Massacre on Aisle 12 Page #3

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Your attention please.

All employees

report to aisle 12.

That's the flooring aisle...

The one with the dead body...

Jack wonder what's in the bag.

Black Jack don't touch it man.

Why not?

Black Jack

look when the cops get here

they need this place un-f***ed

with. Don't touch it.

I can un-zip the bag enough that

it won't f*** it all up.

Okay smart ass. When the cops

get here, be sure and tell them

that I said not

to touch anything.

Black Jack go ahead.

Whatever. New guy, grab it.

Dave what? I'm not

touchin' that thing.

Jack why not he's dead.

He's not gonna grab you.

Jack get it.

Fine.

Ah!

Jack scary...

Hey! You do not laugh

at assistant management.

Uh..

Jack oh!

Merry Christmas.

Black Jack oh sh*t.

Jack Christmas black

Jack no, no, no...

Put that sh*t back man.

Zip this b*tch back up.

Put this sh*t back.

Hey man, put this sh*t

back and close this up.

Put it back. Put it back.

Put it back. Put it back.

Put it back!

You see how much is here?

Put this sh*t

back. Open it up.

Black Jack this is not some good sh*t.

You mother f***ers sittin here

laughin and sh*t like

it's Christmas time.

Jack this is great.

F***. In what book?

This ain't good.

Oh Jesus.

Otto sit rep boys.

Dave I don't know what aisle

they have the chairs in.

Otto situation report a**hole.

Oh lord Jesus.

Man down. Man down.

Man down. Medical,

medic on aisle 12.

Medic on aisle 12, medic, medic.

We need a medic over here.

Yeah we figured it

out Otto. He's dead.

This man is dead when

I say he is dead son.

This man's dead.

Otto who the f*** is he?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

Well where's Kipper?

I don't know.

Black Jack I tell you what.

I'm callin' the cops.

Jack hey, hey, hey, not so fast

my chocolate faced friend.

Black Jack hey, motherf***er.

You say one more thing to me man

you will not be opening

Christmas presents tomorrow.

Otto Jackson, go get Mr. Kipper.

We need everyone here right now.

We need to keep

this area centralized.

We need to keep it contained

and free of all contaminants.

Who's the stiff?

We don't know.

Okay well, goodnight

everyone. Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukkah.

Good Kwanza.

Stay right here Pharms.

You ain't goin' no where son.

It's nearly ten. I'm off.

Consider it hazardous duty pay.

Pfff.

Mr. Kippler. Are you okay?

I'm fine. Drink?

No man. I don't think you

should be drinkin' right now.

The cops will be

here in a little bit.

I'm just a bit nervie.

Black Jack look we all are.

But we need to get back down

stairs and get through this.

Mr. Kippler

alright.

Black Jack hey yo what

the f*** are you doin'?

Jack what?

Black Jack the f*** you mean what?

The money. I told you

not to touch anything.

Jack

do you know how much is here?

Black Jack man I don't

care how much is there.

This ain't your sh*t to

mess with man. The f***

is wrong with you?

Hey this ain't Kumbayah

around here Dr. King.

This money's ours for HTE takin'

you mean to tell me you

can't use some of this to

get up out's the ghetto

or maybe buy momma's a house?

Santa I don't know that's

a lot of f***in' money.

Hey, just shut the

f*** up Santa.

Ain't nobody

even talkin' to you.

Jack hey I don't know what

crawled up your black ass Jack,

but hear me now man, the

money there for the takin'

man f*** you.

Oh am I Jamaican you mad?

This money buy a

lot of Spears in Africa.

B*tch!

F***in' retard.

Mr. Kipper did you see that?

I think we all saw that.

So f***in' fire him.

He punched me.

Oh come on. He punched me in the

face. I'm the assistant manager.

The store's closed.

You're off duty.

You okay Jack?

Here throw some glue on that.

Field dress it boy!

I'm not okay.

Okay, I got punched in the face.

And you didn't do sh*t.

You'll be sorry.

You'll all be sorry.

Hey look ya'll. Go ahead

and get all the crazy ideas

and sh*t out ya' head right now.

This money belongs to this dead

dude, and we are not takin' it.

Otto damn right. If the black guy

ain't stealin' it, nobody is.

I understand if some of you are

uncomfortable with the situation

so I'd like to offer you all the

option of just going home.

What the f***. Sir

you don't run from war.

Otto, it's Christmas Eve.

We'll be here all night.

I'll deal with the

authorities myself.

Negative one-fairy-bravo.

We're stayin' right here.

Damn right we're stayin'

here. Look Mr. Kipper,

we are all involved.

Everybody, we need to stay here.

Pharms I see you

eyein' the cash.

Dave no I wasn't.

I'm not.

Sir. The infidels

are already plotting.

Pharms you wanna split the cash?

I f***in' hate all of you.

F***ers.

The store is closed.

Oh no!

You're off duty.

You're just gonna

get punched in the face.

You're the assistant manager

but nobody f***ing cares.

F***in' hate you all.

I may have to take steps.

I may have to take steps.

Black Jack hey look, we

need to call the cops.

Says who?

Says me.

He can't use that money now.

I have tuition to pay. We

can all split this up.

No. No we can't because this

money doesn't belong to us.

This money belongs to uncle Sam.

Umm, I agree. I think

we should split it.

Look, I don't give a f*** how

much you need the money.

It's not yours b*tch!

I say we vote.

Otto ain't no election.

Ain't no damn vote.

Santa I second the

motion to vote.

We said no vote.

All in favor of keeping

the money say aye.

Aye.

Aye.

Otto damn kids and

your occupy nonsense.

Ain't no damn vote.

Ain't no damn election.

Ain't no damn team decision.

Aye.

Now hold up. All those

opposed say nay.

Black Jack nay. Otto nay.

Nay.

What?

Tara aye or nay?

Mr. Kipper

oh, nay, nay. Nay.

Well there you

have it team stupid.

Four to four.

It's a damn tie.

Jack I vote aye.

Dave well that's definitely

the tie breaker.

Mr. Kipper

Jack. Where did you get that?

Sporting goods.

Aisle 7. It's on sale.

Black Jack what the f***

are you doing dick head.

I want an apology.

Jack, just put that down.

Barbie what is that?

Pharms a cross bow.

Yeah like Daryl on walking dead.

Barbie oh.

Dave black Jack why don't

you just apologize to him?

F*** that man. He

should apologize to me.

Pharms Jack. Were you

just, you know, up?

What? No. What d-?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

What? What does that mean? Up?

What does he, what does

he mean. What do you mean?

He's turbo charged.

Shut up!

Mr. Kipper

Jack. Are you on drugs?

You apologize.

Black Jack no!

Jack yes! Black Jack no!

Jack yes.

Please.

Man I'm callin' your bluff.

I don't think you're

gonna do sh*t.

Shoot me b*tch.

Black Jack

f*** it Jack. Shoot me.

Shoot me Jack.

Jack ahhhh!

Jack ah.

Otto ah!

Oh! Gun shot sweet Jesus

somebody call Tim Tebow.

Mr. Kipper medic! Man down.

Man down!

Oh my god I'm so sorry Otto.

Otto are you okay?

Do I f***in' look okay?

Why don't you pull it out.

Don't! You

leave me alone.

Leave it alone you

stupid son of a b*tch.

You leave a puncture wound.

You leave a puncture wound.

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