Matchstick Men Page #5

That`s good. All right.

Let`s go kick some butt.

-This taken?

-No.

You sure? You`ve got a lot.

This is nothing. You ought to catch me

during Little League season. Three boys.

Any of them cute?

Simon`s about your age.

Though you`d never guess. He`s so hyper.

-l`m gonna get a soda. Want anything?

-No, thanks.

Oh, honey. You dropped something.

-Not mine.

-You sure?

You gotta be 1 8 to play.

Looks like someone put it

through the wash by accident.

Yesterday`s drawing.

That looks like the second.

Probably a loser.

Yeah.

We should at least see if it hit.

Excuse me, sir.

Can we borrow your paper for a sec?

-We`re just looking for lottery results.

-Yeah, okay.

Metro, isn`t it? Here.

-Thanks.

-Yeah.

Let`s see. There it is.

Okay, ready?

-Six, 1 8, 30, 49--

-Wait. Six, 1 8, what?

Sorry. Thirty, 49, 60.

-Missed by one.

-Oh, you`re joking!

-Story of my life.

-Mine too.

-Any luck?

-Four out of five. Can you believe that?

Four out of five?

Four out of five pays.

-lt does?

-Sure, yeah.

Call the number on the back

of the ticket.

Well, thanks!

-Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

-What did they say?

We won $600!

-Holy sh*t!

-Holy moly! Six hundred dollars!

Couple of winners.

The woman said we just take it down for

verification, and they`ll mail me a check.

We should call your mom

and we can all go down together.

-lt`s okay, l`m supposed to be home.

-No, no, no.

We`re in this 50-50.

Good girl.

Watch the cameras.

That`s it.

Three hundred dollars.

Don`t spend it all at the coin-op.

Hide it when you get home.

-Did l do good?

-You did....

You did very good.

Very, very, very good.

See? Mom was wrong.

l didn`t just get your elbows.

-Well, there`s one last thing.

-What?

-l want you to give her the money back.

-What?

l told you l`d teach you a con,

l didn`t say l`d let you get away with it.

What am l supposed to say?

Judging by that last performance,

l`m sure you`ll think of something.

This is so....

Angela, l would not be a responsible father

if l let you get away with this. Let`s go!

l mean, it`s strange.

Two weeks ago, this was ancient history.

Now, all of a sudden...

...l have a daughter!

And l`m not scared shitless.

That`s good, isn`t it?

-lt`s however you feel about it, Roy.

-Yeah.

Yes, it`s wonderful.

Don`t take this too literally, but you`ve

been closing doors for a long time.

lt`s good to see you

start opening some again.

What?

l took Angela along with me

over the weekend, selling a piece.

And sometimes in my business...

...you have to create a value for something

which really isn`t there.

Some people call it sales,

but other people call it....

-Lying.

-Right. Which is a little....

l wasn`t sure how Angela

would go for it, but she took to it.

Like a duck to water.

She even helped out.

You know, this 1 4-year-old girl...

...working these people with me.

Working them, doc.

Do you regret it? Exposing her to that?

Her seeing that side of you?

Well, you know, it was a little--

lt made me feel-- l was a little--

l really liked it.

l really did. lt was the best time

we`ve had together.

Right.

-Fabulous cup trick.

-You like that?

He wants to fly the money to the Caymans.

Afraid he might get robbed.

As if somebody would do that.

When`s his flight?

Friday. What do you think?

About the hat? lt`s a little

Dwight Yoakam around the edges.

-You`re calling attention to yourself.

-Chicks dig it.

So where do you think?

Where do you want to do it?

There.

l`m here. He sits there.

Back to the bar.

Back to the bar. lt`s important.

Otherwise, we blow it off.

Okay.

-Who`s it going to be?

-Ernie.

Hobo Ernie?

Yeah, homeless Ernie.

-He`s a little over the top, isn`t he?

-For 50 bucks, it`s a hell of a bargain.

Okay, okay.

-There`s only one problem.

-What?

l think l`m in love with you.

-We`re gonna be rich.

-Do not do that.

That`s embarrassing.

Just stop.

-Does it turn you on?

-No, it does not turn me on. Stop.

Can you--?

Here you go.

-Where`s that cute little girl of yours?

-She went home to her mom`s.

Summer school.

She`s a cute one.

Must be lonesome without her.

-See you tomorrow.

-Okay. Hi.

-lt`s kathy, right?

-Yeah.

-l`m Roy.

-Hi, Roy.

-How are you?

-l`m doing all right.

Hi, Dad, it`s me.

l just wanted to say hi.

Summer school sort of sucks.

l get out at noon on Wednesday.

l`ll meet you out in front

if you want. Okay. Bye.

Hi, Dad, it`s me.

l just wanted to say hi.

-Pervert.

-Get in the car.

What would you like to do today,

little girl?

-Mom wants me home by dinner.

-You`ll be back. What would you like to do?

What?

-l own you.

-Oh, yeah?

We`ll just have to see about that.

Let me show you a little something

l learned in Taiwan.

-What?

-Dad...

...the first thing you need

to understand...

...is 90 percent of it is knocking down

at least one pin.

Oh, is that right? ls that right?

Not now!

-You want me to bowl for you?

-Yeah, l`ll just be a couple of minutes.

-You`ll be all right?

-Yeah.

All right.

This better be pretty important.

-He bumped it up.

-What?

-We gotta do it today.

-l thought it was Friday.

Me too, but he changed it.

-We gotta do it now.

-Tell him!

What am l gonna tell him?

We can`t postpone it.

He`s leaving for the Caymans for a month.

We`ve gotta do it now.

There`s no time. l gotta get the money,

get changed, get Ernie--

l know, l know.

But we got no choice.

What time is his flight?

Roy.

-Roy?

-Sh*t.

Your turn.

l`m sorry, l gotta take you home.

l can`t do this. There`s no time.

l can`t even take you home.

-Do you want me to take the bus?

-No, no. Sh*t!

ls it a job?

Can l help?

Get in.

l thought you kept your money

in the dog.

That`s just my piggy bank.

All right, l want you to wait here.

-Hi, safety deposit box, please.

-Of course.

l`d like to access

safety deposit box 366.

Signature and pass code, please.

-Why can`t l see?

-Because it`s secret.

Then why does she get to?

Can l add an access signature

to my account?

Certainly.

-Sign here and here.

-Do it.

Now can l get into

the whatever-it-is?

No, you don`t have the pass code.

-When do l get that?

-When l`m dead.

You wait here.

l mean it.

-Booth?

-No! No! No booth!

-So how much is in there?

-l told you.

No, in there!

Three hundred thousand?

Five hundred thousand?

A million?

Oh, my God!

How did you get that money?

l`ve been doing this a long time.

Why aren`t you--?

Why don`t you go live in Hawaii?

-Why don`t you go buy Hawaii?

-l don`t like the outdoors.

Okay, you know what to do, right?

keep real far away from us.

Anything goes off,

you get out of there.

Hand me a gold wedding ring, sweetheart.

Thank you.

These still make me look old?

Old and rich.

Okay, you remember your cue, right?

-That`s your cue. Then you enter.

-l know.

Okay, let`s do this.

And just in case, take this,

will you?

Stop worrying about me.

l`m barely even doing anything.

l went out with her,

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