for pills.

11:
40 Mr. Kipper pockets return

receipts for theft purposes.

Yeah there's a bunch of stuff

that's written in here.

Ya'll happy?

I wouldn't say happy.

Satisfied, yeah.

Alright so uh, what

do we do now?

We take the money.

Mr. Kipper's little

ship is sinking fast.

And I don't feel like drowning.

Yeah I never did

like the ending of Titanic.

Alright.

Screw it. I'm in.

Black Jack?

F*** it. Ya'll

know I can't swim.

I'm in.

Let's do it.

Look guys, if we

take this money,

we're all gonna have to

disappear like, forever.

Tara no problem here.

Dave yeah. I got nothin'

to stick around here for.

Well damn am I the only

one not fed up with life?

Sh*t you white people

are miserable man.

Get your ass in

therapy or somethin'

Tara I tried it didn't work.

Pharms halt!

Tara hey, it's just us.

Stay down there narc.

Black Jack

man f*** you I ain't no narc.

Pharms I said stay down.

Black Jack man f*** you.

Tara what is going on up there?

Pharms

just playin a little game.

Dave what kind of game?

Pharms Kipper hunting.

Dave Pharms, buddy, can I come

up there and talk to you?

Pharms I'd prefer you didn't

by the way, is Jack dead?

Black Jack I think so.

Pharms you think so?

Isn't that something an undercover

cop would thoroughly check out?

Black Jack

hey, I'm not a cop man.

Dave you know what's funny,

I applied for a mall security

gig right. I didn't hear-

black Jack shut the f*** up. Ain't

nobody asked you no sh*t like that.

One ten thousand. Two

ten thousand, three ten thousand

Pharms I'm gonna get you Kipper.

Tara hey sh*t head watch it.

What the f***!

Dave Pharms what's wrong with you?

You almost hit Tara.

Oaky would you cut

this sh*t out?

Black Jack come on Pharms.

I knew you was a f*** up,

but I didn't know you was shootin'

b*tches in the faces and sh*t man.

Pharms you know what officer I wasn't

but then I saw all that money.

It made me think about all the

things I could do with it.

Tara god that could buy

like a lot of pills

Dave come on. I don't

want to die Pharms.

Pharms, I get it. I'm broke too.

We ain't makin no

money at this b*tch.

I want the money

too man. What's up?

Too late deputy. You said nay.

I clearly remember it.

Dave Pharms this would all

be a lot easier if we all

just work together buddy.

How can I trust him. You've

been lyin to us the whole time.

Black Jack that's my job man.

That's all I can say about that.

Not an honorable one.

Black Jack neither is this.

Stealin', killin',

eatin' paint chips and sh*t.

Who's killing?

Please!

Come on!

Okay. I'll be the

bigger man. Come on up.

Hey!

It's locked.

Dave

Mr. Kipper?

Pharms

yeah. Hit it again.

Tara

f***ing yeah. Hit it again.

Pharms we're comin'

in Kippers and bits.

Dave Pharms, you okay?

Pharms I got shot.

I got shot.

Dave hang in there buddy.

Hang in there.

Pharms oh it hurts Dave.

I'm really scared.

Dave I know it's not

that bad alright.

There's not too much blood.

Tara oh my god there's

so much f***ing blood.

Dave just shut up!

Oh buddy, don't let me die.

Dave you're not gonna die Pharms

black Jack he dead yet?

Dave will you shut up both of you.

What the f...

Have some couthe!

Black Jack whatever man, I don't

have time for this drawn out

Oscar winning death scene.

Oh!

Dave what? Pharms

oh it's coming.

What? Oh I can see it.

Black Jack

what's it sayin' Pharmy?

Pharms

no... refills...

Dave he's dead.

Oh my god.

Oh sh*t.

My first day of work and

already another dead person.

Okay, umm... how do they

do this in the movies?

Dave he's got these...

He's got those bug eyes.

Let me just...

Dave okay...

Oh! What the f***!

Tara

uh-

Dave okay alright Tara uh.

Dave finally. Alright look.

We have to f***in-

Pharms don't die!

Dave what the f***!

Enough f***ing around.

I am getting a crow bar.

Otto help me cock sucker!

Dave ah!

Dave

sh*t! Otto I'm sorry.

Otto

what you f***in' stab me for?

Dave sh*t, Otto I'm sorry!

Ah!

Oh my god!

Are you okay?

I- am-not-okay-

Dave holy sh*t!

Dave f***.

Dave f***!

Jack careful!

Dave sh*t!

I thought you were killed.

Jack

almost. What'd I miss?

Pharms is dead.

Ah. Overdose?

Maybe some lead poisoning.

Barbie's dead too.

Oh. That's a shame.

Yeah. It was pretty shocking.

Mr. Kipper has the money.

And just where are you going?

Headin home man. It's been

a really rough first day.

Plus I got to be back at

8:
00 am to open up the store.

We got that breakfast with Santa

promotion thing going on.

Oh. Santa's dead

too. By the way.

Uh, will we be

renting a Santa clause

because I'm not sure how that's

gonna work if he's not here and

the kids show up and all that

kind of stuff with the pictures.

What about gettin' the money.

Well you know as

odds play out I figure uh,

our chances of survival drop.

It's all becoming a pattern man

you know uh people bein'

killed and that kind of stuff.

And I'm under the impression

that only one of us is gonna

make it out of here alive so, uh

if we do, most likely

also we'll be in jail.

So if you don't mind.

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