Me and the Colonel Page #5

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And here I am in the royal bedchamber.

This is how you deserve to be treated,

like a princess.

I am not a princess.

I am an innkeeper's daughter.

You may feel at home here,

but I'm not used to such luxury.

All I can think of

is how much everything must have cost.

A beautiful woman should be surrounded

by beautiful things.

The cost is immaterial.

Darling, you are incurably romantic.

Come in.

Mademoiselle, sir, dinner is served.

Gefilte fish with horseradish sauce,

compliments of Monsieur Jacobowsky.

Delicious. You must try this fish, Tadaeusz!

Wait till you hear what he told about you,

why you are here in this castle.

What's the matter with you?

Why do you walk backwards?

Everybody around here walks backwards.

Compliments of my mother,

Reba Jacobowsky.

This was her own recipe.

Borscht and sour cream.

May she rest in peace.

What did you tell these people about me?

Szabuniewicz, dismissed.

- I reduce you to Private.

- Yes, sir.

What lie did you tell this Monsieur Girardin?

A big one, I'm afraid.

Wait till you taste this borscht.

My mother, God rest her soul,

was a wonderful cook.

Out of nothing she could make

absolutely something.

So can you. You do it all the time.

Tadaeusz! You promised me

to be nice to Monsieur Jacobowsky.

I am not nice to you, Monsieur Jacobowsky?

You are charming.

Believe me, he is charming.

What did you tell him?

I told him the Ptain government

had decided to re-establish the monarchy,

and that you were the pretender

to the throne of France,

travelling incognito,

on your way to be crowned.

Me, King of France?

An occupied France.

In wartime,

people will believe any rumour and this...

This appealed to his royalist sympathies.

Monsieur Jacobowsky, you are a genius.

Genius? He does it all with lies, trickery.

I don't care how you did it. I love you for it.

And so should you.

You must admit, you were enjoying yourself.

So...

It comes out.

- You love him.

- All right. Yes!

Colonel.

What mademoiselle is saying

is not what she really means.

What she really means is

that she loves the fish, really.

And she loves the borscht.

That's what she really means.

For a man of honour,

this situation is impossible.

This situation is fine. What's wrong with it?

It's you who are impossible.

And I'm tired of hearing about your honour.

You went too far.

Colonel!

- Colonel!

- Let him go.

I don't want him back.

We need him.

I don't.

We need him to drive the automobile.

Tadaeusz is right.

You are practical, Monsieur Jacobowsky.

Practical, yes.

If I were not practical, I would have

long since joined my sainted parents.

Please, don't be practical,

not this one night.

One evening, in this awful time,

and he had to spoil it.

Please don't let him.

- But, mademoiselle...

- Suzanne.

What's your first name?

Samuel.

To you, Monsieur Samuel,

and to this evening.

You know something?

I believe you are afraid to be alone with me.

- Yes, that, too.

- How very amusing.

It's not exactly amusing, it's uncomfortable.

But why?

That question I do not have to answer

because you are a clever woman

and you know why.

Monsieur Samuel, you are in love with me.

How very nice.

It would have been nicer

if I hadn't met you through the Colonel.

Please excuse me.

Monsieur Samuel, I think you are a puritan.

My father was very orthodox.

They are the worst puritans in the world.

Besides, I'm feeling very sorry

for your Colonel.

- That's an odd thing for you to say.

- No, not really.

He sees us together, laughing and talking,

sharing a sympathy and understanding

he knows he cannot share.

And...

I'm very angry with myself

for having let this happen.

But since it has happened, why not face it?

I have, in my mind.

- Oh, you have?

- Yes.

Well?

There are two possibilities.

- Even with us?

- Especially with us.

What are they?

Either you really like me,

Colonel or no Colonel,

or you like me only for the moment

because you are angry with him.

If you like me only for the moment,

that is good.

Why?

Because I have the sense to see it

and would not take advantage of you.

But, darling, Monsieur Samuel,

supposing I really like you,

deeply like you, Colonel or no Colonel.

- That is bad.

- You are a funny one.

Do you like to dance?

I used to love it

but lately there have been no opportunities.

Right this minute,

dear funny,

adorable Monsieur Samuel Jacobowsky,

there is an opportunity.

You dance beautifully.

It's a dream I dream.

It's a dream.

I, the only son of Reba Jacobowsky,

am dancing in one of

the most beautiful castles of France

with the loveliest daughter of France.

But if it is a dream, I hope I never wake up.

Jacobowsky!

I challenge you.

- To what?

- Duel.

I'm out of practise.

I asked Monsieur Jacobowsky

to dance with me.

If you want to challenge anybody,

challenge me.

Monsieur!

- What weapons do you prefer?

- No preference. I dislike them all.

Tadaeusz, you're mad.

You don't know how devoted

Monsieur Jacobowsky is...

Name your choice. Pistols or swords?

- What would you like?

- I haven't a thing on me.

You're drunk.

Stop being afraid and fight!

Afraid?

I'm not afraid of you.

It's you who are afraid of me.

I will say in your presence

what I wouldn't dare say in your absence.

I love her. Do you hear? I love her.

- Then fight for your love.

- Why not?

En garde!

Szabuniewicz!

En garde!

Jacobowsky!

Jacobowsky! Come here.

Other men, I can out-drink, out-fight.

You neither drink nor fight.

Here, maybe this will give you

some Dutch courage. Over here.

- It's good.

- Good? It's superb!

1792, brandy of Napoleon.

You know, Colonel,

I'm beginning to understand why you drink.

It...

- It solves everything.

- Drink, very important.

- You are the custodian of this castle?

- Yes, General.

It is requisitioned by the German army.

You will prepare accommodations

for me and my officers.

I will also need someplace to billet my men.

Colonel, Colonel.

- Germans.

- I know.

Where are they?

- Where are the Colonel's papers?

- I sewed them in my scarf.

- Good. And his uniforms?

- I hid them in the chimney.

Here, I found that in his pocket.

Pierre Michel, stone quarry,

Saint Jean de Luz.

Turn left off the Corniche Road

after crossing the Nivelle.

Can you remember that?

Pierre Michel, stone quarry,

Saint Jean de Luz.

- Yes.

- Good. I will destroy this.

Pierre Michel, stone quarry,

Saint Jean de Luz.

What have you done to me?

Hurry.

Do you realise, darling,

that this is the first time

I've ever seen you without a uniform?

I must say, you look very distinguished.

There is a time for advance

and a time for retreat.

This is the uniform of retreat.

I know. I've worn it all my life.

- How far are we from Saint Jean de Luz?

- Only about 30 kilometres.

But I'm afraid we're almost out of gasoline.

Well, the virtuous proprietress

of the best restaurant in France.

This is an unexpected pleasure.

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