McDull, Kung Fu Kindergarten Page #3

That means no TV, no air conditioner

no karaoke or batteries, no-nothing

Let's thank the Master once again

- Master, i want to p...

- Fine! l know about you,

Hong Kong kid,

everyone here knows what you've done

Anyone who needs to poop

should go now

Let's meet on the field when

the bell rings.

Okay, go

What are you doing?

You don't know how to poop?

What?

Do it like this...

Let me help you

That was impressive

Mama says l'm a straight shooter

l know, Mrs. Mak

You know my mother?

She asked me to look after you

Really?

She said you should train hard

Strengthen your legs

l got it

Good.

Go to the field to practice Kung Fu

A watermelon

- l pass it to you - l pass it to you

- You don't want it? - Haha

Haha

- l'll keep it - l'll keep it

- Take it home to my sister-in-law

- Take it home to my sister-in-law

Little did l know my sister-in-law...

has a watermelon in her belly

Little did l know my sister-in-law...

has a watermelon in her belly

What l taught you just now

was the new teaching method for Tai Chi

Wasn't it easy to remember?

Goosie

can you repeat it, please?

A watermelon...

Correct

l pass it to you. You don't want it,

give it back

Haha

l'll keep it. Give it to my aunt

Hey, mister!

Why did you hit my chicken

with the paper?

That's more or less correct.

The phrases you learned

help you remember

the Tai Chi movements

We invited a special friend

to demonstrate it

Brother Panda, please join us!

Hello, everyone..

l'm Brother Panda!

Students, follow Mr. Brother Panda

- A watermelon - A watermelon

- l pass it to you - l pass it to you

You don't want it?

- Haha - Haha

l'll keep it. l take it home Give it

to my sister-in-law

Sir!

Would you like a preserved plum?

Why won't you eat my pork?

ls it not tender enough?

Sir!

Would you like a preserved plum?

Why won't you eat my pork?

ls it not tender enough?

Mak-zi, given name McFat

He was born chunky then grew chunkier

And kept getting fatter and fatter

At his death, he lived up to

the name "big, fat, McBacon"

They say Mak-Zi invented yawning

belching and sitting

"Get up", needless to say,

was also his invention

"Hanging around" That's his too

He also invented stirring chop suey and

getting nowhere

"An order of Chop Suey to go"

was his innovation

That day, as he told the waiter

to doggy-bag the food

he paid with his newly invented...

never-seen-before credit card

Unfortunately he got beaten up

The ATM was another contraption of

Mak-zi

aka McFat

The waiter stuffed the card

in Mak-Zi's mouth

and tapped on...

his acupressure points

Mak-zi automatically gave the waiter...

all his money

Mak-zi was the first person

to open a supermarket

He opened a grocery store

Told the patrons to take a wooden cart...

...and load up the goods

The first person to declare...

bankruptcy was Mak-zi aka McFat

Rumor has it he even invented

the English alphabets

As he sighed...

one night...

"Alas"

"too bad

"sh...t"

Why is everything "almost there"?

"almost there"...

"almost there"

Mak-zi closed his eyes and meditated,

he eventually...

fell asleep

Loose collar, stiff top!

That means relax your neck

and hold your head straight

Drop bottom, surrender waist

Let your bottom drop to the ground and...

relax your waist

Drop shoulders, plunge elbows...

- Master! - What is it?

l don't have a waist

What? How can you not have it?

Mom says l'm straight all the way

How is that possible?

Master, this kid is shaped like a barrel

He really has no waist

Turn your head that way...

and the other way?

Master, he doesn't even have a neck!

What do we do, Master?

ln our nearly 1,000 year history

this is the first such disciple

we have encountered

No neck and no waist...

What do we do?

Hmm...at this point the only thing to do

is to...have...lunch!

Let's eat

Brother Panda,

where were you before?

Well, l come and go...

- Master found out i had no waist

- Really?

And no neck

My goodness

Do you think Master would kick me out?

No way!

l heard the founder of this clan

looked like a turtle

They still had kick-ass Kung Fu

Then l shouldn't have told anyone

l had no waist

Why? You want to be kicked out?

l miss my mother very much,

and it's boring here

Every meal is carrot cucumber

cooked in salty water...

You should play with

your classmates more...

...train and study together

Your box of oranges is almost rotten

Why don't you share your oranges with

your classmates?

How did you know?

Eat them first

You mother didn't know

there's no fridge here

Do you know if there's a phone here?

Yes, there's one in that store

at the bottom of the mountain

lt only takes 4 to 5 hours to go down

Uphill is longer, about 10 hours

Here, this is for you

Play with your friends more,

it'll take your mind off of your mother

Why is that only in Hollywood...

can you find such a big hotel

Three fat women learn to play

the shuttlecock

You kick it, i kick it,

until our legs go limp

Thank you. Such a fun evening

l want to treat everyone to oranges

Your oranges are almost rotten!

How did you know?

Then l'll let you poop here!

We get nothing to poop

Why don't you...

share your instant noodles with us?

You knew about that?

How about it?

Fine, but how are we...

going to cook them?

Follow me!

All right, everyone stop!

lt's lunchtime already?

You wish! Come with me,

we have a multimedia lesson today

Cool!

Sponsored by a mobile phone network

The Best of the Best:

World Kindergarten

MartialArts Competition

is about to begin in Yichang

Young MartialArts students of various

disciplines from around the world

including Karate, Taekwando, Judo,

Wrestling, Thai kickboxing, etc

will all send their best to compete

Our own Kung Fu clans...

will of course also participate

Promoting our Wushu

is a big responsibility

Today l will teach you,

"Pushing Hands"!

Master, who is the unlucky,

l mean,

lucky one you're going to send?

"Pushing Hands" is the hand-to-hand

combat technique of Tai Chi

Whoever excels shall have the chance to

earn glory for our clan

But i just dislocated my wrist two days ago!

- Me too! - Me too!

My stomach is bloated

Stop whining, go out and practice!

Four-hand engagement requires focus;

defend by following closely

No need to use force,

if you know how to use leverage

Fake a move, mislead your opponent,

you shall triumph

- Don't underestimate the Taoists

- Yes Master!

- My knees hurt - Me too!

- Me too! - Me too!

My stomach is bloated

lf you had to choose between seafood,

chicken,

and Sichuan spice

Which one would you choose?

l choose seafood. l choose chicken

l choose Sichuan spice

All of them!

l always buy these flavors for

the instant noodles

l never get tired of them

What about Tom Yum Kung flavor?

Less so, because it's too spicy

But i'd buy some if i see it

Mama said to learn to eat

some spicy food now...

that l'm in Wuhan

McDull, come. Lie down here

What the founder of our clan left us...

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