Massacre on Aisle 12 Page #4

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Well I didn't know that.

How would I know that.

I don't-I'm really

really sorry.

Otto oh you shut your f***in'

mouth you crying little girl.

Dave shh. Santa ho, ho, ho.

Merry f***ing Christmas.

Now okay, I know this is

not the greatest timing but-

here's how we're

gonna' do things.

Santa uh, uh, uh,

back off. Or you're gonna

go on Santa's naughty list.

I will use this thing.

Intentionally.

Barbie baby.

Grab the money.

Black Jack hey what are

you doin' you drunk f***.

Snata ha, ha. I'm tired

of givin' presents.

It's time for Santa to get some.

What's this?

I, I wouldn't touch

that. It's a dye pack.

Come, come, let me see that.

Thank you.

Warning. Contents

under extreme-

Santa woah!

Tara oh my god!

Black Jack f***!

That is going to be one

messy workman's comp claim.

Jack, get the pap-

Jack?

Jack ladies and gentleman. Thank

you for shopping at Mr. Beavers.

The store is now

closed for the evening.

However, none of us are

leaving until we figure out what

we're doing with all

this great money.

Anybody thinks otherwise.

I locked the store.

I set the alarms.

And for your

further inconvenience.

I cut the phone lines.

I'm kind of a little

high right now.

And, I'm pretty sure I'm going

to be fired in the morning for,

a, smoking pot in

the store, and uh, uh,

2, shootin' Otto

with a crossbow.

But uh, I've decided,

I'm not leavin'

till I get that money.

Where are our phones Mr. Kipper.

Are they still in your office?

Oh there's a cell phone

party goin' on right now in the

shitter by the way.

Now that my high is wearin'

off, I'm startin to realize that

whoever killed that

guy in the box probably

wants that money too.

And he'll probably

kill us all for it.

And if one of us is the killer.

I just locked us

in here with him.

Folks.

We have a situation here.

Black Jack well no sh*t.

Otto he's loosin' it.

Pharms he's trippin' hard.

It's you.

What?

You did it. You killed him.

The f*** are you

talkin' about man?

You didn't want

Mr. Kipper to help

and then you pretended

it wasn't heavy.

Come on man. It

wasn't even like that.

You said it was slippery.

Look man. I didn't do t is sh*t.

I didn't even know this

mother f***er was in there.

Oh that's bull sh*t.

I'm not shittin you. I

didn't kill this dude.

I don't even

want the f***in' money.

But I can't let you

all take it either.

Why not?

What you mean why not?

If we take this money it

looks like we killed this man.

Black Jack and that's what

the cops are gonna' think.

I want no part to that sh*t.

Why didn't you tell me

you suspected a possible

employee theft Jackson.

Black Jack Mr. Kippler. Shut the f*** up.

I didn't kill this man.

Now that's the end of that sh*t.

Jackson, you're fired.

Oh you got balls now?

Pharms I don't know Jackson.

You have a violent

disposition. A quick temper.

And of course you're

black. The odds point to you.

Sh*t the odds point to you.

The dope dealer holdin'

a dangerous weapon

pointin' at people and sh*t.

Two to one says you did it.

I'd say you're more two to one

odds. I'm kind of three to one.

And I did not even

use this. Jack did.

I'd put even odds on him.

We can't forget

about the new guy,

I mean I'd say his squeaky

clean ass four to one odds.

I think he did it.

Long shot odds on Kipper.

Ten to one?

What about me?

I could have done it.

Dark horse. You're too f***in

stupid to kill somebody.

And put 'em in a damn box.

Hundred to one odds

says she did it.

F*** all of you.

A hundred to one.

Alright. Last chance guys.

We could split up

this cash and disappear

or this all can go the hard way,

black Jack look man we can't do

it like that. We just can't.

Otto I'll do it. Damn store took

my health insurance last year.

F***in' Obama care.

Now. Do you know how much this

is gonna cost me. I men

where do I even f***in

go for arrow removal?

Black Jack Otto, come on man.

Oh you mind your

business Mohamed.

The f*** did you just call me?

I'm appalled.

No you're a closet

homo. Are you in?

Pharms you're fired.

I don't

think so. I quit.

Tara umm you should

let him fire you

that way you can

collect unemployment.

Don't you all see. In this

man's death we have a new life.

All because of him.

B*tch shut the f*** up. You

screamed before we even saw him.

What?

Oh you know

what I'm talkin' about.

I screamed because I saw a body.

Before we did?

Okay-I di-

shut up. You did this.

I didn't kill this guy.

I've never even seen

him before in my life.

I'm stupid remember.

Okay really. So where

were you coming from then?

From the bathroom

where I was doing a line

of coke off the toilet lid okay.

Got anymore?

No.

Mr. Kipper

Tara, you're fired.

Uh!

Someone help me find Jack.

Pharms I know where he is.

We'll see, a**holes.

We'll see.

The drug lair.

The what?

Pharms

how do you know about that?

Black Jack

see they got a secret room

where they're smokin' weed.

Usin' store merchandise

to build bongs.

Some of that breakin' bad

sh*t going on in here.

What? No we don't.

We do.

Jack I'm back!

Jack. We got the loot.

We're splittin' the money.

Black Jack hey that sh*t is not true.

That ain't true.

Who's ready to die.

Wait. Die? What

is in that thing?

Jack you should just calm down.

Mr. Kipper you're really

close. Okay. I've got years

of hostility built up towards

you okay. So shut the f*** up.

Pharms, you know that book we

got. "The anarchists cookbook"?

Yeah.

You wouldn't believe what I made

in here. All from that book.

All from stuff

inside this store.

You didn't take

anything did you?

Cause remember when we tried

that synthetic mescaline recipe

we hallucinated

for like three days.

No, no, the front

part. The chemicals.

Tara you told me you lost

that book you a**hole.

Jack, what did you mix there?

Oh, it's really cool.

It's uh, hydrochloric acid.

Drop that cross bow Pharms.

Tara hey, Jack. It's cool.

We got the money.

No Tara. It's not cool. It's

not cool. Nothing's cool.

I think I'm having a...

A nervous breakdown.

Of some kind....

Come on Jack. Relax. Remember.

You're a sea man

on my tight little ship.

Whenever we, are at sea,

all you can think about is me.

Kipper. I think

it's gonna be you.

Otto

Jack. You listen to me son.

Now you got to be very careful

with that acid that is a highly

corrosive solvent.

That is what I used

to assassinate Kim JONG il.

I know, I know.

All I needed was Styrofoam,

and polyurethane, salt,

and orange juice. Tara, sorry

I drank your orange juice.

That is okay.

Pharms Jack, don't

you want the money?

Forget the money.

I want revenge.

Otto son of a b*tch!

Dave holy sh*t! Otto.

Otto buddy are you okay?

No I ain't okay cock sucker.

You see the hole in my head.

You see the hole in my head.

Yeah.

You can't clean that with a

little bit of toothpaste.

I don't think I'm comin'

back from this one momma.

Damn.

Sh*t.

Where's the money?

Someone took it.

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