McDull, Kung Fu Kindergarten Page #4

besides his extraordinary skills,

was this medicine stove

l can't believe under my charge...

The founder's medicine stove

has become a cooking pot

l am ashamed, but punishing you

would not help matters

Gone is the evil spirit and

Taoist righteousness restored

Oh, my bum...

Have my share, i'm not eating it

My mother is taking me home

She learned about

the competition on TV

and is worried that l will be beaten up

l'm sorry, it was my turn

to wash the medicine stove

l was going to do it

Don't cry

Ask your mother to take you away

for a while

Take a break, come back when

the competition is over

Master would not be angry anymore

Should i bring another box of

instant noodles?

We're almost out

- What? Sure - Oranges?

My mother is here. Bye!

Mom, mom! i'm over here

Excuse me, l'd like to use the phone.

Anyone here?

Be quiet,

it's middle of the night!

Sister, what are you doing here?

This is my store and my home

l only train up there, but l'm not a nun

So you want your mother to pick you up?

Are you going to make me

go back up there

l don't care!

l want to leave too

Dealing with you little monkeys and

passing watermelons everyday

Only Master has the patience...

to train you naughty kids

lmagine a great master donning

a big fur coat

under the hot sun

playing Brother Panda

What? Master is Brother Panda?

Master was exceptionally gifted

He mastered all the skills before 20

and was recognized as

the most outstanding young martial artist

One day, a Kung Fu magazine printed...

an interview with Pruce Lee

The "Pruce Lee"?

Of course!

Pruce Lee said, "lf Chinese Kung Fu

does not reinvent itself..."

"it would degenerate into

just acrobatic shows"

He cited Tai Chi as an example

that it was only good for fitness

and its original combative powers

have all but vanished

Master read it and disagreed strongly

He wrote a rebuttal,

which prompted more rebuttals

Someone said "talk is cheap"

and suggested they have a match

So everyone can see

who's more powerful

Due to the travel restrictions back then

it was impossible for them to meet

at the same place

The China-Hong Kong border became

the venue

One on each side of the Shenzhen River

A duel across the river

Top martial artists everywhere

came to witness the match

Everyone still talks about it today

"The Battle of Shengzhen River"

One is an international superstar

The other,

a reclusive Master of martial arts

Both young and impetuous

Eager to prove themselves

Even though the battle was across a river

But when two experts go head to head

their weaknesses and mistakes

are easily spotted by the opponent

So it was every bit as dangerous as

a physical battle

The battle lasted all night

Both sides were exhausted

Finally, the well-respected

grand master of...

Zen Finger spoke up...

And halted the contest with...

a loud "Ya!"

The contest was over

The grand master imparted

some philosophical thoughts

but he was obviously from

a small village

because his accent was impossible

to decipher

plus he was upside down

with his big bum facing everyone

Therefore his long speech...

was understood by none

As to who won the contest

Opinions were widely divided

Master returned to Wu Dang and fell ill

He told me...

he was fortunate the battle was across

a river...

or else he would have died

under Pruce Lee's feet

Therefore Master decided to...

make Wushu reform his life's work

He gave up everything and

renounced the world

He vowed to modernize Tai Chi,

make it efficient and practical

He made numerous attempts...

but was not successful

Finally, when he ran out of ideas

He placed all his hope on you rascals

Yo, what you got down there?

That's a bit crass

How about:
mama,

show me your thing?

That's even more vulgar!

ln order to teach you little rascals...

he ignored the jeers from his peers

and came up with all sorts of

song and dance, and gimmicks

What he got in return was a full body rash

lt started out as a small patch

and could have been cured by

our own "Rash-Away" ointment

Little did we know...

the herbal medicine made it worse

because it was spiced with seafood...

and Sichuan hot sesame oil!

Never mind that

Just when he needed you,

you kids fled like bats out of hell

Master has lost all hopes

- Sister... - l've got a headache.

The phone is over there

- Mom... - McDull!

- Mom...

- Why are you calling so late?

Mother, please come and

watch me compete

When? What competition?

What should l bring?

lt's easy to retreat, hard to advance.

Keep the waist still

Your footwork will let you

maneuver around the wild beasts

l'm going to teach you

the Way of Heaven and Earth

The natural way of things by Lao Tzu

- What about the Shi Tzu?

- What Shi Tzu?

Never mind

A person follows the natural order of

the universe

and the universe follows

the way of "Tao"

But what does "Tao" follow?

"Tao" follows its own self.

No pretense, no charade.

What it is, it is.

You mean "Tao"...

doesn't sell out its chicken?

We are ready to leave the mountain

McDull, what are you doing here?

May, what are you doing here?

l signed up for Yuen Wo-Ping's

Summer Wire-work Camp

l came because l heard...

Tom Cruise was coming also

You had your eyebrows done?

No, l didn't. Gotta go, roll call time

l'm flying... Oops, my wires are showing

Master, we meet at last!

l'm Pruce Lee's disciple.

My master used to talk about you

all the time

He told me about your battle

He said the river saved him...

from a crushing defeat

He was inspired by you

and dedicated the last years of his life

studying Taoist Kung Fu

l made this from his last manuscript

He would have wanted you to see it

Contestants, let the games begin!

Representative from Butterfly Palms!

From Wu Dang,

Spring Flower Gate, McDull!

McDull, go for it!

Hey, that's my friend!

MC! l need to go poop...

Testing, testing...

Hello, my friends

My name is Mak-zi, aka McFat

l'm very happy to see you all here

This is a new clock invented by moi

The mechanism inside turns...

every 100 years

and the alarm sounds off...

every 1,000 years

Once it has sounded off

100 times meaning 100,000 years later

the bronze chicken l made...

would poke its head out

and announce the time by going

"cuckoo, cuckoo"

My workmanship was crude

Please don't laugh at the chicken

when you see it

Thank you very much

Sayonara

Thank you...thank you

A hundred years seem like a second

A slight movement in the clock...

brings out such a profound thingy

Of course, some are having...

a sudden enlightenment

The first one is Mrs. Mak

Oh, our ancestor has spoken!

She thought:
"National TV,

we are going to be famous!"

Thus she hastily returns to...

their ancestral home

hastily opens

a chicken-themed restaurant

and hastily closes it down

At the end of her ropes,

Mrs. Mak wracks her brain

for another idea

She realizes it'd be best

to build her business...

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