Me and Mrs Jones Page #2

Season #1 Episode #6

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GEMMA:

(Under breath) I’ll pay you.

JESS/CHARLOTTE

How much?

GEMMA:

(Smiles) 50 pence?

JESS looks at GEMMA, arms crossed.

JESS:

Pound each or no hug.

CHARLOTTE:

And we want half up front.

GEMMA:

You two are so like your father.

GEMMA surreptitiously hands them some money and they hug

before CHARLOTTE and JESS run into school. GEMMA turns in

surprise to see TOM standing behind her.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

7.

She is a little flustered by him, mostly because she’s

aware of all the mums in the playground watching them.

TOM:

(Playful) Did you just pay your

daughters for a hug?

GEMMA:

Of course not, don’t be

ridiculous! That was their lunch

money.

TOM looks over at the TWINS holding lunch boxes at the

school door.

TOM:

But they’ve got packed lun....

GEMMA:

They have yes but they... eat two

lunches they’ve got some sort of

high metabolic rate issue. It’s

a twin thing, which affects

their... How can I help you Tom?

TOM summons up courage.

TOM:

Right, good, straight to the

point, I like that. Gemma would

you like to go out with me for a

drink, slash, meal thingy

tonight?

Before he can finish GEMMA grabs his lips and pinches them

closed so he can’t speak. They stand staring at each

other. GEMMA holds his lips closed during the following.

GEMMA:

Oh! Sorry, I don’t know why I did

that - it was a nervous reaction

to the drinks, slash, meal thingy

-Why am I still holding your

lips? Oh no, I’ve been holding

them for far too long people

are....

GEMMA looks about her, realising everyone can see her holding

his lips. She makes eye contact with CAROLINE standing with

TANYA and SUSIE who gives her an evil look.

GEMMA:

OK, I’m going to let them go and

we will pretend this didn’t

happen and we’ll talk about

the... PTA!

She releases his lips and tries to act casual.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

8.

GEMMA:

Sooooo...?

TOM takes a pen from his jacket pocket, grabs GEMMA’S arm

and rolls up her sleeve and starts writing his phone number

on her arm.

TOM:

Ok look, I’ve talked to you about

the PTA every day for a month

when what I've really wanted to

do was ask you out. Which I

think you know....

The moment is broken by FRAN shouting.

FRAN (V.O.)

Watch where you’re putting that

sword Flynn.... Flynn!

FRAN approaches as TOM puts the lid on his pen.

TOM:

So call me Mrs. Jones. (Nodding

acknowledgment at FRAN) Fran.

FRAN curtsies a bit. TOM leaves. FRAN who is in a business

suit but has on bright spotty/patterned welly boots reaches

GEMMA. FLYNN is brandishing a large sword as he runs to

the school.

GEMMA:

(Looking at FLYNN) Oh no, is it

Roman day?

FRAN:

No.

TOM suddenly reappears and points at GEMMA’S arm (sleeve

still rolled up) to unnecessarily explain.

TOM:

(Points at GEMMA’S arm) Sorry,

sorry, I just wanted to explain I

saw someone do that on a TV show,

but it was on her naked thigh so -

a bit sexier.

TOM smiles at FRAN and GEMMA and goes. FRAN grabs GEMMA’S

arm and looks at the phone number.

FRAN:

The school DILF’s phone number!

They look over at TOM getting into his Range Rover

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

9.

FRAN:

Ohhh Gem’s result! He’s super sexy,

like a slightly porkier Antonio

Banderas in Zorro.

FRAN sees the THREE NIGELLA’S looking over.

FRAN:

The Nigella Wannabes are going to

hate your guts if you date their

Tom. You know, I could have been a

Nigella....

GEMMA covers her arm up and attempts to change the subject.

GEMMA:

If you hadn’t got drunk at sports

day and tried to seduce Mr.

Roberts. Interesting look you’re

sporting with wellies by the way.

FRAN:

Flynn buried all my shoes in the

garden again.

TOM drives past the gates in his Range Rover and blasts the

horn getting the attention of the whole playground. He

waves over enthusiastically at GEMMA, FRAN waves over

zealously back at him.

FRAN:

You’re going to go out with him,

right?

GEMMA:

He’s not my type.

FRAN:

You mean he’s not a self centred

philanderer with a very small...

GEMMA holds FRAN’s lips together.

CUT TO:

5 INT. GEMMA'S LIVING ROOM. MID - MORNING 5

GEMMA’s living room has a lived in feeling. She is sat at

her computer in the corner. There are family pictures of

her with the TWINS and ALFIE scattered around. She dips a

Mars Bar into her coffee. Suddenly JASON is stood behind

her, leaning against the door frame. He is wearing a grey

blouson leather jacket.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

10.

JASON:

Enjoying a deep throat chocolate

moment are we?

GEMMA:

(Startled with chocolate in mouth)

Jason! Blimey, you nearly gave me a

heart attack! How many times can

you please knock.

JASON:

The back door was open.

Besides, my kids live here I

should be able to come and go as

I want.

GEMMA:

Of Course, you’re right. (She

smiles, JASON seems pleased) So

I guess I should have the keys to

yours and Inca’s so when the

twins are with you I can just let

myself in and out. I’m sure Inca

will be happy with that

arrangement?

He makes a face like “ok you win”. GEMMA pushes past him

into the kitchen and opens the washing machine. She takes

out the washing and put it in the washing basket. Jason

leans on the kitchen table and helps himself to a pear.

JASON:

Fine, I’ll knock. Thing is Gem

Gem, Inca’s got a waxing exam

tomorrow and she needs to

meditate tonight so.....

GEMMA:

Oh no... no you don’t... the girls

are staying at yours tonight...

JASON:

Please, otherwise Inca will stealth

wax me in my sleep again.

GEMMA opens the utility cupboard a clothes horse falls out

which she wrestles with trying to get it out.

JASON:

I’ll still see them at the weekend,

Inca’s doing Sunday lunch, Swedish

style.

GEMMA:

As delicious as dry Ryvita

pickled gherkins and cabbage

sound you’ll see them tonight.

Me & Mrs. Jones - Episode One - Shooting Script - 17.05.2012

11.

JASON:

Why? What difference does it

make?

GEMMA:

Because tonight Jason...I’ve got

plans...to go out....

JASON:

Singles night at the Legion is it?

He laughs at his own joke and watches as GEMMA tries to

pull out the clothes horse which has now got caught up with

the long tube of the hoover.

JASON:

Need a hand?

GEMMA:

Nope.

(getting more annoyed

with the clothes horse)

I’ve got a date.

JASON snorts.

JASON:

No you haven’t.

GEMMA:

I have!

JASON takes over and pulls out the clothes horse and begins

to set it up. It is complicated and for the rest of the

scene he struggles with which bit goes where. GEMMA rolls

up her arm to show TOM’S phone number written on it.

JASON:

What sort of lunatic writes his

number on human skin?

GEMMA:

It’s sexy. He would have done it

on my naked thigh but I was...

wearing trousers. It’s Tom, Tom

Marshall.

JASON:

The knob in the Range Rover?

GEMMA:

Yes. No! Tom is not a knob.

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